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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 09:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice
Why are you people doing this? It is racist,antisemitic,and just evil!
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Then why are you here reading this?
Queryingly Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 12:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cardinal Dario Fungi
This is a lie perpetrated by the hook-nosed Christ-killers. Read you Bible, my son, and see the Glory of the Roman race:
The Romans wanted to let Jesus go.. It was the heebs who demanded his blood and entered into a evil contract that they and their children would be responsible for His death for all time. (Funny, you think they would have had enough lawyers lying around to review suck a crappy deal of a contract, but there you go...criminals were never very smart.)
You know the rest. The Romans then go on to form the one true Holy Roman Church and run the world with His Holiness the Pope being God's anointed representative on Earth.
I shall await your apology while I go change my colostomy bag.
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Apology, fat chance Papist. You can change a lot of things, you can not change the facts. I never said that the Joos did not help kill Jesus. They where responsible for throwing Him under the bus in the first place. Judas ratted Jesus out for MONEY( Joos still do it to this day). The Romans had the chance to free Him, but no way was that going to happen. Tell me Papist who was it that beat Jesus? Who was it that made Jesus drag a cross through the city? Who was it that nailed Jesus to the cross and then stood Him upright on a hill? Who was it that stabbed Jesus in the side with a spear? Was it the Joos? NO it was the damn Catliks Romans.
Then the Romans add insult to injury, they start a church and worship the Mother of the very guy the KILL, what a bunch of assholes!
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 01:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Malice
Why are you people doing this? It is racist,antisemitic,and just evil!
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What? How is it racist? Are you a joo without a sense of humor? I thought all joos were stand up comedians.
Let me ask you THIS. Is THIS joke antisimetic?
Quote:
A little girl wrote to Sarah Palin asking, "How did the human race start?". Sarah Palin answered, "God made Adam and Eve, they had children and all mankind was made."
The next day the little girl wrote to michelle obama and asked the same question. Michelle obama answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys in africa from which the human race evolved."
The confused girl went to her father and asked, "How come Sarah Palin told me that mankind was created by God, and michelle obama told me mankind evolved from monkeys?"
Her father answeres, "Well, it's very simple . . . Sarah Palin told you about her ancestors, and michelle obama told you about hers!"
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Of course it isn't. What's the difference with this knee-slapper and the others? Nothing! Next time, think about what you are saying before you accuse someone of being a racist Anti-Semite.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 02:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Apology, fat chance Papist. You can change a lot of things, you can not change the facts. I never said that the Joos did not help kill Jesus. They where responsible for throwing Him under the bus in the first place. Judas ratted Jesus out for MONEY( Joos still do it to this day). The Romans had the chance to free Him, but no way was that going to happen. Tell me Papist who was it that beat Jesus?
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According to the secret scriptures the Pope showed me in the Vatican vaults of Vaults, his name was Benny.
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Who was it that made Jesus drag a cross through the city?
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Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus carried the cross. Why are you so confused?
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Who was it that nailed Jesus to the cross and then stood Him upright on a hill?
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The papers I have seen do not have full names, but I bet their names with Will and Edmond.
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Who was it that stabbed Jesus in the side with a spear?
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Oh....what was that guy's name. This was on Papal Jeopardy last night....Moe?
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Was it the Joos? NO it was the damn Catliks Romans.
Then the Romans add insult to injury, they start a church and worship the Mother of the very guy the KILL, what a bunch of assholes!
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Oh I see. You are asking about who is responsible for Jesus's death. Well, in that case, as we all know, ultimately, it was suicide which was his plan all along. Have you READ the Bible, son?
Peace Be With You,
Cardinal (Ret.) Dario Fungi
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 07:02 PM
One thing we know for sure about crucifixion is that it was a Roman practice. The Biblically proscribed method of capital punishment is stoning.
I believe, at the time, that the Jews weren't allowed to handle their own executions, but there is mention of a stoning in the Bible during the time of Roman rule. I'll let you menfolk figure that out.
One point about crucifixion that I heard somewhere-- but it wasn't the Internet, so I can't be sure-- is that the nailing the victim to keep them aloft may be a fiction in itself.
I was told that victims were impaled via their anterior orifices-- and that would indicate that the Romans like sodomy as much as their Greek predecessors--or possibly that the person who told me that liked sodomy . . . . Anyway, I KNOW that God would NEVER let something like that happen to Jesus -- the nailing, the whipping, the thorns and the other stuff, sure, but not THAT.
Confidently Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-08-2011, 11:55 PM
=Cardinal Dario Fungi;670866]
Quote:
According to the secret scriptures the Pope showed me in the Vatican vaults of Vaults, his name was Benny.
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Catliks are know to make up their own rules as they go along, OH I don't like that, great Idea we can just change it!
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Simon, the father of Alexander and Rufus carried the cross. Why are you so confused?
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Chapter and verse please
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The papers I have seen do not have full names, but I bet their names with Will and Edmond.
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Chapter and verse please
Quote:
Oh....what was that guy's name. This was on Papal Jeopardy last night....Moe?
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Chapter and verse please
Quote:
Oh I see. You are asking about who is responsible for Jesus's death. Well, in that case, as we all know, ultimately, it was suicide which was his plan all along. Have you READ the Bible, son
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Granted Jesus knew He was going to die for all Christians(NOT PAPIST SCUM BAGS) but He did not nail himself to the cross did He? Why do you hate Sweet Jesus? Why do you worship his Mama?
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-10-2011, 05:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by handmaiden
One thing we know for sure about crucifixion is that it was a Roman practice. The Biblically proscribed method of capital punishment is stoning.
I believe, at the time, that the Jews weren't allowed to handle their own executions, but there is mention of a stoning in the Bible during the time of Roman rule. I'll let you menfolk figure that out.
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I think that is an excuse to let Jews off easy. If you remember the Gospels mention that the Jewish authorities attempted to stone Jesus three times during his ministry. So they apparently still had that right. Also Acts mentions Paul, before his conversion, officiated at the stoning of new Christians. Josephus also verifies that Jews had authority to enact capital punishment and carried it out.
The Jews lost the right to self rule in 69 AD.
Quote:
One point about crucifixion that I heard somewhere-- but it wasn't the Internet, so I can't be sure-- is that the nailing the victim to keep them aloft may be a fiction in itself.
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Archaeologists have finally found evidence of nailing from the first century CE. It was just like the Gospels say, a single nail through the ankles with the legs positioned sideways.
Quote:
I was told that victims were impaled via their anterior orifices-- and that would indicate that the Romans like sodomy as much as their Greek predecessors--or possibly that the person who told me that liked sodomy . . . . Anyway, I KNOW that God would NEVER let something like that happen to Jesus -- the nailing, the whipping, the thorns and the other stuff, sure, but not THAT.
Confidently Yours,
Handmaiden
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As you mentioned, there were other atrocities perpetrated upon the victim while he hung crucified. Some worse than others. The gall they offered to Jesus and which was refused caused hallucinations and priapism.
YiJC, BS
II Peter 1:4 -- Whereby are giuen vnto vs exceeding great and precious promises, that by these you might bee partakers of thy diuine nature, hauing escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-10-2011, 06:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bible Student
I think that is an excuse to let Jews off easy. If you remember the Gospels mention that the Jewish authorities attempted to stone Jesus three times during his ministry. So they apparently still had that right. Also Acts mentions Paul, before his conversion, officiated at the stoning of new Christians. Josephus also verifies that Jews had authority to enact capital punishment and carried it out.
The Jews lost the right to self rule in 69 AD.
Archaeologists have finally found evidence of nailing from the first century CE. It was just like the Gospels say, a single nail through the ankles with the legs positioned sideways.
As you mentioned, there were other atrocities perpetrated upon the victim while he hung crucified. Some worse than others. The gall they offered to Jesus and which was refused caused hallucinations and priapism.
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Oh, thank you so much! I KNEW that I could count on one of my Brothers in Christ to clear things up.
And isn't Jesus just the BEST?! He suffered SO much for us and refused any hint of comfort just to avoid even the appearance of sin.
Happily Yours,
Handmaiden
His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 07:39 PM
My Great Grandfather worked in A Concentration camp
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johnathin
My Great Grandfather worked in A Concentration camp
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Are you saying he was a joke? That's pretty mean spirited, boy.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 07:50 PM
Jesus was a Jew
At the time His name was actually pronounced, " Yeshua," and that is the name used in this article.That Yeshua was born Jewish is one of the least contested truths of the Bible. The very first verse of the New Covenant reads: The book of the genealogy of Messiah Yeshua ("Jesus Christ"), the son of David, the son of Abraham ( Matt. 1:1). Who were Abraham and David?
Abraham was the first Hebrew. God changed his name from Abram ( Gen. 17:5). In Gen. 14:13 he is called Abram the Hebrew. So we can see that Yeshua (Jesus) is descended from "Abram the Hebrew." Even to this day, Jews are also called "Hebrews", and the language of the Jews is "Hebrew."
Abraham and his descendants were given the unconditional covenant of the Promised Land ( Gen. 17:8) and the covenant of circumcision ( Gen. 17:10). Abraham is the father of the Jews ( Acts 3:12-25). Isaac was his son and Jacob was his grandson ( Matt. 1:2). Thus, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are known as the Patriarchs, the fathers of the Jews.
Jacob's name was changed by God to " Israel" ( Gen. 35:10-12) and he had twelve sons ( Gen. 35:23-26) from whom come the Twelve Tribes of Israel. All of their descendants are known collectively throughout the Bible as the Children of Israel ( Ex. 1:6-7).
One of those twelve sons was Judah ( Gen. 35:23, Matt. 1:2) and it is from his name that we get the word 'Jew'. Although Yehudah (Judah) was only one of the twelve, by 700 BCE, because of the course of Israel's history, the word Yehudee (Jew) came to mean any person descended from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob ( Jer. 34:9). So, for instance, Saul haShaliach (the Apostle Paul) was of the tribe of Benjamin ( Romans 11:1) yet he self-identified as a Jew ( Acts 22:3).
Nevertheless, according to the Bible, the Messiah must be descended from the tribe of Judah ( Gen. 49:10) as King David was ( 1Sam. 17:12, 1Ch. 28:4) and descended from King David himself ( 2Sam. 7:12-13, Isa. 9:6-7, Jer. 23:5-6). That is why the Messiah is called Son of David ( Matt. 21:9).
Yeshua (Jesus) is from the Tribe of Judah ( Heb. 7:14). His earthly father was descended from David ( Matt. 1:6-16) and His mother was as well ( Luke 1:27, 32-34, 3:23-31).
In addition, Yeshua was born King of the Jews ( Matt. 2:2). The King of the Jews must Himself be Jewish ( Deut. 17:15). His aunt Elizabeth was Jewish (a descendant of Aaron, Moses' brother) and His uncle Zacharia was a Jewish priest ( Luke 1:5, 36). Yeshua was circumcised according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:21, Lev. 12:2-3), and redeemed according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:22-23, Num. 18:15). His mother atoned according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:24, Lev. 12:6-8). He is called The Consolation of Israel ( Luke 2:25) and The Glory of Thy People Israel ( Luke 2:32). Jesus was born a Jew.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 08:01 PM
Don't be a fool. Jesus is not a damned joo. Read the evidence HERE.
And kindly stop derailing our threads. Your idiotic comments are certainly not a "holocaust joke," now are they?
Please make a thread of your own in the " Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.
And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.
FYI; plagiarism is a serious international crime as well as a sin.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 08:04 PM
And i have my evidence here straight from the Bible.
Are you trying to tell me what the Bible says is fake?
If you truly are trying to tell me this you should look in the mirror before you try to correct others and look even more like a hypocrite
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 08:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KamikazeTommy
And i have my evidence here straight from the Bible.
Are you trying to tell me what the Bible says is fake?
If you truly are trying to tell me this you should look in the mirror before you try to correct others and look even more like a hypocrite
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Dear jap wannabee;
Better read the links I provided. There is no debate on the subject. The Holy Bible commands you to obey Pastors.
Quote:
Romans 13:1 Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.
13:2 Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 08:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KamikazeTommy
The very first verse of the New Covenant reads: The book of the genealogy of Messiah Yeshua ("Jesus Christ"), the son of David, the son of Abraham ( Matt. 1:1). Who were Abraham and David?
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I will tell you who they WEREN'T. They were NOT the fathers of Chirst Jesus. He was his own father!
Quote:
Luke 1 (King James Version)
30And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
31And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
32He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
33And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
34Then said Mary unto the angel, How shall this be, seeing I know not a man?
35And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.
36And, behold, thy cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren.
37For with God nothing shall be impossible.
38And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-17-2011, 08:59 PM
Two Jewish children are sitting on top of a roof near a chimney. A passer-by asks, 'What are you doing there?' 'We are waiting for our parents.'
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-18-2011, 06:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KamikazeTommy
And i have my evidence here straight from the Bible.
Are you trying to tell me what the Bible says is fake?
If you truly are trying to tell me this you should look in the mirror before you try to correct others and look even more like a hypocrite
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He is telling you that you do not understand what you read.
Let's see: Jews worship God. Agreed?
Jesus is God. Do you think He worships Himself?
Jews believe Jesus is not the Messiah. Agreed?
Jesus, being God, knows He is the Messiah. Do you think He denies Himself?
Jews are human. Agreed?
Jesus is God. Do you think He thinks Himself human, when He is God?
Jews will spend eternity in Hell, like all non-Christians. Agreed?
Jesus will spend eternity in Heaven. Do you think He will condemn Himself to Hell for failing to believe in Himself?
Would you care to reassert that Jesus is a Jew?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™ Minister to the Godless Savages in Hawaii It's a dirty job but someone has to do it.
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-18-2011, 06:44 AM
Why does it suck to be a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven
A wonderful gift for a girl or boy in your life:
haven't seen this at my corner store yet:
Revelations 6:16
"And said to the mountains and rocks,
Fall on us, and hide us from the face
of him that sitteth on the throne,
and from the wrath of the Lamb"
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Recovering Bastard Head of Landover Glee Club
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-18-2011, 07:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KamikazeTommy
Jesus was a Jew
At the time His name was actually pronounced, " Yeshua," and that is the name used in this article.That Yeshua was born Jewish is one of the least contested truths of the Bible. The very first verse of the New Covenant reads: The book of the genealogy of Messiah Yeshua ("Jesus Christ"), the son of David, the son of Abraham ( Matt. 1:1). Who were Abraham and David?
Abraham was the first Hebrew. God changed his name from Abram ( Gen. 17:5). In Gen. 14:13 he is called Abram the Hebrew. So we can see that Yeshua (Jesus) is descended from "Abram the Hebrew." Even to this day, Jews are also called "Hebrews", and the language of the Jews is "Hebrew."
Abraham and his descendants were given the unconditional covenant of the Promised Land ( Gen. 17:8) and the covenant of circumcision ( Gen. 17:10). Abraham is the father of the Jews ( Acts 3:12-25). Isaac was his son and Jacob was his grandson ( Matt. 1:2). Thus, Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob are known as the Patriarchs, the fathers of the Jews.
Jacob's name was changed by God to " Israel" ( Gen. 35:10-12) and he had twelve sons ( Gen. 35:23-26) from whom come the Twelve Tribes of Israel. All of their descendants are known collectively throughout the Bible as the Children of Israel ( Ex. 1:6-7).
One of those twelve sons was Judah ( Gen. 35:23, Matt. 1:2) and it is from his name that we get the word 'Jew'. Although Yehudah (Judah) was only one of the twelve, by 700 BCE, because of the course of Israel's history, the word Yehudee (Jew) came to mean any person descended from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob ( Jer. 34:9). So, for instance, Saul haShaliach (the Apostle Paul) was of the tribe of Benjamin ( Romans 11:1) yet he self-identified as a Jew ( Acts 22:3).
Nevertheless, according to the Bible, the Messiah must be descended from the tribe of Judah ( Gen. 49:10) as King David was ( 1Sam. 17:12, 1Ch. 28:4) and descended from King David himself ( 2Sam. 7:12-13, Isa. 9:6-7, Jer. 23:5-6). That is why the Messiah is called Son of David ( Matt. 21:9).
Yeshua (Jesus) is from the Tribe of Judah ( Heb. 7:14). His earthly father was descended from David ( Matt. 1:6-16) and His mother was as well ( Luke 1:27, 32-34, 3:23-31).
In addition, Yeshua was born King of the Jews ( Matt. 2:2). The King of the Jews must Himself be Jewish ( Deut. 17:15). His aunt Elizabeth was Jewish (a descendant of Aaron, Moses' brother) and His uncle Zacharia was a Jewish priest ( Luke 1:5, 36). Yeshua was circumcised according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:21, Lev. 12:2-3), and redeemed according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:22-23, Num. 18:15). His mother atoned according to Jewish law ( Luke 2:24, Lev. 12:6-8). He is called The Consolation of Israel ( Luke 2:25) and The Glory of Thy People Israel ( Luke 2:32). Jesus was born a Jew.
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Worst Jew joke EVER.
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Unsaved trash, abo squaw repenting for her sins
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Re: Holocaust Jokes -
01-18-2011, 07:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by barton
Why does it suck to be a black Jew?
You have to sit at the back of the oven
A wonderful gift for a girl or boy in your life:
haven't seen this at my corner store yet:
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Just when I think this place has hit rock bottom, you come up with something worse
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