[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Time for the yearly popularity poll: who is your favorite Pastor?

1st prize is a fully paid up trip to the Philippines, same as last year.

[Dennis Lukes]

Hmm... I'd have to go with Pastor Zeke. I've only ever seen his sermons via the pay-per-view livestreams on the LBC intranet server, but even through a computer screen he's mesmerizing. Your hairs stand up and your blood rushes as he evangelizes and testifies, cursing out the devil and glorifying God. To see him in person must be electrifying, like watching Jesus Christ himself preaching 2,000 years ago with your own eyes. I've looked far and wide for another comparable orator and nobody else even comes close to Ezekiel Flint (grace be upon him).

This guy is a distant second:

[Johny Joe Hold]

I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

I have a definite criterion for passing judgement on pastors. They have to have the hammer down on sin. We all measure our lives by how successful we have been at pushing away sin. We need the help of a fire breathing sin hater. That is why Pastor Zeke is my favorite.

Brother Mayor, are there any sins in particular that the flock needs to concentrate on? With the new street cameras you must have evidence advice on so many ranking members of local government. God forbid if they were to violate your personal directives.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Street cameras are useful in spotting certain kinds of sins, especially the sins Pastor Zeke hates the most.

Here is a demonstration of what Freehold PD watches for.

The Birdcage (4/10) Movie CLIP - Walking Like John Wayne (1996) HD - YouTube

[WWJDnow]

Pastor Ezekiel Flint was there with me when I was saved. He prayed and laid his hands upon me; that's when I came to realize the immense burst of pleasure that comes with forming a personal relationship with God.

Pastor Zeke is the holiest man I have ever known, and he delivers powerful sermons that save sinners in droves. He's not afraid to get his hands dirty in the service of the Lord, either: The good Pastor jets worldwide to spread the Good News of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, taking a particular interest in converting the peoples of tropical islands and all-year beach resort communities around the world during the long Iowa winter. And he is the most important of President Trump's spiritual advisors. Who do you think told the President about hydroxychloroquine, ivermectin, and intravenous bleach as treatments for COVID?

Pastor Deacon Fred, also of our beloved Landover Baptist Church is definitely number two, followed closely by our own Pastor Ezekiel Bathfire.

Jesus is a distant fourth.

[Romeo Rovagnati]

I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.

[WWJDnow]

Originally Posted by Romeo Rovagnati

I have to go with Pastor Zeke, even tough the Pastor of Mankind is definitely the Pope.

To Catholics, "Pastor of Mankind" is code for "gay priest." But, for all his many flaws, I don't think Pope Francis is a homo. The homo was Benedict.

[James Hutchins]

Pastor Ezekiel Flint hands down.


That man has touched me in an a manner that I would never of thought possible, waking feelings and senses way down deep inside me. His penetration of my soul during days long Prayer Sessions©, leaving me a sweaty raw mass of a man prostrated before Him. Well worth the $35,000 'donation' to the Pastors Discretionary fund.

As the kids today say 'He gave it to me good!'

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

With 110% of the votes in I'm just tallying up the final count, including a few mail-in ballots from areas without internet. It's a landslide for Pastor Zeke, again! Congratulations. A few "joke" ballots with write-in candidates (Mickey Mouse, Creflo Dollar, Karmela Harris) were destroyed per protocol.

The Pastor has left already for the Philippines on his Winter sabbatical so for his prize we will pick up the tab - bon voyage, Sir - this one's on us.

[James Hutchins]

I do not get it. It is like 'Who is my favorite God?'

There is only one God and one favorite Pastor. Pastor Ezekiel Flint.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I think what I most admire about Pastor Zeke is that his accomplishments are not necessarily tied to worldly deeds. His vapor is enough. In fact, he has people to bring vapor. You know there is substance behind it. KEEP VOTING!

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Street cameras are useful in spotting certain kinds of sins, especially the sins Pastor Zeke hates the most.

Here is a demonstration of what Freehold PD watches for.

The Birdcage (4/10) Movie CLIP - Walking Like John Wayne (1996) HD - YouTube

Thank you so very much, dear Brother Mayor Hold, for mentioning about the street cameras catching disgusting, debauched sins, such as those that are shown in the video clip that you've so kindly provided.

I just hope that the street cameras will soon be everywhere in Freehold. With all of the nauseating drag queen/trans/LGBT sinning that goes on, it wouldn't surprise me if any of those reprobates try getting through our gates and causing trouble. Why, the very idea of men masquerading and performing as women turns my stomach to no end! Surely, we can count on being safe from this sort of revolting, hideous thing, can we not?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Covfefe! The poll results are most encouraging. I told me 14-yo Filipino 'ouseboys that they were free to vote as they felt a-pleasin' and y'all can see the result here.

This means that the recent more frequent tithing schedule has been favorably received and we'll continue to upgrade your tithing schemes to ensure the continuous renovation of the Flint Mansion as the bestest and mostest impressive Pastor residence evah! This will lead more and more homers and harlots to the bosom of JHC! Gonna celebrate this with me 'ouseboys tonight by an extended frolicking session PRAISING JHC before the nightly confessions and floggings in case someone 'as sinned! Loverly!