[Brother Temperance]

In a new statement from the Vatican, the antichrist Poope (as he is now officially known - see here) has stated that he doesn't trust them to drink beer or blow whistles without killing anyone. Given that Catholicism = terrorism, I can't say I blame the Satanic old fool.

The Catholic Church of England and Wales has published a guide for those attending events with the Pope during his visit to the UK next month.
There will be strict controls over what can and cannot be brought into the three large public gatherings in London, Glasgow and Birmingham.
Alcohol, barbecues, gazebos and musical instruments will all be banned as they "could pose a threat to others"...
The instructions appear on the official papal visit website...

Other banned items include bicycles, whistles, candles and animals.
The events will not be open to the general public on the day.
Those wishing to attend must be attached in advance to a group from a Catholic parish.
Group members will be issued with a "pilgrim pack" containing the all-important "pilgrim pass", allowing entry to the event.
The pack will also include a 12-track CD featuring Britain's Got Talent finalist Liam McNally.
About 80,000 people are expected to attend the evening vigil in Hyde Park on 18 September, with 65,000 expected the following day in Cofton Park, Birmingham.
The Cofton Park event will be the "culmination" of the Pope's visit as he beatifies Cardinal Henry Newman, who is buried nearby.

Well, there you go. Not even the Pope thinks that Catholics should be trusted with sharp objects. Please bear in mind that the figure of 80,000 people was an estimate made before the alcohol ban was announced, the organisers expect that only about ten Catholics will show up once they realise that they're expected to stay sober throughout.

[Bobby-Joe]

"Gazebos" is a public menace? Does the word gazebo have different meaning in England

You got to love the rewards for the Catholic faithful

The pack will also include a 12-track CD featuring Britain's Got Talent finalist Liam McNally.

Perhaps Father Mo might comment on something that sounds out since the vintage communion wine and velvet slippers crowd? Heck, even outside the fish fry and bingo crowd.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Having witnessed millions of nigras with Vuvuzelas on television this past summer, I can't begin to comprehend what 80,000 cathylicks with musical instruments would sound like. Given their penchant for the abominable a cappella Gregorian chants, I fear that musical instruments in their hands would call forth a new incantation of Satan.

[Levi Jones]

How positively horrible! No roasting meat? No assault rifles? No wonder the catlickers are losing people in droves.