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Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!)

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Default Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE! - 10-04-2006, 02:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I have to say, shopping for Joo relatives like mine is a lot easier than for Mary-Worshipping ones like Sister Rain's. I just have to sent them each a shiny penny and they're happy all year long. I usually also send them a card along the lines of "let us all celebrate the birthday of the Sweet Baby Jesus, remember Him? The fellow who died on the cross for all our sins, wasn't He wonderful? Wasn't killing Him a terrible thing to do? Wouldn't it be a good idea to repent and allow His Love into your hook-nosed little heart? Love, your son."
Bro. T, this gives me a Revelation: Brother Remy's thread, "Ask an ex-negro" was so wildly popular....perhaps you could start something like an "Ask the Davening Jooze" thread? I understand you have had some personal experience with these "people." As did I, that awful night Pastor Kenneth shoved me out of the Ministry Van in the Killcats Mountains in Zoo York.

But I don't want to talk about that Right now, because you know how people are, once they think they are sniffing out some Scandal, next thing you know it's going to be all about THAT TIME I SHOWERED WITH JESUS AND YOU WOULD CERTAINLY THINK THAT OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR WOULD WEAR A MORE SOPHISTICATED-SMELLING COLOGNE!!!

Anyway, how about it? I get to go first: What is "gefilte Fish" made from? It looks like dessicated sweatsocks to me.

SUV
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Default Re: Post your Christmas Shopping problems HERE! - 10-04-2006, 02:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Anyway, how about it? I get to go first: What is "gefilte Fish" made from? It looks like dessicated sweatsocks to me.

SUV
Pastor Al had an excellent explanation of this on one of the old boards. I can't remember it exactly, but it basically involves going to the garden, taking a slug, rolling it out flat with a rolling pin and dying it orange. BEWARE!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-04-2006, 02:52 PM

Oooo Oooooo ME! I have a question!

Why do yids wear those curly que side burns and have long smelly beards?

Also, they all look like they reek with BO.

AND why do the women yids have such GIAGANTIC rear ends? Sometimes they are almost as big as a nigras.

Curious, Sister Thumper




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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-04-2006, 03:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Oooo Oooooo ME! I have a question!

Why do yids wear those curly que side burns and have long smelly beards?
The sideburns are to give their master Satan something to hang onto while he sodomises them. The beards were grown as a sort of survival strategy, to try and trick the Mudswine into thinking that they're fellow moondogs, and stop them killing them. Naturally, it failed, because Musselmen will kill anything that moves.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTB
Also, they all look like they reek with BO.
That's because they do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BTB
AND why do the women yids have such GIAGANTIC rear ends? Sometimes they are almost as big as a nigras.

Curious, Sister Thumper
To distract attention from the size of their noses.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-04-2006, 03:24 PM

Funny you mention this. My family has a bit of an issue this time of year since my sister married that filthy Christ killing Joo Abraham. Get this; as a compromise between my Catlicker parents and that Joo Abraham they burn twelve Christmas in the yard.

Well this year they want to visit but I am putting up with none of this pagan Christmas tree nonsense (what's next Easter Bunnies?) I have told my sister she better change to those burning Christmas trees to burning cross. She’s whining about “that’s a hate crime” nonsense but I am being firm with her.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-04-2006, 08:52 PM

Brother Temperance, I have an elderly Jooish mother for a neighbour - she nearly died last year after starving herself for 32 days, should her mouth be filled with food in the event of her son phoning. Why are Joo mothers such martyrs ... are they suffering from a form of crucifiction-envy? Then again, Joo women are so domineering that everyone else suffers along with them, so perhaps I'm on the wrong track here.


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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 12:36 AM

Hmm. This question has been bugging me for some time...

....is it true that every joo has a bag of gold shekels hidden on their person at all times? I've heard that the real leprechaun legend of a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow is based on the very real joo gold.

Also I've heard that if you steal a joo's gold he will hunt you down by listening for the distinguished jingling sound of his own shekels in your pockets. This, I hear, is a heightened version of the same sense they use to hear pennies drop and that each joo can tell the sound of their joo gold from another joo's.

Is there any truth to this?
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 03:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
Brother Temperance, I have an elderly Jooish mother for a neighbour - she nearly died last year after starving herself for 32 days, should her mouth be filled with food in the event of her son phoning. Why are Joo mothers such martyrs ... are they suffering from a form of crucifiction-envy? Then again, Joo women are so domineering that everyone else suffers along with them, so perhaps I'm on the wrong track here.

"Everyone else suffers along with them"......I didn't realise you were Jewish,Mrs R.


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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 03:56 AM

I've always heard that joos have horns and a long pointy tail when they are born. They get the horns filed down, and keep their demonic tails tucked inside their pants in order to try and pass as White. Is this true?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 04:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
"Everyone else suffers along with them"......I didn't realise you were Jewish,Mrs R.
Dear Bane of My Existence, if I were an elderly YID you wouldn't get a word in edgewise, let alone have finished your sentence.


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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 02:18 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
Brother Temperance, I have an elderly Jooish mother for a neighbour - she nearly died last year after starving herself for 32 days, should her mouth be filled with food in the event of her son phoning. Why are Joo mothers such martyrs ... are they suffering from a form of crucifiction-envy? Then again, Joo women are so domineering that everyone else suffers along with them, so perhaps I'm on the wrong track here.
As far as I know, it's a consequence of the way that, when that lazy Jew Mary got knocked up, she was such a bad mother that she barely even noticed when a crowd of wild Joos murdered her Son, thus condeming all Semites to eternal damnation. In a wild attempt at overcompensating, all subsequent Joo mothers behave as though their son is, in fact, the King of Kings and Prince of Peace, just to be on the safe side.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy LeBeau
Hmm. This question has been bugging me for some time...

....is it true that every joo has a bag of gold shekels hidden on their person at all times? I've heard that the real leprechaun legend of a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow is based on the very real joo gold.

Also I've heard that if you steal a joo's gold he will hunt you down by listening for the distinguished jingling sound of his own shekels in your pockets. This, I hear, is a heightened version of the same sense they use to hear pennies drop and that each joo can tell the sound of their joo gold from another joo's.

Is there any truth to this?
In a word, yes. It is a little-known fact that, when Hezbollah captured 2 Israeli soldiers earlier this year, the avaricious Mudslums also seized three shekels in the same raid. The Joos could have written off the loss of the soldiers, but the thought of those shiny pennies disappearing into Lebanon was too much to bear... the rest is history.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
I've always heard that joos have horns and a long pointy tail when they are born. They get the horns filed down, and keep their demonic tails tucked inside their pants in order to try and pass as White. Is this true?
This story is completely false. In fact, the reverse is true - since they have neither horns nor tails, they always feel horribly out of place at gatherings of Satan's minions. This is why they wear hats (to cover up their shamefully horn-free scalps), and they have also been known to tuck their massively over-sized Semitic tallywhackers between their legs, in order to impersonate a tail. Next question, please.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 02:25 PM

how are woman that is Jew feel about for dating Japanese? How are Jew feel about Japanese in general speaking?
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 02:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi View Post
how are woman that is Jew feel about for dating Japanese? How are Jew feel about Japanese in general speaking?
Naturally, a great deal of Jewesses, for one reason or another, go insane very early on in life. Some of them begin to subsist on a diet consisting entirely of pork products, or equally odd and ungodly behaviours. So I suppose it's not beyond the bounds of possibility that, one day, a Jewess, in a fit of insanity, could conceivably fornicate with a Jappo.
Generally speaking, 99% of Jews are liberals/communists, which means they hate anything decent. So most Jews don't really have a problem with the nips.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 02:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi View Post
how are woman that is Jew feel about for dating Japanese? How are Jew feel about Japanese in general speaking?
Feel free to ignore this little Homer! Bro. T and proceed directly to MY next question: Why do Joo "Men" give thanx to their "God" every morning for not having been Born a women? Don't they know that, even as "Men," they are just as pityful?

Then again there's the Issue of how the "women" shave their heads that you might wish to address. (Anything to ignore "Hiroshima" until he is willing to Come to Jesus.)

SUV
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 03:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Feel free to ignore this little Homer! Bro. T and proceed directly to MY next question: Why do Joo "Men" give thanx to their "God" every morning for not having been Born a women? Don't they know that, even as "Men," they are just as pityful?
Because Joo women don't get circumcised. Since humans naturally find Joos repulsive, they tend to avoid their, um, filthy parts as much as possible, so for many Joo men, the "bris" is the highlight of their entire lives.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
Then again there's the Issue of how the "women" shave their heads that you might wish to address. (Anything to ignore "Hiroshima" until he is willing to Come to Jesus.)

SUV
Do you mean how or why?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 04:14 PM

I mean the heads of these females look like the cueballs on the pool table of that one un$avED place I once Witnessed (at).

Is this Correct?: They have their heads shaved bald so that they will not be Attractive to any Man but their Husband. Then they put a big fancy wig over the injury, which others see them wearing all day, but at night who's the only one to see this Ghastly sight but....their Husband???

No wonder they refer to this variety of Joo "woman" as "Doxy."

However do these wild & crazy Joos ever ProCreate???

SUV
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-05-2006, 10:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
and they have also been known to tuck their massively over-sized Semitic tallywhackers between their legs, in order to impersonate a tail. Next question, please.
Yes, this makes sense.

When I was in high school this group of isreali students (on some kinda cultural exchange program I guess) came to our school. I happened to notice the thick round backside below the tiny waste of the joowesses. Although it shames me to admit it, I was a nigra at the time and ended up fornicating with one of the joowesses (they probably killed her if they found out). It only stands to reason that if the joowess has a nigress butt the joo male would have a nigra tallywahacker... as punishment?

Did this big bottom/big tallywhacker phenomenon occur before or after the joos crucified our Lord and Savour, thus damning themselves to be eternally hated by all mankind and loved only by Satan's enormously huge spiked tallywhacker in the Hereafter?
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-06-2006, 05:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Rogers View Post
Dear Bane of My Existence, if I were an elderly YID you wouldn't get a word in edgewise, let alone have finished your sentence.

WOOHOO! Yay,a new title from Mrs R!
AND she called me "dear"


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-06-2006, 11:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
I mean the heads of these females look like the cueballs on the pool table of that one un$avED place I once Witnessed (at).

Is this Correct?: They have their heads shaved bald so that they will not be Attractive to any Man but their Husband. Then they put a big fancy wig over the injury, which others see them wearing all day, but at night who's the only one to see this Ghastly sight but....their Husband???

No wonder they refer to this variety of Joo "woman" as "Doxy."

However do these wild & crazy Joos ever ProCreate???

SUV
You are forgetting that Joos have no concept of morality. They actually find bald women very attractive, and shave their heads so as to tempt people other than their husbands into fornicating with them, and hopefully lead True Christians onto the road to damnation. What a world.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Remy
Did this big bottom/big tallywhacker phenomenon occur before or after the joos crucified our Lord and Savour, thus damning themselves to be eternally hated by all mankind and loved only by Satan's enormously huge spiked tallywhacker in the Hereafter?
After, I believe. Next!


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: By popular demand: Ask an ex-yid - 10-06-2006, 04:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
WOOHOO! Yay,a new title from Mrs R!
AND she called me "dear"
I can think of a few suitable titles for you!

Perhaps she meant Deer not Dear, because of those 2 Horns poking out from your head.



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