[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Secret

As I mentioned before, you cannot disprove that spaghetti didn't exist in a form of a supernatural being before the Earth was made,

How dare you mock God with your blasphemies!

Galatians 6:7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

I'm sure Jesus will have a special place for you during the rapture for trying to lead man from the True Word of God.

Isaiah 9:17-20 Therefore the LORD shall have no joy in their young men, neither shall have mercy on their fatherless and widows: for every one is an hypocrite and an evildoer, and every mouth speaketh folly. For all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still. For wickedness burneth as the fire: it shall devour the briers and thorns, and shall kindle in the thickets of the forest, and they shall mount up like the lifting up of smoke.
Through the wrath of the LORD of hosts is the land darkened, and the people shall be as the fuel of the fire: no man shall spare his brother.
And he shall snatch on the right hand, and be hungry; and he shall eat on the left hand, and they shall not be satisfied: they shall eat every man the flesh of his own arm:

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

I wonder if hell has a special section for all these spaghetti worshipers where they will be boiled in tomato sauce for all eternity.

Heaven not your non-existent version of Hell is a subject I have covered so many time on this forum, but for those of you who are hard of thinking I will yet again show you what the Most Holy texts have to say on this matter:

REVELATIONS OF ST. JASON

1.8 "Many of the living believe that there is a Heaven for those who are to be rewarded, and a Hell to punish. This is not His way. He gathers all the best and brightest to Him at the Crater. The coolest pirates. The hottest strippers. The sauces there would blast away your mortal mouth. And the beer? Sweet Spaghetti Monster..." Seeing that words had failed him, I turned to the volcano, and looking up saw the top was lost in Alfredo-white clouds. "It is a long walk." I observed. "Not really. This be Heaven, after all." he said. "Well, less so this part, which be the outskirts. As the Flying Spaghetti Monster gathers those most worthy to him, those deserving of heaven inhabit all parts, according to their virtues." "And which virtues are these?" I asked. And Saint James gave me the Second Truth.

1.9 "Any who believe" said St. James "Are saved. There is a spot in Heaven for them. While it is possible to a complete douche bag and still get into Heaven, you will not be invited to the parties, nor on the pillaging crews, nor to swim in the cauldron. Some get over it and knock off the crap. They slowly get accepted further up the mountain. Others accept their place and set about making it better. They quickly find themselves very busy far up the slopes. And others still can't give it up. They find their place down here, and grumble about the beer, and complain about the ugly strippers, yet do nothing to improve their situation. They may spend eternity down here." he explained. "Are they doomed? Will they never partake of the Holy Font of beers? Never taste the Perfect Alfredo? Never set eyes upon the Most Beautiful Strippers?" I asked shocked. "Don't be an ass." said St. James. "They can go wherever they want. This is Heaven, after all! But like in real life, people don't like to hang out with chowder heads. And more and more, those who deserve find themselves accepted for who they are up the slopes, and those who remain without virtue, find themselves accepted farther down." "Ugh." Said I. "It sounds like high school." "It is like high school," replied St. James. "But unlike that flawed copy, in Heaven, you are actually valued by what you are worth, rather then by who you are dating or who is on the football team." "So what are these virtues, then?" I asked. "Oh, sorry. I got sidetracked there." Said St. James. And proceeded to give me the Second Truth for real this time.

An Announcement Regarding the Afterlife

2 It is my contention that a loving God of any kind would not Damn someone to Hell.
3 Darning them to Heck would be a problem for a supposedly intelligent creator.

22 Not a real burning-in type hell, no boiling lakes of fire, just an appropriate 'reward'.
23 No more lunatics and sadists, please.
24 The current administration's quite enough.
25 Other people have other ideas, but then again other people are promoting Holy War, too.
26 Don't do that in the name of our FSM.
27 That's not the Way to Do Things Right.

Muellers I
a letter to the Macaronians

48 The Flying Spaghetti Monster who is Our Lord did not create us that we might simply then be condemned for failing to believe in Him.
49 What kind of crazy scheme is that;
50 to bestow his Creatures with life, then to throw that life he bestowed into eternal torment?
51 That is the way of evil deities, not good ones.
52 Our One Who Flies and is Saucy understands that life among beings with free will, on a planet with natural systems that cause tumult, and Scientifically Intelligently Designed by a deity who is prankish and can be peevish, should not end in eternal misery.
53 That‟s insane.
54 What kind of fool would believe such a being worthy of worship?

[Nobar King]

I'm too tired to read any of this stupid thread, but I suppose if God wanted to dress up on Halloween like a plate of spaghetti, I certainly wouldn't be one to put it past Him. That's only one reason, but who cares? God isn't any kind of flying monster, so the whole point of having a discussion like this is really just a waste of time. You could be eating ice cream or taking a nap instead of wasting your time arguing philosophical nonsense.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

I'm too tired to read any of this stupid thread, but I suppose if God wanted to dress up on Halloween like a plate of spaghetti, I certainly wouldn't be one to put it past Him. That's only one reason, but who cares? God isn't any kind of flying monster, so the whole point of having a discussion like this is really just a waste of time. You could be eating ice cream or taking a nap instead of wasting your time arguing philosophical nonsense.

I see you are starting to accept the TRUTH that I speak but a still unable to admit it.

Qwertyuiopasd’s Letter to the Evangelists.

3:3 If you agree with it, believe it, no matter if it comes from the Bible, the Qur‟an, The Buddha, Dave Barry, or any other source imaginable; these are all conduits of the Flying Spaghetti Monster

[Jo Freddie]

I have already given a logical proof that GOD IS the FSM

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

Now let us use logic not science.

PROPOSTION 1. The universe exhibits too much structure to have evolved by chance.
CONCLUSION 1. There was a creator.
PROPOSTION 2. All things are subject to the passage of time.
CONCLUSION 2. The processes of the universe were in action over the time period in which it was created.
PROPOSTION 3. Nothing, not even a God, can know the exact outcome of a situation in the universe, Moreover, the uncertainty increases with the time elapsed since the parameters of the situation were known.
CONCLUSION 3. If the creator wished to make the universe precisely as he pleased, then he would need to do it rapidly.
PROPOSTION 4. Any being that would create a universe for his own pleasure is an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 4. The creator was an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 5. Since an egotistical maniac. Would want things done his way, he must have, by C3, made the universe extremely rapidly; in fact as rapidly as possible.
PROPOSTION 5. If a creator could affect more points of space simultaneously, then he could create the structure in the universe more rapidly.
CONCLUSION 6. A creator with more appendages than another could have created the universe more rapidly.
CONCLUSION 7. Since by C5, the creator made the universe as rapidly as possible, he has as many appendages as possible.
PROPOSTION 6. The universe is discrete.
CONCLUSION 8. There is a minimal thickness to the appendages of the creator.
CONCLUSION 9. A creator with thinner appendages can have more of them.
CONCLUSION 10. By C7 and C9, the creator had as many appendages as possible, all of minimal thickness.
CONCLUSION 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Proof of Proposition 3

PROPOSTION 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.
PROPOSTION 8. There is no pleasure to be drawn from us if we do not have free will.
CONCLUSION 12. We have free will
PROPOSTION 9. If the universe was premeditated, then we would not have free will.
CONCLUSION 13. The universe is not premeditated.
PROPOSTION 10. The creator set up the initial conditions of the universe.
CONCLUSION 14. By C13, there is uncertainty in the unfolding of the universe.
CONCLUSION 15. As uncertainty on top of uncertainty brings even more uncertainty, as time passes, the level of uncertainty increses.
CONCLUSION 16. Proposition 3 is true.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

Hmmmm...

PROPOSTION 4. Any being that would create a universe for his own pleasure is an egotistical maniac.
CONCLUSION 11. The creator was a Flying Spaghetti Monster.
Proof of Prop 3 - PROPOSTION 7. The creator made us for his pleasure.

Final conclusion thus = The FSM is an egotistical maniac.

[Levi Jones]

No! That's God's Job!



Job 41:31 He maketh the deep to boil like a pot: he maketh the sea like a pot of ointment.

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

I have already given a logical proof that GOD IS the FSM

I have a picture of your True Followers.

Gay Atheists

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

Hmmmm...


Final conclusion thus = The FSM is an egotistical maniac.

Well at least you accept his existence, that is a start, there is hope your you yet brother.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

I can only think of 1 Reason why God is not a flying spaghetti monster!


Spaghetti came after the creation of the earth

Of course it did, the FSM had to first provide the ingredients before we could make Pasta. The Good Lord FSM gave us the ingredients to make Pasta and Noodle so we good honour him with a dish that resembles him.

The Holy Noodle

The Third Day: Land and Vegetation
Then the FSM said, “Let the earth bring forth grass, semolina, rice, and whatever else can be turned into food that resembles my Noodly Appendages,” and He saw that this was an original idea, which was certainly good.

The Olive Garden of Eden
That midget, however, was goddamn noisy. The FSM couldn’t deal with all the complaining down on earth, so the Lord FSM commanded the midget, saying, “Here’s an idea . . . why don’t you collect the semolina, rice and what-have-you, and make pasta in my image. That’s what it’s there for. And fill your mouth with it and be quiet and peaceful. But be careful with the olive tree, for the olive itself is good, but the pit inside is rock hard and you could choke on it or break a tooth, so you should consider it as evil; if you choke you shall surely die. Which would mean I wasted a hell of a lot of time on you, although I’m already having second thoughts.”

The Book of Piraticus

Chapter 1
1 And the Flying Spaghetti Monster called unto Pirate Mosey, and spake unto him out of the pirate ship of the crew, saying,
2 Speak unto the children of the seven seas, and say unto them, if any pirate brings an offering unto the FSM, ye shall bring your offering of spaghetti and meatballs or rum and fish head stew.
3 And he shall consume this offering and rejoice for the FSM will be pleased.
4 He shall not burn his offerings as no one could receive its goodness if it‟s ashes.
5 Also, it would smell really bad.
6 Although I guess burning the rum would be pretty cool.
7 But I think it has to be over 100 proof to burn and I dunno if pirates can get their hands on good stuff like that.
8 But if he can, he should go for it, cause it would be pretty sweet and it would please me.

[Lisa H]

How about this for a reason not to follow the spaghetti monster

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

How about this for a reason not to follow the spaghetti monster

Make that up yourself?
Image location....
i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae81/LisaH001/LBC/spagmondevil.jpg
Looks like your account to me.
I could make up images of characters from The KJV1611 Collected Fairy tales but they would prove nothing and give the Admins that excuse they are looking for to attempt to try and get me banned me from this forum.

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

Make that up yourself?
Image location....
i960.photobucket.com/albums/ae81/LisaH001/LBC/spagmondevil.jpg
Looks like your account to me.
I could make up images of characters from The KJV1611 Collected Fairy tales but they would prove nothing and give the Admins that excuse they are looking for to attempt to try and get me banned me from this forum.

So you know how to look up an image url on the net. So do the 99.9999% other people who use the internet.

You may like to print it off to remind you of who you are worshiping and where you will be spending eternity.

[Jo Freddie]

Originally Posted by Lisa H

You may like to print it off to remind you of who you are worshiping and where you will be spending eternity.

I know where I will be spending eternity, and it does not involve any oversized pitchforks or lakes of fire.


The Revelation of St. Oregano

13:2 2/2 "But the great voice did'st quell his fear saying, 'Fear not, matey. For I am the Almighty Noodle, creator of beer volcanoes and stripper factories. Surely ye know I care for thee?'"

The Book of Midgets/Midgits
Chapter V

5 And he did thus give the Big People many gifts,
6 espoused in the ways of Pirates and Lumberjacks.
7 And the FSM, sick of telling little people gags, did gift the Big Ones with many politically incorrect ways.
8 For the likeable roguish spirit of the FSM, the creator of the Beer Volcano and Strippers, was thus embodied in these likeable rogues.

The Story of the FSM and the Eastern Pirates
Chapter 3

19 As a sign of my grace I give this Anchovies Pizza to you and your family.
20 It will never grow stale and every noon it will renew itself until you will pass away and see my Hereafter, where there is the mighty Beer Volcano and the Stripper Factory.

The Book of Fearsome Pirate Pete

5:1 “There is another thing you should know, and this will help you to recruit more followers,” The Flying Spaghetti Monster told Pete.
5:2 “When you die, your soul, which I think is immortal, but don‟t quote me on that, will find it‟s way to Pastafarian Heaven, where there is a Volcano of Beer, and a Factory of Strippers.”
5:3 “But O Noodly Lord, Oi be prefer‟n Grog t‟ Beer… Will Oi have to drink only Beer in heaven?” Fearsome Pirate Pete asked the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
5:4 “What?
5:5 Of course not!
5:6 Oh, I forgot again, the Beer Volcano is really a Volcano of any beverage you like, whenever you like it.
5:7 I prefer Beer, so that‟s all it is to me, I forget sometimes,” The Flying Spaghetti Monster explained, “Similar rules apply to the Stripper Factory.”
5:8 “Yarrgh, one other thing,” Fearsome Pirate Pete continued, “Ye said summin „bout Pastafarian?
5:9 What be that?”
5:10 “Did I forget that too?” The Great Noodly One asked rhetorically, “Sheesh.
5:11 Pastafarian is what you will call yourself, and what any follower of Me will call themselves.
5:12 I‟m going to say that covers everything,” The Flying Spaghetti Monster concluded, “Because I just remembered that I left Lasagna in the oven.”
5:13 In one moment the Flying Spaghetti Monster was there, and in the next, He was not.

[Lisa H]

Originally Posted by Jo Freddie

I know where I will be spending eternity, and it does not involve any oversized pitchforks or lakes of fire.

You are wrong. You will never have worry about your spaghetti getting cold in hell.

[Nefiron]

Leviticus 21:20
Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;

The bible is actually in doubt about it.

They don't know what it actually is.
Therefore the christian god cannot have created it. Satan neither.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Nefiron

The bible is actually in doubt about it.

They don't know what it actually is.
Therefore the christian god cannot have created it. Satan neither.

The Bible is what??

God created everything, pal. Including satan.

[Nefiron]

Why should he create something that is against himself and is evil?
If god is good why reject us things we find good for us?

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Nefiron

Why should he create something that is against himself and is evil?
If god is good why reject us things we find good for us?

God creates both good and evil. Ours is not to question Him. Our lot in life is merely to obey.

Lamentations 3:38 Out of the mouth of the most High proceedeth not evil and good?

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.

Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?

Don't be seduced by easy promises of beer and strippers. Walk the hard path to salvation! Don't you want to feel a sense of accomplishment about yourself for being one of the 0.03% good enough to make it into Heaven?

Matthew 7:13 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat:

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Nefiron

Why should he create something that is against himself and is evil?
If god is good why reject us things we find good for us?

You aren't allowed to ask God "why."