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Default Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 12:08 AM
Brothers and Sisters of Landover-

I have come upon quite a conundrum in the providing of deserts for my family. They have become tired of my meticulously layered cakes and lattice-topped fruit pies and are craving something lighter for the summer months. I have considered using Jello brand Gelatin, but I have come across mixed information regarding the gelatinous substance. I have found both lovely American delicacies made from the boxed powder made of fruit flavor and cow bones-


But I've also seen some disturbingly suspicious forms of it:



Not to mention the way it jiggles like one of Satan's BET minions!

What is the best choice here, fellow Christians? Is Jello safe for my family, or a gateway to hellish perversion?

Yours in Christ,

Sister Bernadette
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 01:52 AM
Jello is a great dessert, and what could be better than eating a Jello shaped like America or the flag? Spread some coolwhip on it and you're talking grade-A dessert.

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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 02:21 AM
I agree with Mr. Richards, Jello is a wonderful American dessert. You can make it into any shape you like. And what's wrong with the way it jiggles? That just makes it more fun!

I wish I had some Jello earlier today when I was out enjoying the sunshine. Did anyone else notice how beautiful the weather was today? Just magnificent!

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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 05:35 AM
From the pics I can see where you would have concerns. But it just looks like even Jello has been corrupted by the homers.

My only problem with the jello is the jiggling. Could cause some of the ladies to wonder what those breast implants really would feel like.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 06:28 AM
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My only problem with the jello is the jiggling. Could cause some of the ladies to wonder what those breast implants really would feel like.
Worse, it could cause some of the men to think about it!

On the plus side, Muslims hate it.

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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 05:40 PM
I think Jello is probably OK to eat. Especially the red, white and blue kinds. I'm sure even JESUS himself would enjoy that jiggly treat.

Now, chocolate pudding is another story. It's the color of negroes and looks just like negro skin, lumps and all. Bleeech.



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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 06:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD View Post
Worse, it could cause some of the men to think about it!

On the plus side, Muslims hate it.
What will be next, Kool-aid? Christians love Kool-aid!

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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-18-2009, 06:44 PM
That explains my confusion....we call it JELLY!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jelly

It's only really popular with kids at birthday parties to be honest and I can honestly say I have never seen it so colourful as in your pictures!

As it's around 44% pigs skin watch out for swine flu!
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-21-2009, 08:23 PM
Thank you for your kind help Brothers and Sisters! Based on your opinions I've come up with a wonderful solution (though if anyone finds one better, please let me know!): Red, white, and blue varieties only, and I think i'll serve it IN the molds of the American flag, the United States, etc, to reduce jiggling and make sure it is a True Christian shape. I'll just avoid the more radical strawberry (pink-the color of gay), grape (purple-for bisexuals), and lime (green-for those dirty hippy environmentalists) Jello flavors, and everything should work out fine. Again, thank you all so much for your input!

In Christ,

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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 03:30 AM
Green jello is also the favorite of Mormons, Cassidy.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 04:18 AM
I love jello! It's so delicious! Definitely a gift from the Lord! And maybe it is a gateway to gay, but who cares? God loves gays, despite Him saying they are abominable and unnatural in the Bible. I know the Bible is perfect, but I like to just read the nice parts, and obviously the bad parts don't count cause the good parts sort of cancel them out? JESUS IS LOVE!
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 04:33 AM
Hi, um, I find you very interesting. Do you have aim? This may be an infraction, but I don't know or see any way as to send personal messages. I'm WindOfThorns. I hope you find this before this is deleted.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 04:36 AM
By the way, I don't really like Jell-O.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:00 AM
I don't have AIM. I have MSN tho.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:04 AM
Drats...Is MSN yahoo? Idk, but there's always email. I'll give you my spam email, until I can send my "real" one without it being possibly pilfered.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:12 AM
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Hi, um, I find you very interesting. Do you have aim? This may be an infraction, but I don't know or see any way as to send personal messages. I'm WindOfThorns. I hope you find this before this is deleted.
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I don't have AIM. I have MSN tho.
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Drats...Is MSN yahoo? Idk, but there's always email. I'll give you my spam email, until I can send my "real" one without it being possibly pilfered.
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Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:21 AM
We are not Lesbians. I wanted to befriend a person [and her the same] and that makes she and I gay...? I wanted to converse with one person, instead of the masses and that makes me gay~will you explain this careless assumption at least?

This site does not allow one on one communication, except when you give me infractions and send me insults. This was a way to have a private conversation, not to become a same sex couple.

So if to befriend someone means: "I'm that stupid", than I suppose I must be the dumbest of them all.

But thank you, for showing me Modern-day bigotry.

Have a Nice Life.
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Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:26 AM
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Originally Posted by WindsAglow View Post
Drats...Is MSN yahoo? Idk, but there's always email. I'll give you my spam email, until I can send my "real" one without it being possibly pilfered.
[email link deleted]
Oh well, I guess we do have to follow the Pastor's rules!
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Red face Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:36 AM
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Originally Posted by Serenity-Millennium View Post
Oh well, I guess we do have to follow the Pastor's rules!
I suppose so, but I think he may be already banning me. My posts are disappearing slowly.
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Posts: 472
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Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Serenity-Millennium is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Jello-Great American Dessert or Gateway to Gay? - 06-28-2009, 05:40 AM
Well, as the Bible says, you must love and pray for Pastor Ezekiel!
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