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View Poll Results: Who is your favorite Pastor?
Pastor Zeke 68 24.11%
Pastor Zeke 67 23.76%
Pastor Zeke 64 22.70%
Pastor Zeke 83 29.43%
Voters: 282. You may not vote on this poll

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Default Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 01:09 AM

Time for the yearly popularity poll: who is your favorite Pastor?

1st prize is a fully paid up trip to the Philippines, same as last year.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 01:33 AM

Hmm... I'd have to go with Pastor Zeke. I've only ever seen his sermons via the pay-per-view livestreams on the LBC intranet server, but even through a computer screen he's mesmerizing. Your hairs stand up and your blood rushes as he evangelizes and testifies, cursing out the devil and glorifying God. To see him in person must be electrifying, like watching Jesus Christ himself preaching 2,000 years ago with your own eyes. I've looked far and wide for another comparable orator and nobody else even comes close to Ezekiel Flint (grace be upon him).

This guy is a distant second:



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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:20 AM

I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.
Brother Mayor, are there any sins in particular that the flock needs to concentrate on? With the new street cameras you must have evidence advice on so many ranking members of local government. God forbid if they were to violate your personal directives.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 03:45 AM

Street cameras are useful in spotting certain kinds of sins, especially the sins Pastor Zeke hates the most.

Here is a demonstration of what Freehold PD watches for.

The Birdcage (4/10) Movie CLIP - Walking Like John Wayne (1996) HD - YouTube


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 06:09 AM

Pastor Ezekiel Flint was there with me when I was saved. He prayed and laid his hands upon me; that's when I came to realize the immense burst of pleasure that comes with forming a personal relationship with God.

Pastor Zeke is the holiest man I have ever known, and he delivers powerful sermons that save sinners in droves. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty in the service of the Lord, either: The good Pastor jets worldwide to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, taking a particular interest in converting the peoples of tropical islands and all-year beach resort communities around the world during the long Iowa winter. And he is the most important of President Trump's spiritual advisors. Who do you think told the President about hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin, and intravenous bleach as treatments for COVID?

Pastor Deacon Fred, also of our beloved Landover Baptist Church is definitely number two, followed closely by our own Pastor Ezekiel Bathfire.

Jesus is a distant fourth.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 05:02 PM

I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-12-2022, 08:52 PM

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Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.
To Catholics, "Pastor of Mankind" is code for "gay priest." But, for all his many flaws, I don't think Pope Francis is a homo. The homo was Benedict.


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-23-2022, 10:23 AM

Pastor Ezekiel Flint hands down.


That man has touched me in an a manner that I would never of thought possible, waking feelings and senses way down deep inside me. His penetration of my soul during days long Prayer Sessions©, leaving me a sweaty raw mass of a man prostrated before Him. Well worth the $35,000 'donation' to the Pastors Discretionary fund.

As the kids today say 'He gave it to me good!'


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 11-03-2022, 03:42 PM

With 110% of the votes in I'm just tallying up the final count, including a few mail-in ballots from areas without internet. It's a landslide for Pastor Zeke, again! Congratulations. A few "joke" ballots with write-in candidates (Mickey Mouse, Creflo Dollar, Karmela Harris) were destroyed per protocol.

The Pastor has left already for the Philippines on his Winter sabbatical so for his prize we will pick up the tab - bon voyage, Sir - this one's on us.


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Jesus Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 11-06-2022, 05:57 PM

I do not get it. It is like 'Who is my favorite God?'

There is only one God and one favorite Pastor. Pastor Ezekiel Flint.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-01-2023, 09:48 PM

I think what I most admire about Pastor Zeke is that his accomplishments are not necessarily tied to worldly deeds. His vapor is enough. In fact, he has people to bring vapor. You know there is substance behind it. KEEP VOTING!


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Default Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-02-2023, 12:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Street cameras are useful in spotting certain kinds of sins, especially the sins Pastor Zeke hates the most.

Here is a demonstration of what Freehold PD watches for.

The Birdcage (4/10) Movie CLIP - Walking Like John Wayne (1996) HD - YouTube
Thank you so very much, dear Brother Mayor Hold, for mentioning about the street cameras catching disgusting, debauched sins, such as those that are shown in the video clip that you've so kindly provided.

I just hope that the street cameras will soon be everywhere in Freehold. With all of the nauseating drag queen/trans/LGBT sinning that goes on, it wouldn't surprise me if any of those reprobates try getting through our gates and causing trouble. Why, the very idea of men masquerading and performing as women turns my stomach to no end! Surely, we can count on being safe from this sort of revolting, hideous thing, can we not?





(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "

Last edited by Isabella White; 08-02-2023 at 09:33 PM. Reason: Formatting error corrected.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs up Re: Who is your favorite Pastor? - 08-02-2023, 09:52 AM

Covfefe! The poll results are most encouraging. I told me 14-yo Filipino 'ouseboys that they were free to vote as they felt a-pleasin' and y'all can see the result here.

This means that the recent more frequent tithing schedule has been favorably received and we'll continue to upgrade your tithing schemes to ensure the continuous renovation of the Flint Mansion as the bestest and mostest impressive Pastor residence evah! This will lead more and more homers and harlots to the bosom of JHC! Gonna celebrate this with me 'ouseboys tonight by an extended frolicking session PRAISING JHC before the nightly confessions and floggings in case someone 'as sinned! Loverly!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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