[Pastor Ezekiel]

Is THIS a sign that the Rapture has come?

Cambodian Troops Quarantine (unpronounable village)
Military Forces quarantine Quan'sul

There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

Praise Jesus for the stalwart efforts of our masculine negress servant, Condaleeza Rice. Through her, GWB should set things right!

[SalvationSeeker]

Praise Jesus!
This just goes to prove for the unsaved that the dead CAN rise!
And this only with the help of a little parasite, what then could Allmighty God not do?
He could raise AND restore the dead properly! And give unto the Saved few eternal life!

Thus reality has proved Christianity right once again.
Praise God!

And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain.
Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ:
Whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not. For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
1 Corinthians 15:14-17

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Praise Jesus!! This reminds me of one of my favorite scriptures in Matthew:

27:51 And, behold, the veil of the temple was rent in twain from the top to the bottom; and the earth did quake, and the rocks rent; 27:52 And the graves were opened; and many bodies of the saints which slept arose, 27:53 And came out of the graves after his resurrection, and went into the holy city, and appeared unto many. 27:54 Now when the centurion, and they that were with him, watching Jesus, saw the earthquake, and those things that were done, they feared greatly, saying, Truly this was the Son of God

Glory!! I'm ready Jesus!!

[SalvationSeeker]

Praise Praise Praise to the Highest!

The great day of the LORD is near, it is near, and hasteth greatly, even the voice of the day of the LORD: the mighty man shall cry there bitterly.
That day is a day of wrath, a day of trouble and distress, a day of wasteness and desolation, a day of darkness and gloominess, a day of clouds and thick darkness, a day of the trumpet and alarm against the fenced cities, and against the high towers.
Zephaniah 1:14-16

And I will bring distress upon men, that they shall walk like blind men, because they have sinned against the LORD:
And their blood shall be poured out as dust, and their flesh as the dung.
Zephaniah 1:17

Neither their silver nor their gold shall be able to deliver them in the day of the LORD's wrath;
But the whole land shall be devoured by the fire of his jealousy: for he shall make even a speedy riddance of all them that dwell in the land.
Zephaniah 1:18


REPENT HEATHENS, FOR THE END IS NEAR!
THE DAY OF THE LORD IS COMING!

[OnYourKnees]

I've heard that you can stop their violent rampages by handing them something wrapped in green tissue paper. It makes them laugh, and stops them dead (ahem) in their tracks!

Unfortunately, only True Christians are allowed to know what the something is. Sorry, unSaved!