[Marko Loimaan-Aho]

Originally Posted by Miracle Hope

Then I guess he'll have to re-ask my father.

How many times he'll have to ask your father?
You can not make a christian marriage with a man like that

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho

You were a virgin week ago (another thread in the introduction forum) - then you were raped and found a husband that way.

But he does not beat you?

A man married to a woman and no consummation of marriage?

I don't know what this means, but it's interesting is all I'm saying.

[Attila's Wife]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

A man married to a woman and no consummation of marriage?

I don't know what this means, but it's interesting is all I'm saying.

You mean a "man" with a name like, say, Gerhard? Married to a "woman", with a name like - well, let's not even go there. We are talking about a sort of double abomination, aren't we?

I feel a bit sick now, but will do my best to pray for everyone concerned.

[Des]

You've been married for a week, you're still a virgin, and your husband doesn't bea...ummm, discipline you. Have you asked him if he's gay? 'Cause I'm thinkin' gay.

[Godfly]

Originally Posted by Des

You've been married for a week, you're still a virgin, and your husband doesn't bea...ummm, discipline you. Have you asked him if he's gay? 'Cause I'm thinkin' gay.

Or a eunuch.

[Miracle Hope]

He is not gay. I'm pretty sure you don't beat your wives. That would be abuse. Y'all just give them a couple of 'love taps'. And his name is Johnnie. Not Gerhard. Or what I think is supposed to be Gerard. And you don't always have to make Soldiers for Christ the second you get married. Some True Christians decided to wait. There something about it on these forums.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Miracle Hope

He is not gay.

Perhaps you are more offensive looking than you realize. Was he very drunk when you exchanged your wedding vows?

[Des]

Does your local zoo call and ask to press your face in dough to make gorilla cookies?

Have you noticed vultures and coyotes vomiting when they make eye contact with you?

Does the local science club film your face while making a documentary about the surface of the moon?

Did the nastiest guy in high school bring a picture of a dead hooker to prom instead of asking you?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may have a problem with chronic ugly.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Des

Does your local zoo call and ask to press your face in dough to make gorilla cookies?

Have you noticed vultures and coyotes vomiting when they make eye contact with you?

Does the local science club film your face while making a documentary about the surface of the moon?

Did the nastiest guy in high school bring a picture of a dead hooker to prom instead of asking you?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may have a problem with chronic ugly.

Can someone pray away Coyote Ugly? I don't recall any Scripture pertaining to such a malady.

[Des]

Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda

Can someone pray away Coyote Ugly? I don't recall any Scripture pertaining to such a malady.

Nor do I, Sister. But rest assured, we'll get a bun in this poor, homely creature's oven! You're suggestion on the introduction thread should work fine for her. It did the job with Noah and his daughters. Glory!

[Miracle Hope]

Well, I agree with you, and y'all still seem to think I'm evil or something.

[Mary Thompson]

It's clear that Hope-miracle is a sufferer of Chonric Ugliness. And her husband (if she isn't indeed lying about being able to marry someone) sounds like a homo. I hear covering your face with a bag makes your husband more likely to do his marital duties to you.
But if that doesn't work, he is totally gay. There are plenty of threads here on symptons of a gay man. So check them out then see if you can annul your marriage.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Thinks Design • WARNING • QUOTE contains DRIVEL
You see the Designer made every one for a purpose. People are different but when you average it out people end up being equal.

Just look at the races the Designer made. People from Scandinavia are big and strong to be able to move through snow, black people can run very fast but are poor swimmers, the Japanese are smaller than normal people but are more cunning and know karate.

[MitzaLizalor]

I was rather surprised to see that last post (mine) but checked and sure enough Miss Design was indeed posting about small nimble Japanese having the advantage. Due to karate. Unlike in the video where there wasn't much opportunity for the small nimble one to actually use karate. But I digress.

Perhaps it is the husband who is the toad here, married off by his father at the first (and probably not early, in that case) opportunity? From Mrs Hope's defensive tone, and I appreciate "oh there's nothing wrong with my husband, there isn't, there isn't, there isn't, there isn't," she's doing her wifely duty here, perhaps Mr Woo has a product available?

[Miracle Hope]

Originally Posted by Des

Does your local zoo call and ask to press your face in dough to make gorilla cookies?

Have you noticed vultures and coyotes vomiting when they make eye contact with you?

Does the local science club film your face while making a documentary about the surface of the moon?

Did the nastiest guy in high school bring a picture of a dead hooker to prom instead of asking you?

If you answered yes to any of these, you may have a problem with chronic ugly.

No. None of these have ever happened. If I go out to church or the grocery store, I get compliments because people think I'm pretty. And he's not gay. I just thought it would be better to have waited on the sex.

[MitzaLizalor]

Originally Posted by Miracle Hope

No. None of these have ever happened. If I go out to church or the grocery store, I get compliments because people think I'm pretty. And he's not gay. I just thought it would be better to have waited on the sex.

But just think what would happen if you died unexpectedly before that first child?

I TIMOTHY 2
14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
KJV .. look up . context

No matter how sober or holy or charitable or faithful you are without the child The Bible is clear. HELL FOREVER. And even if you do produce a son but slip up on the sobriety condition, getting drunk on your 100th birthday and disgracing your husband for example or maybe questioning God's Plan during a visit to Africa, whoooooooooooooooooooops!!

It's that important. Your husband offers you an opportunity for Salvation and you're all like ..um ..cool ..later.

HEBREWS 6
4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost,
5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come,
6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame.
7 For the earth which drinketh in the rain that cometh oft upon it, and bringeth forth herbs meet for them by whom it is dressed, receiveth blessing from God:
8 But that which beareth thorns and briers is rejected, and is nigh unto cursing; whose end is to be burned.
KJV .. look up

[Freddy Osborne]

God has rightfully humiliated this spineless husband who failed to keep his wife in line. His own daughter will probably be slapping him around before this is over...

http://m.wyff4.com/news/battered-man...abuse/26131666

By Liz Lohuis
Published On: May 22 2014 10:45:55 PM EDT
Updated On: May 23 2014 12:29:01 AM EDT
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OCONEE COUNTY, S.C. -
An Upstate man is sharing his story of domestic abuse to let other men know they are not alone.

In April, Sumi Marie Jenkins was charged after police said she chased her husband with a butcher knife, tried to stab him in the back and choked their daughter.

At a silent auction for a new domestic violence shelter in Oconee County, Keith Jenkins shared his story.

He said the abuse has been going on for years.

“It started with me being slapped, then things were thrown at me, then it progressed to me being hit with a car, and finally to the point where there was a knife in my throat,” said Jenkins.

He said no matter where him and his children run, his wife always finds him.

“Yesterday we moved for the fourth time in a month to get away from her. It's just been a relentless storm of threats and promises of what she is going to do and will do and there is no way to stop her,” said Jenkins.

He says in the last month alone, more than 20 police reports have been filed.

“She gets locked up, two days later she's out and it starts again,” said Jenkins.

Jenkins said there's a stigma associated with domestic violence, and it's even greater when men are the victims.

“It happened to me. I am 6 feet 2 inches and 240 pounds, and she is 98 pounds but look at what happened to me,” said Jenkins.

Safe Harbor, a shelter for domestic violence victims, wants Jenkins to know there is hope.

“I am often asked the question, ‘What about the men?’ There is help for the men. The same help we give the women, we give the men,” said Safe Harbor volunteer Kay Davis.

Davis said the new Safe Harbor shelter, set to open this summer, provides counseling and legal advocacy for both men and women.

They also provide temporary housing for men.

She said Jenkins is taking the right first step by telling his story.

“The whole idea is to stop whispering about it. Let's shout if from the rooftops,” said Davis.

Jenkins said he wants to be the voice of all men in a similar nightmare.

“If somebody today sees this, somebody somewhere, and realizes, ‘Hey, I can do this same thing and get out of a situation,' that may be one less person who dies over nonsense,” said Jenkins.

A ribbon-cutting for the new Safe Harbor shelter will be held in Oconee County on July 8.

[Mother Of Seven]

The problem is dear, that you've been lying all this time. You do not live in Kentucky. In Kentucky, the marriage ceremony can be performed by any ordained or licensed clergymen who have been licensed in Kentucky to perform weddings, and justices of the peace. You do not need to marry first in a court house. You enter the church unmarried and you leave it married. Because you lied about where you live, this has caused much confusion. Which European country do you live in?
And God hates liars. Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

[Miracle Hope]

Originally Posted by Mother Of Seven

The problem is dear, that you've been lying all this time. You do not live in Kentucky. In Kentucky, the marriage ceremony can be performed by any ordained or licensed clergymen who have been licensed in Kentucky to perform weddings, and justices of the peace. You do not need to marry first in a court house. You enter the church unmarried and you leave it married. Because you lied about where you live, this has caused much confusion. Which European country do you live in?
And God hates liars. Proverbs 12:22 Lying lips are abomination to the LORD: but they that deal truly are his delight.

I didn't want to spend money on a wedding so we just went to the courthouse.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by Miracle Hope

I didn't want to spend money on a wedding so we just went to the courthouse.

Please don't waste Jesus' precious bandwidth with irrelevant and uninteresting trivia. Kindly start praising the Sweet Redeemer, or go find some other community that might find some interest in your silly fables.