The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:13 AM
Hi all,
I'm glad to have seen the Light of G** Almighty in this site, even if I think you use His Name too much. I think I finally have a place to share my thoughts and feelings among people who think alike.
Just one question: why didn't I find any thread about the lies of Mayan Calendar 2012 End-Of-the-World theory? Everyone knows the Mayans were pagans and that the true end of the world, as revealed to us by John, will only happen in the second coming.
Please discuss.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:14 AM
Are you looking for work as a gardener? I think Rev. Jim was needing a new wetback.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:18 AM
Please tell Rev. Jim a true Christian needs to do his own gardening work. Only this way he will be honored in the eyes of G** Almighty.
Thanks for the offer anyway.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
Please tell Rev. Jim a true Christian needs to do his own gardening work. Only this way he will be honored in the eyes of G** Almighty.
Thanks for the offer anyway.
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Who is "G**"? Only GOD is Almighty. Whoever "G**" is, you are worshiping a false idol. The Bible tells us to worship THE LORD GOD, not "G**"
Is "G**" some sort of Dionysian penis god?
Quote:
Deuteronomy 4:16
King James Version (KJV)
16Lest ye corrupt yourselves, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female,
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The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:31 AM
[QUOTE=Billy Bob Jenkins;830511]Who is "G**"? Only GOD is Almighty. Whoever "G**" is, you are worshiping a false idol. The Bible tells us to worship THE LORD GOD, not "G**"[QUOTE]
You use G**'s name too much, as an infidel would. I say "G**" to refrain from telling our Lord's name, which is forbidden for sinful mortals as we are.
Please read your scriptures more carefully.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:36 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
You use G**'s name too much, as an infidel would. I say "G**" to refrain from telling our Lord's name, which is forbidden for sinful mortals as we are.
Please read your scriptures more carefully.
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I don't understand. I thought "G**" was your penis god. Who is G** if he is not your lord?
This forum is for worshiping God and His Son Jesus Christ Almighty, not your phallus of choice.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Honorary True Christian™
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
Hi all,
I'm glad to have seen the Light of G** Almighty in this site, even if I think you use His Name too much. I think I finally have a place to share my thoughts and feelings among people who think alike.
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Are you Jewish or something? They write G_D.
Quote:
Just one question: why didn't I find any thread about the lies of Mayan Calendar 2012 End-Of-the-World theory? Everyone knows the Mayans were pagans and that the true end of the world, as revealed to us by John, will only happen in the second coming.
Please discuss.
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Because you didn't look?
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=72522
So, how did you come to find Jesus, and what's your favorite Scripture? (You know, the things you were directed to share in your introduction?)
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:43 AM
You speak too much of phaluses, anal sex and your A.S.S. I truly believe you must be engaged in the sin of homossexual lust.
REPENT before it's too late, and surrender to the hands of G** Almighty, since He is the One who can save you.
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
So, how did you come to find Jesus, and what's your favorite Scripture? (You know, the things you were directed to share in your introduction?)
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I found Jesus in the ways of a pure, saint woman, who directed me to the one and only word of G** Almighty. We used to recite Bible verses all night long to refrain from the sins of the flesh. That's how I found my way.
My favorite scripture is Revelations, the moment when G** Almighty will return to wipe this earth of all the sinful Atheists, Homossexuals (that's you, Billy Bob), Liberals and Whores.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 02:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
You speak too much of phaluses, anal sex and your A.S.S. I truly believe you must be engaged in the sin of homossexual lust.
REPENT before it's too late, and surrender to the hands of G** Almighty, since He is the One who can save you.
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There is no need to get defensive. Does my firm and uncompromising stance against anal sex and phallus worship make you feel threatened?
No one here is going to submit to your false god. You may as well give up on that line. We are God worshipers, not "G**" worshipers, whatever that means.
Let me know when you are ready to worship Jesus. Then I will welcome you into the fold. Until then, the Bible demands that I treat you coolly.
Quote:
2 John 1:10-11
King James Version (KJV)
10If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed:
11For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
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If you could force your proud lips to confess a love of Jesus, someday perhaps your heart would follow. This would be a step on the road to Salvation. I would welcome you, friend, if only you would become a Christian. Give up your futile campaign against the forces of Heaven. This "G**" will only lead you to everlasting destruction.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
There is no need to get defensive. Does my firm and uncompromising stance against anal sex and phallus worship make you feel threatened?
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I don't need no defense, since G** Almighty walks with me. And no threats can harm me, since He takes me by the hand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
No one here is going to submit to your false god. You may as well give up on that line. We are God worshipers, not "G**" worshipers, whatever that means.
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We're talking about the same G** (Almighty), but you're the one who doesn't show Him and His Light any respect. Please refrain from using His Saint Name.
Jesus be our Saviour, we're One under Christ.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by pauline ho
We're talking about the same G** (Almighty)
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I didn't think there would be two ithyphallic deities going by the same unintelligible title "G**". Most false gods are cleverer than that, with names like Ashteroth, Azazel, or Baal, you know, words containing vowel sounds so that they can be pronounced audibly. Why does your false god use asterisks in the spelling of his name? Does he want to remain anonymous? Is he a fan of the artist sometimes known as Prince?
My Lord is the One True God, and He likes people to know of His powerful exploits. He even wrote a book called the King James Bible, which is a guide to achieving eternal life. Can G** boast of such gifts? I'll bet that he cannot. The King James Bible tells us that there is only one way to Heaven, and that is through God's Son Jesus. Have you met Jesus? Would you like me to introduce you?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:30 AM
Why do you call Him G** when His Name is Jealous?
Exodus 34:14 "For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:"
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:36 AM
Please stop the blasphemy. Maybe this forum is not, as I first thought, made of G**-fearing good people, but of unrepentant sodomists and sinners.
I'll make my mission to save you all and to show you the path of the True G** Almighty.
PENITENZIAGITE!
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
Please stop the blasphemy. Maybe this forum is not, as I first thought, made of G**-fearing good people, but of unrepentant sodomists and sinners.
I'll make my mission to save you all and to show you the path of the True G** Almighty.
PENITENZIAGITE!
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Why not just admit you're yet another 4chan troll, so you can get banned and we can get back to our lives?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:45 AM
Because I'm not. Why do you keep refusing to listen to the true G**'s word?
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:46 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
Because I'm not. Why do you keep refusing to listen to the true G**'s word?
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Please quote the Scripture which tells us not to write out God's names.
Chapter and verse.
Thank you.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Please quote the Scripture which tells us not to write out God's names.
Chapter and verse.
Thank you.
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Wait a minute... you mean to tell me that all this time he was typing "G**" but he meant "God"?
Now it all makes sense!
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by paulinho
Please stop the blasphemy...
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What blasphemy? You're the one ignoring what the Bible says.
I'll give that some people have valid (to them) reasons for preferring a different translation of the Bible than the King James, so let's look at some of the other versions of Exodus 34:14.
New International Version (©1984)
Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.
New Living Translation (©2007)
You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.
English Standard Version (©2001)
(for you shall worship no other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God),
New American Standard Bible (©1995)
-- for you shall not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God--
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
For you shall worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
American King James Version
For you shall worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
American Standard Version
for thou shalt worship no other god: for Jehovah, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Douay-Rheims Bible
Adore not any strange god. The Lord his name is Jealous, he is a jealous God.
Darby Bible Translation
For thou shalt worship no other ùGod; for Jehovah Jealous is his name is a jealous ùGod;
English Revised Version
for thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
Webster's Bible Translation
For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
World English Bible
for you shall worship no other god: for Yahweh, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God
So what is God's Name (according to the Bible, not you), and why do you refuse to use it?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: A Christian -
01-02-2012, 03:54 AM
Dear Seniorita;
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.
If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.
You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.
Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.
And don't get uppity!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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