[Johny Joe Hold]

Decade after decade we see show biz preachers and ambitious churches study what we do here at Landover Baptist and try to compete. There are many examples, like Creflo Dollar, who tries to have a larger airplane than that of Pastor Zeke. We don't keep our formula for success a secret. We put it right here on our site where others can try to make a success of their own sorry churches.

One of our reasons for success is attracting the right kind of members. We want white well-heeled members who will bring in others just like themselves. I read recently other mega churches have picked up on this and are themselves trying to create the image of the white wealthy church we enjoy here at Landover. Many have a television presence and want the congregation to appear white and wealthy even if it is not.

To do this they seat the most attractive people in seats panned by cameras. People with canes and wheel chairs are seated out of camera range. These churches are dishonest because they advertise diversity, "all are welcome," but present a different image on screens.

These churches will not compete well with Landover Baptist because we are true to our word. We do not practice diversity. People in wheel chairs are not moved to the back of the church because they are not in our church.

Megachurches Keeping Up Appearances? Poor and Disabled Churchgoers May Not Be Blessed With a Front Seat (msn.com)

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Creflo Dollar

(stop it.. stop it..)

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I know some other members feel differently, but when lesser folks appropriate rich white culture I feel blessed as imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Ephesians 5:1-2
Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.

Philippians 3:17
Brethren, be followers together of me, and mark them which walk so as ye have us for an ensample.

With the skin bleaching, obesity belts and attempts to walk without a pimp limp, they aspire to be like us. Unfortunately, the hardest thing for them to do - apparently - is follow the exact and literal word of God from whence our blessed white skin and private healthcare come. PRAY! TITHE! WAIT! God may bless you or perhaps your children or their children.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Decade after decade we see show biz preachers and ambitious churches study what we do here at Landover Baptist and try to compete. There are many examples, like Creflo Dollar, who tries to have a larger airplane than that of Pastor Zeke. We don't keep our formula for success a secret. We put it right here on our site where others can try to make a success of their own sorry churches.

These churches will not compete well with Landover Baptist because we are true to our word. We do not practice diversity. People in wheel chairs are not moved to the back of the church because they are not in our church.

Megachurches Keeping Up Appearances? Poor and Disabled Churchgoers May Not Be Blessed With a Front Seat (msn.com)

Amen, dear Brother Mayor Hold! Those other churches are all what the youngsters call "wannabes". They "wannabe" [want to be] like our own glorious . But, almost anybody can tell the difference — quite easily — between the real thing and a cheap imitation.

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Creflo Dollar

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

(stop it.. stop it..)

And, as our beloved Sister Mitza has so graciously shown, some of those other preachers are very amateur-ish in their delivery. Is it any wonder that that comes to mind when thinking of the likes of Creflo Dollar? (I'm quite surprised, I must say, that Creflo did not change his surname to Dollars. That way, he could have written his name as Creflo Dollar$!)

And, as for the jet aeroplanes that other pastors have; well, again, they are trying to bring competition to our lovely , but to no avail. Take, for instance, the very sad gimmick that the preacher in the following video uses to get around to see his flock. How third-rate is this poor and shoddy attempt to compete with and his beautiful jet aeroplanes?

[WWJDnow]

I want to make it clear that the Landover Baptist Church does not, has never, and will never seat Church members based on physical attractiveness. That is a sick practice that would make Jesus weep. Every white person, regardless of what he or she looks like, has an equal claim on salvation through God's grace.

At LBC, we seat based on tithing levels. So double diamond-level tithers sit in front along with visiting Republican politicians, conservative celebrities, and other dignitaries, just the way God wants it.

Moreover, our pastors do not fly to the pulpit on ziplines. They arrive at church in their luxury sportscars and chauffeured limosines, then take private elevators to move around the building. Our God is not a God of gimmicks.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by WWJDnow

I want to make it clear that the Landover Baptist Church does not, has never, and will never seat Church members based on physical attractiveness. That is a sick practice that would make Jesus weep. Every white person, regardless of what he or she looks like, has an equal claim on salvation through God's grace.
At LBC, we seat based on tithing levels. So double diamond-level tithers sit in front along with visiting politicians and other dignitaries, just the way God wants it.

Your honesty reflects the integrity we share and Landover Baptist. We don't admit people with deformities and wheelchairs and then hide them in the back row. We don't let them in. We don't hide people who can't afford to dress to the nines, they don't get in either.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Your honesty reflects the integrity we share and Landover Baptist. We don't admit people with deformities and wheelchairs and then hide them in the back row. We don't let them in. We don't hide people who can't afford to dress to the nines, they don't get in either.

Brother Mayor, there is no discrimination. The rules are the same for everyone - simply climb the stairs and donate a minimum of $2500/mo for tin status, or whatever you choose - be it silver, gold or platinum. Democrats would insist on patronizing folks by treating them as lesser and giving them things they haven't earned.

[Uncle Rutherford]

Just about the only thing worse than a LBC copycat is an unsaved Nigra pretending he’s as high and mighty as a TRULY BORN WHITE Christian True Christian man. I’ve seen a few of them in the outskirts down by my cabin. They don’t seem to be too smart though as I always see them running AWAY from Freehold at night.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford

Just about the only thing worse than a LBC copycat is an unsaved Nigra pretending he’s as high and mighty as a TRULY BORN WHITE Christian True Christian man. I’ve seen a few of them in the outskirts down by my cabin. They don’t seem to be too smart though as I always see them running AWAY from Freehold at night.

Uncle Rutherford--You are our outstanding graduate of the exNegro program at Landover Baptist. That Negroes who live in the bottomland flee at night from Freehold is not necessarily what we who run the city want. We would like them to apply for jobs such as the one you nobly carry out for Pastor Zeke.

And of course, tithing is important. Some mega churches like us have done well with celebrity members who are not white. Really, I don't see a problem with retired basketball player Shaquille O'Neal coming to Landover. He is now listed at $400 million. No doubt he would have some sin in his background that would have to be resolved.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford

Just about the only thing worse than a LBC copycat is an unsaved Nigra pretending he’s as high and mighty as a TRULY BORN WHITE Christian True Christian man. I’ve seen a few of them in the outskirts down by my cabin. They don’t seem to be too smart though as I always see them running AWAY from Freehold at night.

! Brother Mayor Hold! Brother Dr. Toole! Are we sure that we have enough dogs patrolling the premises at night? We cannot be too careful!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

! Brother Mayor Hold! Brother Dr. Toole! Are we sure that we have enough dogs patrolling the premises at night? We cannot be too careful!

Thanks for raising this issue, Sister Isabella. I have taken liberty to fastrack an order for 7 of the most vicious dogs for grounds security. I trust this will solve our security problem. Pie snatching has thankfully been down in recent months but come holiday season our neighbors in Des Moinoes will be crawling our streets begging for candy (not sending their best). Roaming dogs will fix this.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Observed in Post #7
treating them as lesser [by] giving them things they haven't earned.

Originally Predicted in Post #11
crawling our streets begging for candy

Satan will be getting excited as savages gear up to celebrate his birthday. There are two reasons. Firstly, deception: he doesn't have a birthday because he wasn't born. This is a bathetic attempt to take things he's heard others say (about Jesus) and apply them to his own cause. Secondly, maleficence: not everyone is persuaded by his message yet. October has been hijacked to get heathens, witches, pagans and the like parading their proclivities in a "fun" style with vibrant fabric themes (such as green and orange zigzags, purple stockings, fluttering aquamarine bat wings of chiffon stretched across a rattan frame, ruby red spiral hat, any or all of which could be luminous)

prowling to seek new recruits for the evil one. Could we prepare some literature explaining about God and offering an alternative to the ruby red spiral of destruction? Short video recordings, simple text presentations on a format suited to devices aspiring barbarians prefer? One important message is Harm Done by consuming stuff handed out unearned and the Enduring Benefits of abstaining from every pagan celebration.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Allow me to mention an aspect of how Landover Baptist presents itself to the broader public. We at Landover Baptist do not show fake righteousness or insincere enthusiasm. When Pastor Zeke digs deep and builds to his dramatic conclusion (sinners are headed for hell) we in the pews feel it. All of us, including Uncle Rutherford, leap to our feet in applause. Those watching live feeds need to see and feel the same thing.

That is why we need to be careful about who we let in. Even with $400 million, Shaquille O'Neal would not been an asset to us if he nodded off during the sermon. Worse yet would be an eye roll.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Allow me to mention an aspect of how Landover Baptist presents itself to the broader public. We at Landover Baptist do not show fake righteousness or insincere enthusiasm. When Pastor Zeke digs deep and builds to his dramatic conclusion (sinners are headed for hell) we in the pews feel it. All of us, including Uncle Rutherford, leap to our feet in applause. Those watching live feeds need to see and feel the same thing.

That is why we need to be careful about who we let in. Even with $400 million, Shaquille O'Neal would not been an asset to us if he nodded off during the sermon. Worse yet would be an eye roll.

Amen, dear Brother Mayor Hold, and again, I say Amen! You are so correct here. At , the servants of the are not like those other lukewarm, "Christian-in-name-only" types that you will find at other, so-called evangelical churches. When it comes down to following Almighty and obeying the words within blessed , it will be very hard — virtually impossible, even — to find people who do it better than those of us at .

Those other watered-down churches are full of hypocrites: people who might have an appearance of holiness, but inwardly they are anything other than holy.

Matthew 15:7-9:
7 Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,
8 This people draweth nigh unto me with their mouth, and honoreth me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.
9 But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.

Matthew 23:27 "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men's bones, and of all uncleanness."

Yes, indeed; those other churches are full of "dead men's bones, and all of uncleanness", just as declared. Now, I won't name any names in particular, but I shall just leave this here, for your prayerful consideration.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

What's all that smoke? Is the back of his shirt on fire?

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor

What's all that smoke? Is the back of his shirt on fire?

I believe that the fire of the was there to remind Mr. Falwell of his impending judgment, dear Sister Mitza.

II Samuel 22:9 "There went up a smoke out of nostrils, and fire out of mouth devoured: coals were kindled by it."

It's just a taste of what awaits that hypocrite when he stands before in the Halls of Judgment!

II Corinthians 5:10 "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad."

Revelation 15:8 "And the temple was filled with smoke from the glory of , and from power; and no man was able to enter into the temple, till the seven plagues of the seven angels were fulfilled."

[MitzaLizalor]

Thank you for quoting King David. I had not thought nostrils were involved in this case. You know, I was witnessing to a pagan the other day and wondered if her particular version was a corrupted form of Christianity or, alternatively, had never been Christian to start with. She said that David was the first cosmonaut.

She said, “David said, ‘In my distress I called to Yahweh and to my God I cried; from his Temple he heard my voice, my cry came to his ears. Then the earth quivered and quaked, the foundations of the heavens trembled (they quivered because he was angry) from his nostrils a smoke ascended, and from his mouth a fire that consumed (live embers were kindled at it) - He bent the heavens and came down, a dark cloud under his feet; he mounted a cherub and flew, and soared on the wings of the wind.’”

No doubt concealing my surprise was poorly done, eliciting a verbose explanation which is précised below. Her quote seemed familiar and your reference reminded me so I looked it up and it was. Although not a recommended source, the nostril detail is much the same – but that was the least of my worries. In reverse order, the wings of the wind is apparently a jet engine. I mentioned that cosmonauts are not supposed to use jet engines and was immediately corrected: “It includes rockets.” The cherub here would be an aircraft, since it flies and carries a passenger. I gather it's supposed to be some sort of shuttle, possibly launched from a longer range vehicle which bent the heavens and came down. I wondered why it would generate a dark cloud under his feet if it used spacetime distortion? “Don't be ridiculous! That's just for touchdown so it doesn't warp everyone watching its arrival.” No wonder the earth quivered and quaked if Elon Musk's efforts are anything to go by (I suggested) which was the wrong thing to say – and I got a very full and forthright explanation of my error which needn't be repeated here.

Whether or not King David had radiotelecommunications with the mothership, perhaps not knowing what it was, and by now I knew better than to suggest direct brainwave monitors requiring no input from David due to quantum nanotubules, (yes I've heard this stuff before from some other pagans, French, they had a kiosk abroad and cranks generally are highly critical of one another's absurdities so I didn't say anything) the main point is that when God flew by mounting a cherub, He was bringing aid to where it was needed most. Christians do the same thing. And although Pastors don't mount cherubs to get there, aircraft serve the same purpose and what greater need is there today than for The Gospel to be heard in often quite distant places? A phone call or other message, with transport ready to take off on short notice, brings that ministry where it's most needed at any time.

How unlike those meretricious charlatans gadding about in down-market models because they'd rather skim a treasury for their own benefit than see God glorified in the way He prefers so well exemplified in David:

[King David speaking] The Spirit of the LORD spake by me, and his word was in my tongue. The God of Israel said, the Rock of Israel spake to me, He that ruleth over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God. And he shall be as the light of the morning, when the sun riseth, even a morning without clouds; as the tender grass springing out of the earth by clear shining after rain.

The charlatans get a mention too.

But the sons of Belial shall be all of them as thorns thrust away, because they cannot be taken with hands: but the man that shall touch them must be fenced with iron and the staff of a spear; and they shall be utterly burned with fire in the same place.


II Samuel 23:2, 3, 4, 6-7

[Johny Joe Hold]

In a related story, President Trump does not want to see sick or wounded veterans in front of his events. During his 2020 campaign he complained about an unattractive guy in a military uniform in a wheelchair. Why would anyone want to look at a loser?

‘Nobody Wants To See That’: Trump Accused of Losing it Over Wounded Veteran Being Featured at Event (msn.com)

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

In a related story, President Trump does not want to see sick or wounded veterans in front of his events. During his 2020 campaign he complained about an unattractive guy in a military uniform in a wheelchair. Why would anyone want to look at a loser?

‘Nobody Wants To See That’: Trump Accused of Losing it Over Wounded Veteran Being Featured at Event (msn.com)

Well, I do not think anybody can blame President Trump for doing that, dear Brother Mayor Hold. Oh, I know that the LIE-berals will try to make a mountain out of a mole hill over this, and it would not surprise me if this veteran had, at one time or another, voted for the DEMON-rats. But, did he ever get involved in public speaking events to support our beloved President Trump? Is he currently actively working with other veterans to showcase the truths and honesty to , so that people will all realize that there is only Donald J. Trump to consider for the 2024 Presidency? I suspect not.

What that veteran should be doing is learning from the younger warriors — the true fighters who are so gallantly defending President Trump; such as the brave, young man here:

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

What's that square thing?