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Default The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 10:37 AM

Few who visit our humble church can have failed to note how attractive, bright, intelligent and well-manner the Ladies of Landover are nor, and more importantly, how young they appear.

And why do they all look so young? The anti-ageing secret is something every good woman knows: housework.

Yes, housework! Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be! Cleanliness is next to godliness!

And does God ask that women do all the housework? Well, He knows best and He does!

He’s keeping you ladies young and beautiful. So if you’re as wrinkled as a prune and your good looks are disappearing down the drain, if the sight of you in the morning may make your husband shudder, read on…

Quote:

A brisk bout of spring cleaning may make you happier, while regular exercise in middle age can stave off the negative effects of ageing, research published today says.

Two new studies have added to the evidence on the benefits of taking exercise. The first showed how only 20 minutes of housework or gardening a week can reduce feelings of psychological distress.

Those who managed even more exercise each week or who took part in sports had their spirits lifted even further, the study showed. Although exercise is known to boost mental health, researchers from University College London wanted to find how long people should exercise, and what type was best.
They asked 19,842 men and women taking part in the Scottish Health Survey how much exercise, and what kind of activities, they did every week. People were also quizzed about their state of mind, with 3,200 members of the group – 16 per cent – found to be suffering stress or anxiety according to a commonly used mental health scale.

The study discovered that any form of daily physical activity was linked to lower levels of distress even when factors such as age and long-term health problems were taken into account.

The range of activities shown to improve mood included housework, gardening, walking and sports. Taking part in sports each week lowered the risk of distress the most, by 33 per cent, the study found. But even walking and domestic tasks such as housework and gardening reduced distress by up to 20 per cent.

Writing in the British Journal of Sports Medicine, the authors conclude: “Mental health benefits were observed at a minimal level of at least 20 minutes each week of any physical activity, with greater risk reduction for activity at a higher intensity.”

The authors also noted that exercise cut the risk of developing diseases such as heart disease and cancer, and also depression and dementia.,
A second study published in the same journal found that regular aerobic exercise could slow down so-called “biological ageing” by 10 or 12 years.
People may also be able to retain the ability to live independently for far longer if they exercise throughout middle age and into retirement, it found.
More than 20 years ago, experts from the University of Toronto suggested that one of the most vital factors influencing the quality of life in the very old was having enough “aerobic power” to allow independent living. Their new study examined how much influence aerobic training has on a person’s risk of becoming dependent. They said: “Aerobic training can boost aerobic power . . . potentially delaying the loss of independence by as much as 10 to 12 years.”
OK ladies, that is the secret of eternal youth – let’s get on with it!





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Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.

Last edited by Ezekiel Bathfire; 05-24-2008 at 09:08 PM.
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Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:19 PM

From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.


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Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Dances without Joy View Post
From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.
My husband Elmer told me that most of my household cleaning tools, such as toilet brushes, mops, and brooms are too small for his manly hands. I keep asking the folks at Wal-Mart if they have any Men's mops and they just give me a funny look. Anyway, Elmer is very busy working on his bass boat and keeping his guns in good condition.

PS I think oven cleaner might have some type of anti-wrinkle compound. Every time I get finished with the oven, my hands and face are puffy and pink Oh and that dizzy feeling is Heavenly!


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Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 12:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances without Joy View Post
From what I've seen, some of the Landover men could benefit from doing a bit of housework.
Really, what a glib statement. I will let you know missy that for my age I look very youthful indeed.

I also notice that your avatar does not show a genuine picture of yourself (unlike me). You hide behind a graven image of some monkey headed hindoo idol.

Why don't you post an image of your true likeness so we can be the judge of your lifestyle choices?




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says, "Suffer not a witch to live." Deuteronomy 18:10 says, "There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch."

Last edited by Herr_Doktor Phd.; 04-10-2008 at 12:49 PM. Reason: spelling
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Default Re: The Anti-Ageing Secrets of the Landover Ladies - 04-10-2008, 05:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire View Post
Few who visit our humble church can have failed to note how attractive, bright, intelligent and well-manner the Ladies of Landover are nor, and more importantly, how young they appear.

And why do they all look so young? The anti-ageing secret is something every good woman knows: housework.

Yes, housework! Are you surprised? Well, you shouldn’t be! Cleanliness is next to godliness!
Excellent post, Brother. And as much as it pains me to reprimand our Godly Sister Ann Coulter, a little housework would do her more good than her current beauty regimen.


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