Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children]
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Dennis Lukes's Avatar
Dennis Lukes Dennis Lukes is offline
Innkeeper for Christ
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Wall of Jesus True Christian™ Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Inn Keeper for Christ Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars QAnon Storm Chaser TC Bravery Stamp of Approval Outreach preacher Wrath of God Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Guns, Guts and GLORY! Trump of GOD Asked questions later Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 2,357
Join Date: Dec 2018
Location: Owning the Libs
Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dennis Lukes will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello there - 06-03-2022, 01:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Welcome dear, but just one Top Tip: never join a Church whose denomination you can't spell.
Is that why the Episcopalians' membership roster keeps shrinking?


I was sinking deep in sin far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more;
But the Master of the Sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I!
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
Romeo Rovagnati's Avatar
Romeo Rovagnati Romeo Rovagnati is offline
Jesuit Insurgency Operative
Forum Member

Hellbound Heathen Cathlick Eurotrash Messicant Italian Liar Perv Evil Devil's Trill Sonata Reaper Condemned Sinner Devil

 
Posts: 455
Join Date: Aug 2016
Location: The evil city of Rome in the evil country of Italy, who was once Holy
Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Romeo Rovagnati is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Hello there - 06-03-2022, 07:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merciful Rose View Post
I don't have a husband at present but I do live with my father if that means anything. If I need his permission, I'm pretty sure I already have it. So long as I do the housework he doesn't care what I do.
Mrs. Rose, are you aware that incest is not healthy? Do Protestants practice incest so much?


Anyway, welcome to this forum, my Lady. If you need question about the Catholic Church, I'm at your service
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
WWJDnow's Avatar
WWJDnow WWJDnow is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Australia Saved 1 Year Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once One Year/1000 posts Porn Resistant Pro-Life Bronze Tither Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus 2015 Witch Hunt Award Trump of GOD Asked questions later Persecuted Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Stamp of Approval Hands Off BFF of Jesus Polling for Christ Anti-Biden WWJD

 
Posts: 6,163
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Godless New York City
WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WWJDnow will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-03-2022, 10:51 PM

Welcome, Merciful Rose.

I am gladdened to hear that you have turned to the Lord, but you need to get yourself to a Bible-believing church:

And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works: Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching. Hebrews 10:24-25

If that is not physically possible, the next best thing is joining the 700 Club. They are strong on the Biblical principles of faith, family, gun rights, a strong national defense, low taxes, keeping women in the home where the Bible says they belong, and punishing homosexuals for their sins.


The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Merciful Rose's Avatar
Merciful Rose Merciful Rose is offline
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
 
Posts: 6
Join Date: May 2022
Location: On this doomed wet rock floating through space
Merciful Rose is under investigation -- suspected to be Unsaved Trash.
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-04-2022, 08:14 AM

Why am I being attacked for something I left behind? I left the Pentacostal church when I learnt they weren't biblical. I'm not connected to them anymore...

Okay, there's several Baptist churches around where I live. So I'll go out and investigate them. I'll let you know what I discover and decide.


A question though, I've read on here that God hates women. Why would he go to the trouble of creating something he hates?


Hello again Roland
I find my recipes [Cluck cluck cluck Deleted - Jeb]


In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.
Psalm 56:4

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 06-04-2022 at 01:03 PM. Reason: Do NOT encourage the Pastafarian
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,567
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-04-2022, 01:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merciful Rose View Post
A question though, I've read on here that God hates women. Why would he go to the trouble of creating something he hates?
If mere creation is something to brag about, then you've just said that women are on the same level as cockroaches, the Ebola virus, halitosis, and that little fish that swims up your peehole.

The Bible does NOT say that, however, it says that good women are rubies: Proverbs 31:10 . We love rubies, but we also keep them safe at home, unless they are attached to us with a short chain. That's no contradiction.


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Isabella White's Avatar
Isabella White Isabella White is offline
True Christian™ Icon of Feminine Virtue
 

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Anti-abortion True Christian Lady Cleanest Kitchen Trumpette True Christian Granny Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Real American™ Teabag Patriot Trump of GOD Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College Stamp of Approval Born again virgin Most Obedient Barney BFF of Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Rejoicing Cup of Jesus Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty GLORY Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 3,681
Join Date: Mar 2019
Location: Ungodly Buffalo, NY, MAGA USA
Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Isabella White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-04-2022, 01:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merciful Rose View Post
Why am I being attacked for something I left behind? I left the Pentacostal church when I learnt they weren't biblical. I'm not connected to them anymore...

Okay, there's several Baptist churches around where I live. So I'll go out and investigate them. I'll let you know what I discover and decide.
Oh, I am so pleased to learn that you have left the Pentecostal church, dear Miss Rose. I had forgotten to mention this in my earlier message, but your comment has reminded me to comment about this. You see, Dear, I was a Pentecostal once, too. My father was a minister. In the summertime, we traveled around this great land of , holding revival meetings, tent crusades, that sort of thing.

But, I am afraid that after dear Daddy went to be with the , I began to become tired of the snake-handling, and the strychnine cocktails, even though the promises us precious protection:

Mark 16:18 "They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover."

And, so, it pleases me that you, too, have sought out Baptist fellowship. You know, Dear, you will find none better than the church that you are visiting now: .

It is my prayer that you will read the blessed very carefully, and examine the many truths that are contained within this glorious Book. May bless you — richly — as you seek and serve here — at .




(Mrs.) Isabella White

Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the of "
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Faith_Machine's Avatar
Faith_Machine Faith_Machine is offline
Dyed-in-the-wool True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant True Republican The Lord’s Witness Wound Pro-Life Ex-liberal Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Flat Earth Tell her once Guns, Guts and GLORY! Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior TC Bravery True Christian Hotrodder Tagging for Jesus Paula Deen Negro Support Group Early riser Touched by Jesus 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mission to Korea Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Sheep Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Chili Chemtrail

 
Posts: 9,970
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: San Francisco, California
Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Faith_Machine will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-05-2022, 10:36 AM

Hello Vanessa, how nice to meet you!

Say, do you think you could send me some pictures of yourself?


It's always nice to be able to put a face to a name.


WARNING:
In accordance with article 7 of the Swaggart Amendment to the Landover Baptist Church Constitution, you are hereby notified that this forum user is a
REGISTERED SPIRITUAL PREDATOR, and prohibited from sending or receiving personal messages, text messages, or instant messages to forum users below the rank of True Christian™. This user is further prohibited from engaging with any persons in real-time audio or video "chats" via Web cams, Skype, Facetime, or any other Internet audio/video technology or service.
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Jeb Stuart Thurmond's Avatar
Jeb Stuart Thurmond Jeb Stuart Thurmond is offline
Didn't write the Bible, just obeys it
 

Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Saved 5 Years Gold Tither Heaven Bound TC Bravery TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Tagging for Jesus Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork True Republican Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Touched by Jesus Alternative Facts Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 6,567
Join Date: Jun 2007
Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jeb Stuart Thurmond will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-05-2022, 02:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Faith_Machine View Post
It's always nice to be able to put a face to a name.
Key word: FACE!

Because she's from the same country as Kim Kardashian, I must insist that any pictures be forward facing and from the waist up.


Disagree? By failing to register and debate me, you prove that liberals are factless frauds who only persuade through intimidation. To prove otherwise, debate me!
Got Questions? See Frequently Asked Questions, or use Forum Search, tag system, or our guides on Geography, History, Science, Comparative Religion, Civics, and Current Events.
Did I use a new word you've never heard? Definitions here. | Vote! Everything you need to vote here!

Last edited by Jeb Stuart Thurmond; 06-05-2022 at 04:09 PM.
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
Adam Fag's Avatar
Adam Fag Adam Fag is offline
Unsaved trash, some kind of fag
 

Full of it Caution - Poster is Crazy Kangi UFO Demonized

 
Posts: 552
Join Date: Jan 2012
Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.Adam Fag is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hello there - 06-05-2022, 04:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merciful Rose View Post
I guess I'm just of the mind that most aren't and I might get caught up in one that isn't and not know it. I still have my reservations about this forum too.
Perhaps I've become too skeptical and picky.
I've put you on my friends list. A rose is a nice thing, smells nice (not those ones they sell you in shops though!) but they do have spikes. That comes from sin, but how can a rose sin?

Thanks.


Proverbs 20:23 Divers weights are an abomination unto the LORD; and a false balance is not good.
Reply With Quote
(#30)
Old
Vengeance Puriel's Avatar
Vengeance Puriel Vengeance Puriel is offline
Striving in vain for the good ol' corteous Edwardian grace
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Friend of Jesus Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 333
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Pineville, NC
Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.Vengeance Puriel has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: Hello there [I'm a barren Armenian snake-handler who robs God of children] - 06-07-2022, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Merciful Rose View Post
Well I think it’s about time I introduced myself to you all. The name’s Vanessa and I’m rather intrigued by this forum so I thought I’d check it out.

I don’t attend a church at present since I learnt of all those false teachers running around these days and I was following a few. The bible does say in Timothy: “For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” I’m pretty much going to my bible for truth now.

My favourite bible verse is always changing. See my signature if you would like to know my current fave.

Despite being raised in a Christian home, I truly gave my life over to Jesus at the age of 14 at a church youth camp. Ain't much to tell about it.

Hello to you all and looking forward to meeting ya
Welcome to Gods favorite forum.


-Ps 25:10 All the paths of the LORD are mercy and truth unto such as keep his covenant and his testimonies.
-Ps 33:4 For the word of the LORD is right; and all his works are done in truth.
-James 2:10 For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
barren women, pentecostal gibberish, pentecostal snake cult, pentecostals, pentecostals are damned, pentecostals worship satan, robbing god

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved