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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Hey ho! - 11-08-2023, 11:02 PM

What up! My name's Brenda Dyckman (pronounced dike-MANN not dick-MANN), my pronouns are they/she/gendy nooch. I'm from Boston go to Magic Carpet Alternative Faith Centre, I'm the protective services and woman's refuge outreach coordinator for Violence Against Girls Is Not Acceptable. We do counseling, CBT therapy, rehabilitation and intervention for women and girls in existential and domestic distress at the hands of men. Did you know 1 in 3 women (35.6%) in the US have experienced rape and/or physical violence by a male partner? That's crazy!

I see you guys are Christians, I dig it, but some stuff on here is pretty wild, and inappropriate. Ngl, I'm not your "traditional" woman. I don't do kitchen stuff, I can barely make grilled cheese without burning myself. I read the Bible when I was teen, no particular verse stands out, definitely flicked the bean to Song of Solomon, that was a moment.


I come to your site as a force of love. So much hurt and trauma here. I found Jesus and see Her face up close. I'm about to get real, so if you don't want to read this, look away:

[*** OBSCENE WRITTEN MATERIAL REMOVED BY CONSCIENTIOUS MODERATOR ***]



Know this Landover, and stumble over your ancient scrolls and everything you thought you knew, because the truth WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!

Last edited by Isabella White; 11-09-2023 at 12:37 AM. Reason: Profanities removed, as ordered by the Lord Jesus!
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 01:20 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
1 in 3 women (35.6%)
Your math is off. 1 in 3 women would be 33.3333333...% not 35.6.

I did not read the rest, but I assume it's as good as your math.


Anyway, have you tried going on a diet? Making yourself more attractive to a potential husband would solve most of your existential problems.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:15 AM

Sister Brenda,

We here at God's favorite forum are open and welcoming folk. We know there is a heaven to gain and a hell to shun. How do we know? The Bible tells us so



Because we base our lives on God's Word, we have no fear in pointing out the error of mens ways. We do so in love. Even when we tell you that hell is in your future, we are filled with compassion and a desire to see you turn to the One entity Who can save. That is the Lord Jesus Christ. As a stalwart heterosexual I have controlled myself from flirting with you despite your obvious appeal. In fact I told my male companion that I needed prayer to keep from asking you out.


You are aware, no doubt, that you seem like a bull dyke. We love you nonetheless. If you have any questions about the hundreds of reasons you are hell bound, please consult with one of our pastors or pastorettes.


Your new friend
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:22 AM

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Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
... I found Jesus and see Her face up close...
High. I'm just curious: which Bible have you been reading?


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Jesus Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 11:17 AM

You seem like a stout young fella, welcome to our little Church. Have you completed all the membership forms and supplied 5 yeas of 1040's?
When did you first comprehend that Jesus was your soulmate?


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Your math is off. 1 in 3 women would be 33.3333333...% not 35.6.

I did not read the rest, but I assume it's as good as your math.


Anyway, have you tried going on a diet? Making yourself more attractive to a potential husband would solve most of your existential problems.
Are you trying to be microaggressively ableist? That's incredibly triggering, but I'll blow it off.
And ew, why would I want to appeal to some disgusting man thing?
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:31 PM

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Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
High.
Word up! I personally like Indica pre roll 25% THC or higher.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:37 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
That is the Lord Jesus Christ. As a stalwart heterosexual I have controlled myself from flirting with you despite your obvious appeal. In fact I told my male companion that I needed prayer to keep from asking you out.
That's very considerate of you, as it would have been super inappropriate if you came on to me. Thank you. You seem more evolved than most men I know.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
Are you trying to be microaggressively ableist? That's incredibly triggering, but I'll blow it off.
Oh, sweetie, I don't do microaggressions. When I want to be aggressive, I swing with full force!

May I suggest "blowing it off" by doing some healthy physical activity? For someone healthier-looking I'd suggest running, but that's out of question, and no bicycle would withstand your weight, but maybe start with fast walking. Try to achieve that "silent walk" thing, preferably without uploading it to the internet. That would be beneficial for everyone around you, too.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
Have you completed all the membership forms and supplied 5 yeas of 1040's?
That's like a cigar brand, right?
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Cool Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 03:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
May I suggest "blowing it off" by doing some healthy physical activity? For someone healthier-looking I'd suggest running, but that's out of question, and no bicycle would withstand your weight, but maybe start with fast walking. Try to achieve that "silent walk" thing, preferably without uploading it to the internet. That would be beneficial for everyone around you, too.
Walking ain't my thing hunny, not with these arthritic cankles. The best exercise for me is good ol' fashioning finger blasting.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 04:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
May I suggest "blowing it off" by doing some healthy physical activity? For someone healthier-looking I'd suggest running, but that's out of question, and no bicycle would withstand your weight, but maybe start with fast walking. Try to achieve that "silent walk" thing, preferably without uploading it to the internet. That would be beneficial for everyone around you, too.
Oh, Dear. Something tells me that our out-of-shape newcomer does not take to physical activity too kindly, dear Sister Basilissa. Fast walking would most likely put too much stress on her fallen arches. Instead, I suggest that she do a "chair" cardio routine, such as in the attached video clip. But, rather than using a chair — which could collapse — this could be done outdoors, perhaps whilst seated on a sturdy boulder somewhere!





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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 04:23 PM

Judging by your perceived age which I'm guessing is pretty old, something tells me exercise isn't your thing either. Not attacking, just an observation. Would it be inaccurate to say that you use one of those moving chairs to get up stairs? My guess is our level of fitness is pretty similiar except you're more brittle and I have tattoos where you have liverspots.

Working out on a boulder would be cute except all that friction y'know might get me pretty wet and distracted.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 05:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
Judging by your perceived age which I'm guessing is pretty old, something tells me exercise isn't your thing either. Not attacking, just an observation.
I am not ashamed of the 88 (soon to be 89) years that the good has given to me. To his glorious Self, I give And, you are incorrect in assuming that exercise is not something that I do. Every day, I walk 1 1/2 miles, except in inclement weather, icy conditions, etc. As well, I follow a "heart healthy" diet, on the advice of my doctor. Speaking of him, he says my ticker is in fine shape, and he has no medical concerns at this time. Thanks be to !

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
Would it be inaccurate to say that you use one of those moving chairs to get up stairs? My guess is our level of fitness is pretty similiar except you're more brittle and I have tattoos where you have liverspots.
In this instance, you are correct in that it would be inaccurate to assume that I use a stair-lift. I have no problem using the stairs, although there are times when a bit of arthritis will flare up; but, generally, I walk without assistance (although, in slippery weather, I will occasionally employ the use of a cane.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
Working out on a boulder would be cute except all that friction y'know might get me pretty wet and distracted.
Kindly refrain from making such remarks, dear Miss Brenda. This is that you are visiting; as such, we are not interested in how your private parts might become chafed.




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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 05:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
That's very considerate of you, as it would have been super inappropriate if you came on to me. Thank you. You seem more evolved than most men I know.
That's very observant of you. Most of my brethren in this forum can tell you just how evolved I am. In addition to my gnathology career, I am in my 7th year of PhD studies and should finish in 3-5 years. I am an accomplished poet and you can be blessed by my work in the Poetaster's Corner of these forums. I devote my ministry to men. I have lost count of how many I have been on my knees with. I generally find them at various establishments on Christopher Street here in Godless New York City.


I could go on and on about myself but enough of MY opinion. What do YOU think of me?


Please be kind to my octogenarian and well bred great granny Sister Isabelle White. I must warn you she is very protective of me. Her prayers are powerful (for a female).


Alas I must repair a poor mare whose jaw occlusion has become painful so I must run. Again welcome to our loving fellowship. I have added you to my electronic prayer list and covet your prayers as well.


In the Name of Emmanuel,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 05:45 PM

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Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
What do YOU think of me?
You look like this guy I went to grade school with I had a big crush on. One day I asked him if he'd rather date me or go jump in a lake. He jumped in a lake and drowned. His name was David. That was turning point in my life when I realized I was queer.
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bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 06:16 PM

So I wanted to throw in, since I know this is a Christian site that I identify strongly with Hagar and the subject of overcoming oppression and finding your own voice and confidence. And let's be real, I'm not pregnant yet, though open to insemination possibilities with the right partner, I feel metaphorically pregnant with this raging fire in my belly that rumbles when confronted with injustice (and goat cheese stuffed jalapenos lol) which is why I'm committed for the work I do with <<<reference to female unmentionables removed by a helpful moderator>>> at Magic Carpet.

Last edited by Basilissa; 11-09-2023 at 08:57 PM. Reason: Keeping the forum clean for Jesus.
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Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
You look like this guy I went to grade school with I had a big crush on. One day I asked him if he'd rather date me or go jump in a lake. He jumped in a lake and drowned. His name was David. That was turning point in my life when I realized I was queer.
My deepest sympathies on such a tragic way to choose being queer.


Most people are infected by gay demons who come in through various ways including self abuse and riding in a car with a known homosexual. Being a devout straight boy, I have never known the urges queers feel when another male touches my hand just so or smiles at me in a crowded room and walks over to me, takes me in his arms and leads me, swooning, to his hotel room.


Whatever it is that attracts you to females of the same gender, Jesus is the key to deliverance. May you always feel loved and cared for as you seek forgiveness for your choice to be queer. God can change anything.


In the precious Blood,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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bdyckman1978 bdyckman1978 is offline
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bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.bdyckman1978 is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 08:00 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry View Post
My deepest sympathies on such a tragic way to choose being queer.
Thanks, I appreciate it. I wish my path to queerdom stemmed from more positive roots than feeling so ugly and unlovable that a boy would rather commit suicide than go out for coffee with me.
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BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!BrotherLarry will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Hey ho! - 11-09-2023, 08:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bdyckman1978 View Post
Thanks, I appreciate it. I wish my path to queerdom stemmed from more positive roots than feeling so ugly and unlovable that a boy would rather commit suicide than go out for coffee with me.
Sister Brenda


You should not feel too badly about that boy. Suicide is generally caused by the lies of the devil. He had other issues before you gave him the option he chose. Jesus stands ready to soothe your soul and take away unwarranted guilt.


I feel confident that a real Christian man is somewhere looking for you. You must look for Jesus first. We have many fine men here that might jump to have someone like you in their lives.


Your friend because God sent you here,
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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