Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident"
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Jedediah's Avatar
Jedediah Jedediah is offline
True Christian™ Creation Scientist
Fisher of Men
True Christian™

True Scientist™ Protected by JESUS True Christian™ Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Real American™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Ex-Gay Bronze Tither The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Jr. Pastor Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Christian Love One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ready for the Rapture Eats the Most Pork True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior TC Bravery Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus

 
Posts: 6,835
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Jedediah will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Thumbs down English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 05:58 AM

I guess when no pre-pubescent boys are available, vegetables will have to do the trick for these false-Christian degenerates.

Quote:
Originally Posted by linked article
The clergyman, in his 50s, told medical staff at Sheffield's Northern General Hospital that the accident was definitely not due to a sex game.

He had to undergo surgery to extract the spud from his backside, according to The Sun.

A&E nurse Trudi Watson told the paper: "He explained to me, quite sincerely, he had been hanging curtains naked in he kitchen when he fell backwards on to the kitchen table and on to a potato.

"But it's not for me to question his story."

She went on to reveal other objects removed from people's derriére, including a cucumber, a Russian doll and a carnation.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 06:14 AM

A six-pack and a potato--was he Irish?


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Chocolate Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 11,325
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 07:02 AM

Well, I never!!

Seriously, never.

Though I did once tear down a kitchen cabinet from the wall whilst naked. In my defense, it was very hot and I had no air-conditioning.Furthermore, when I have a bee in my bonnet regarding some household project or other, there is very little that can stop me.

I had to stand on the counter of the kitchen sink and sort of lean over as I was ripping out the cabinet over the refridgerator. Still, had I fallen, I truly believe that result would not have been some foreign object up my bum. I might very well have broken my neck, but as I harboured no lust in my heart for any members of the tuberous vegetable family, the Lord protected me.


Decorously Yours,

Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Zechariah Smyth's Avatar
Zechariah Smyth Zechariah Smyth is offline
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Tell her once Flat Earth Real American™ True Christian™ Christian Love The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tin Tither True Christian Provider™ award Porn Resistant Persecuted Pro-Life Teabag Patriot 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Ex-Gay Eats the Most Pork Saved 1 Year True Republican 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Babysitter Gunfest '14 Stamp of Approval Anti-sodomy Pancake Dinner Vickers Pastor Ezekiel Heaven Bound TC Bravery The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Lord’s Witness Wound Cup of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Life

 
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Zechariah Smyth will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 07:05 AM

I wonder how many potatoes he had placed strategically around the kitchen, just waiting for an "accident" to happen...
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:27 AM

I know how this can happen. I was working a week ago on one of the decorative fences that goes around the main house and the well


and I slipped off of the ladder and a bushel of corn got stuck in my rectum.
It happens more often than you'd imagine.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I know how this can happen. I was working a week ago on one of the decorative fences that goes around the main house and the well


and I slipped off of the ladder and a bushel of corn got stuck in my rectum.
It happens more often than you'd imagine.
So that's how the term "corn-holing" got started?


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:32 AM

Indeed Brother James. I remember when one of our congregation fell backwards onto a cucumber. Twice. These things do happen.

Still, it's pretty clear that with THIS guy it wasn't an accident. A french freedom fry I would have believed. But a whole potato?


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 10:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roberta View Post
A six-pack and a potato--was he Irish?
A vicar from Ida-ho?


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:02 AM

Let's do a limerick!

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
A vicar from Id-a-ho?
Fell backwards on the flo'


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:11 AM

He caught a spud


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 11:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
He caught a spud
In his gaping rose bud

Larni can finish


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 12:11 PM

And he lied to the nurse, f'sho
Posted via Mobile Device
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Roberta's Avatar
Roberta Roberta is offline
Anti La Leche League Organizer
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Christian Love Real American™ Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life True Christian Lady Virgin True Republican Most Obedient Super Soaker Baptism Award One Year/1000 posts True Christian Beauty Saved 1 Year Best stoning bucket Flat Earth Flat Earth A for Effort Teabag Patriot Hands Off

 
Posts: 1,807
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: VT--the Green Mountain State
Roberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureRoberta has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Niles View Post
And he lied to the nurse, f'sho
Posted via Mobile Device


Come climb my mountains.
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Smile Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 02:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Indeed Brother James. I remember when one of our congregation fell backwards onto a cucumber. Twice. These things do happen.

Still, it's pretty clear that with THIS guy it wasn't an accident. A french freedom fry I would have believed. But a whole potato?
After some careful checking, I have to agree with your wisdom once again. It is nearly impossible to insert a potato into a persons backside without considerable effort.
It is possible if the person has sat on one of those 'potato cannons' and suffers an accidental discharge of the weapon. My boys made a few of them a year or so back.
http://b.vimeocdn.com/ts/804/878/80487839_100.jpg
Notice how Cletus is holding it. It was the last time he fired it that way. Poor boy, been married three years now and no sons.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 03:21 PM

While the fact that were talking about a homer enabling Anglican makes me suspicious I would be believe. Gays go how of their way to set up little traps to get people to sodomize themselves. It was probably some gay parishioner of that Vicer who moved the potato into the danger zone and suggested doing the remodeling naked.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
Reply With Quote
(#16)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-28-2012, 04:43 PM

I figured that by now it would be one of their "sacraments."


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

Reply With Quote
(#17)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:44 PM

This was in my home town.
Reply With Quote
(#18)
Old
Dr Laurence Niles's Avatar
Dr Laurence Niles Dr Laurence Niles is offline
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Porn Resistant Pro-Life Christian Love One Year/1000 posts True Republican Ex-Brit Ex-eurotrash Eats the Most Pork Super Soaker Baptism Award Gold Tither True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor True Scientist™ Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Prayer Warrior Divorcee The Lord’s Witness Wound Punched the most queers Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD Pancake Dinner Pastor Ezekiel Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Mission to Korea Probing for Jesus ex-sheep-shagger Asked questions later Crown of Incorruptibility GLORY Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Dr Laurence Niles will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catherine Moore View Post
This was in my home town.
No doubt you moved south as soon as you found the railway station.

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Reply With Quote
(#19)
Old
Catherine Moore's Avatar
Catherine Moore Catherine Moore is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound

 
Posts: 315
Join Date: Feb 2012
Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.Catherine Moore has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-30-2012, 10:53 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurence Niles View Post
No doubt you moved south as soon as you found the railway station.

YIC
I was under the impression the South was full of homers and shandy drinkers. I'd half assumed even acknowledging the existence of the part of the country below about Leicester was sinful.

Thank you for the correction.
Reply With Quote
(#20)
Old
Wide-Open's Avatar
Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: English Vicar Had Potato Shoved Up Ass "By Accident" - 03-31-2012, 12:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
I figured that by now it would be one of their "sacraments."
It does give a new meaning to the term "holy" sacrament.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
angelicans, catholics, catholics are not christian, england:cars on the wrong side, object insertion, potato sex, radical gay agenda

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved