[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I was driving home this evening after sharing a couple of bottles of 2016 Château des Bachelards Comtesse de Vazeilles Fleurie Le Clos with friends. It's not bad, prefer the 2011 myself.

Anyhow, at the intersection where it splits into 5 lines then back to 3 in quick succession, I had to make a quick decision. A cyclist was merging into my lane about 2 car lengths ahead - I could make it, but something in my brain told me to yield. This act of grace saved the cyclist's life. I'd like to say he was grateful in his tight spandex outfit pulled taut at the crotch - like mystery lumps of cancer - but I can't.

The cyclist proceeded to throw the middle finger at me continuously for 7 miles as I rode his tail up the hill. It was only when I accelerated up the inside at my exit - shaving 20 milliseconds - that I realized how blessed I am. I saved a man's life.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I only approve of exercise bikes that my houseboys (the 14-yo Filipinos) use to keep up with the strenuous tasks that they happily and eagerly perform for me. I'll send a prayer to JHC to ensure that the cyclist who insulted you will suffer for eternity in Hellfire

However, why would you purchase such cheap wine with negligible bouquet? Was it for cooking or enematous consumption? If I may and I may, I'd suggest a Jeroboam of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1945.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Dr. Toole, I'm sure you would agree most cyclists are atheists. Their spandex shorts always raises questions about what is called in polite circles, "gender uncertainty." Your kindness in not harming this ungrateful lout is praiseworthy. It might mention you were also practical. Crashing into a bicycle will leave unsightly scratches on an expensive vehicle. Don't ask why I know that to be true.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

It is the mindset of the cyclist that annoys me. They consider themselves “pedestrians of enhanced mobility and privilege.” They seem to think that they have some rights on the road. They have never had a driver’s test, they have little regard for rules or traffic signals, they have no insurance, their bikes are not regularly tested and yet, they creep slowly along taking up valuable asphalt better used for those helping the economy.

A few months back one of my trucks from the meat-packing business was badly delayed when it overtook a cyclist and turned right. Fortunately, one of my managers was there to verify that the cyclist had speeded up as the truck tried to pass him.

If The Lord sees fit to give Moses another set of messages, I hope they’ll all be about bicycles.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

However, why would you purchase such cheap wine with negligible bouquet? Was it for cooking or enematous consumption? If I may and I may, I'd suggest a Jeroboam of Chateau Mouton-Rothschild 1945.

My apologies, Sir. This mouthwash was only used to clear the palate for the single malts. I'm sending a case of Macallan 1926 to the mansion for your assessment - only 40 were ever produced but I scored a case on the Internet for a great price. I think you'll appreciate the woody nose and a nutty finish on the back of your throat: to spit or swallow, hmm...

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

It is the mindset of the cyclist that annoys me. They consider themselves “pedestrians of enhanced mobility and privilege.” They seem to think that they have some rights on the road.

Amen, Brother Bathfire, amen. So many rights and yet so dependent on the compassion of drivers such as yourself and myself.

A few months back one of my trucks from the meat-packing business was badly delayed when it overtook a cyclist and turned right. Fortunately, one of my managers was there to verify that the cyclist had speeded up as the truck tried to pass him.

Aggressive cyclists only respect power. You can't back down when they threaten you - that's the time when you close your eyes, say a prayer and accelerate into the confrontation.

[Unfalsifiable]

I've never trusted the up-and-down pumping motion of those cyclists. The ever-shrinking size of the saddles is fooling no one.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Sometimes a picture tells us something better left unsaid:

[MitzaLizalor]

I don't understand.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

The cyclist proceeded to throw the middle finger at me continuously for 7 miles as I rode his tail up the hill. It was only when I accelerated up the inside at my exit - shaving 20 milliseconds - that I realized how blessed I am. I saved a man's life.

What an ungrateful degenerate! I am so sorry that you had to endure such persecution, dear Brother Dr. Toole, but the blessed does teach us that the said these things would happen.

Luke 6:22 "Blessed are ye, when men shall hate you, and when they shall separate you from their company, and shall reproach you, and cast out your name as evil, for the Son of man's sake."

And, that very foolish ingrate will regret the very day that he decided to oppress you so terribly, Dear.

II Corinthians 5:10 "For we must all appear before the judgment seat of ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad."

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Sometimes a picture tells us something better left unsaid:

Amen, dear Brother Mayor Hold. And, to further prove your point, I am including photos of an event which Agatha (my sister) and I passed by — most regrettably — when we were visiting Aggie's friend, Mabel-Abigail, in that sin-filled city of Toronto. We were aghast — and horrified — at what that pansy-faced Prime Minister Trudeau allows bicyclists to do in his -bound nation!

Now, before you scroll down to see the photographic evidence of that unfortunate occurrence (and you may prefer not to do so), kindly send the kiddies out to play. They must not witness such disgusting perversion. But, if you are willing to see an example of the devil's disgusting debauchery — as proof that we are living in the last days — then do so at your own risk. Kindly proceed with caution!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

I read an alarming report recently about the dangers of e-bikes to pedestrians. These vehicles operate at speeds well in excess of 15 mph and often close to sidewalks, where little old ladies may get startled or even terrified.

“There is a palpable fear among pedestrians who feel as if the laws and regulations aren’t being enforced, and frankly, I have to agree with them,” state Sen. Brad Hoylman-Sigal said. “They are highly mechanized vehicles that speed through red lights and crosswalks".

Look at this nightmare endstage in Euuuuurope where the "bicibus" (bicycle bus) rides on the street taking children to and from school:

“What I like best is chatting to my friends while we’re on our bikes,” says Alex Hurtado, 9. “For me the best thing is we can put on music and we get to choose which songs we want,” says Rita Camprubí, 7. “What I like best about the bicibús is meeting girls and boys I don’t know from other schools,” says her four-year-old sister Lola. Jana Camprubí, 4, adds: “What I like most is to ride at the front, like I’m the driver.”



Unacceptable.

I urge members of the Church to be on the attack - lock doors, buy guns, write your congressman. Those with smaller cars should invest in larger SUVs. The Lincoln is a good one - it's practically impossible to see the road from one of these, which is a perfect defense should the inevitable happen and you end up in court.

When drivers kill cyclists — small fines, no jail

Since 2011 in Iowa, 22 bicyclists have died in collisions with cars. None of the drivers was given prison time, including one who left the scene and another who was drunk and fled.

Thirteen of those drivers were subsequently charged. Four cases are pending, but in the other 11, the most common punishment was a $250 fine.

And legislators remain reluctant to make changes — even a small effort to encourage cars to pass safely around bicycles failed in the state Legislature this year.

People need to know that getting to work faster on multiple lane speed tracks is the driver (no pun) of the economy and by extension the highest priority to improve our lives. Anything which reduces efficiency needs to be struck down and left in a crumpled pile at the side of the road - move over.

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole

I read an alarming report recently about the dangers of e-bikes to pedestrians. These vehicles operate at speeds well in excess of 15 mph and often close to sidewalks, where little old ladies may get startled or even terrified.

“There is a palpable fear among pedestrians who feel as if the laws and regulations aren’t being enforced, and frankly, I have to agree with them,” state Sen. Brad Hoylman-Sigal said. “They are highly mechanized vehicles that speed through red lights and crosswalks".

Look at this nightmare endstage in Euuuuurope where the "bicibus" (bicycle bus) rides on the street taking children to and from school:



Unacceptable.

I urge members of the Church to be on the attack - lock doors, buy guns, write your congressman. Those with smaller cars should invest in larger SUVs. The Lincoln is a good one - it's practically impossible to see the road from one of these, which is a perfect defense should the inevitable happen and you end up in court.

People need to know that getting to work faster on multiple lane speed tracks is the driver (no pun) of the economy and by extension the highest priority to improve our lives. Anything which reduces efficiency needs to be struck down and left in a crumpled pile at the side of the road - move over.

Why; yes, indeed, dear Brother Dr. Toole! The other day as I was leaving the Piggly Wiggly and walking through the parking lot to get to Daddy's 1959 Monarch Sceptre (photo attached), I had the living daylights scared out of me by some brat on one of those e-bikes. Then, as if that wasn't enough, one of his friends whizzed past me so closely on his motorized skateboard that he almost made me drop my shopping bag that was full of baking goods. It's times like that when I wish I had been carrying a golf club to swing at such ingrates.

And, then, as I was crossing the street at the crosswalk (and not a Boy Scout in sight to assist!), another vagrant almost clipped me from being too close on his e-bike. Why can't the younger generation use the same type of bicycles that we used when we were younger? Why do they have to ruin everything?

Now, if this doesn't define a more acceptable way of getting around, then I don't know what does!

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Originally Posted by Isabella White

And, then, as I was crossing the street at the crosswalk (and not a Boy Scout in sight to assist!), another vagrant almost clipped me from being too close on his e-bike.

Thank Jesus you survived these encounters, Sister. Sometimes I find offense is the best defense with cyclists. It's astonishing the damage you can do by simply dropping a bag into the path of a moving bicycle. And completely free of legal risk thanks to our legislators - just claim you were drunk.

Now, if this doesn't define a more acceptable way of getting around, then I don't know what does!

Yes, it could be handy for short trips of 1 mile or less. For longer journeys I'd still want the comfort of the F150 Black Ops Ass-Pounder XL.

[Phil Ander]

So I gather that bike helmets are not legally compulsory in Canada. Surprised that Trudeau has overlooked that in his quest for the international wokeness award.

Phil

[Isabella White]

Originally Posted by Phil Ander

So I gather that bike helmets are not legally compulsory in Canada. Surprised that Trudeau has overlooked that in his quest for the international wokeness award.

Phil

Oh, nothing should surprise any of us, dear Brother Ander, when it comes to that pansy-faced, pervert-loving Justin Trudeau. He would not give a moment's thought to the bike helmets issue — he's far too busy doing his Satanic levitation!

[MitzaLizalor]

And how many $trillions have been "invested" in cycle paths then what happens? “We have just as much right to be on the road as a [INSERT VEHICLE OF CHOICE]” then this turns up and the bleating starts in earnest.

In fact cycling is quite a nice form of exercise (compared to some of the stuff posted here to unsuccessfully shock) and on a sunny afternoon not too warm following a woodland trail could even be enjoyable. I do not own a so-called cycling helmet, what's next? pedestrian helmets? full leather garb for purchasing a banana? anyway:

WARNING
you will not be able to un-see what follows

..watch out for these menaces on the road. The first contraption is familiar enough, high 80s on the menace scale – but I will not be buying one of these, not even a scandium/palladium model from Zürich. Also available in green:

However оxymоrоnic the words adult tricycle may be, things are about to get much worse. I saw one at a busy intersection and thought, “Is zey completely insane?” The recumbent bicycle is also available as a three-wheeler.

So far, so good. Pretty standard nutter, a "green" perhaps or a vegan dietary consultant. But there are others. Two designs will reduce visibility on the road even further. Firstly the matt black even more ridiculous sports model followed by a low rider, ground clearance about one inch, for even greater authenticity.

At which point I gave up. There are some other designs in full lunatic asylum mode which, not having seen one on the road, are not included here.