[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Movie Review: A Series of Unfortunate Events

This movie is well named: there is only one fortunate event in it: close to the end, A character tells Canadian actor Jim Kerry, right to his face, "You're a terrible actor".

Everything else about it is unfortunate.

Hollywood loves nothing more than giving children terrible role models, and this movie starts by introducing them: a girl inventor (girl inventors are always spurred on by lust, just look at the diabolically creative uses they discover for vibrating cell phones and video-game controllers), a bookish nerd (yet the Bible is not one of the many books he's read) and a teething baby who seems to be under the possetion of some sort of satanist beaver.

These children happen to be orphans (orphans are always the whinest, most ungrateful bunch in the whole entitlement mentality culture) and the movie over and over forces down the viewers throat that they are the "good guys" and that their adopted parents are the "bad guys".

Yes, Hollywood hates Adoption. Clear proof of the pro-abortion agenda of the America-hating ultra-liberal left.

So these ungrateful children meet their new Dad, and the first thing they do is try to see how much they can disobey him. Instead of doing their chores properly, they talk back. The Bible makes it clear that what is called for in this situation is the "Rod of Correction". Their dad decides to "spare the rod and spoil the child" by punishing his son with a mere slap.

But even a little slap is too much for the permissive, anti-parent liberal media. The children then curse their father, and the Bible states that children who curse their fathers should be stoned to death. The father arranges to have them hit by a train, which is close enough.

But once again, the blame-America's-parents first crowd in Hollywood makes the parent seem like a villian.

Around this time the audience learns that their dad plans to inherit the kid's money when they die. Of course, Hollywood, being the culture of death, supports the death tax and hates inheritence. Anyone who wants to make money is automatically evil by hollywood standards.

The father comes up with a non-violent solution: he will marry the girl. But Anti-marriage Hollywood hates marriage. They once made a movie called "Child Bride" which inspired legislation to outlaw an entire generation of marriages in the Southern States.

Liberals claim that a 14-year old girl shouldn't marry because she's too immature to know what she's doing. Newsflash libtards, ALL women of ALL ages are too immature to know what they're doing, why do you think Eve at the apple? Liberals plan to follow their logic to the point where all hetrosexual marriage is outlawed.

Anti-family, anti-wealth, anti-unborn-American....Once they die, the makers of this film will get to experience some extremely unfortunate events: in HELL.

Two Thumbs DOWN.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

These children happen to be orphans (orphans are always the whinest, most ungrateful bunch in the whole entitlement mentality culture)

You are SOOO right! While most of the Iraqis are learning how to turn corners and light up tunnel-ends at lightning speed, heroic green-zone economists like me have to put up with some very pitiful whining and sobbing from Iraqis who seem to think we're some sort of bleedinghearts.

They're all "orphans this, wah wah wah, toddler stepped on a clusterbomb that, wah wah wah". Of course, we know the importants of self-responsibility, but all the whining got to the jews at the International Monetary Fund, and they decided to: get this: cancel 80% of the 120,000,000,000 bucks they owe our banks!

I might have been sympathetic if they had just left Saddam's stuff to be re-possessed, but instead they looted it, which means they get Saddam's stuff without having to pay back the loans he used to buy the stuff.

You should have seen what a shambles my offices were when I moved in. Half the chrystals in the chandellier were gone, the awesome "Conan-the barbarian" style mural had all the cool nekkid parts painted chipped off, The hot tub was all messed up....Conditions were barely liveable. It's downright demoralizing to think of the great and noble sacrifices I make going to waste on ungrateful bedwetters.

[Father Thomas Martin]

Still quoting Old Testament Law, eh?

Are you really CHRISTians or OLD TESTAMENT JEWdians?

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Jewdians? Nonsense! We only support Israel because they make such good cannon-fodder for the Muslims. The creation of Israel was just the American version of "resettlemen in the East" (after the German version failed).

The whole point of this article is that we HAVE to stand up against JEWISH hollywood! If we let them continue this way, one of these days we'll wake up and the American flag will look like this:

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

Are you really CHRISTians or OLD TESTAMENT JEWdians?

Look, everybody looks pro-Jewish when you compare them to the Church that had Hitler as a member.

And what about those rumors I've been spreading among the Iraqi staff about Israelis buying up chunks of Iraq and Jewish doctors harvesting Iraqi organs? Would a "Jewdian" do that?

Just because you patch up a punching bag doesn't mean you're on the side of the punching bag. That's what Israel is: a punching bag to keep the ham-fists of Mohamed's larvae away from us.