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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 03:51 AM

You did the right thing, both by separating and going back.

1 Cor. 7:3-5

3Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.

4The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

I hope I am not wrong to believe that you prayed and fasted. You are such a Proverbs 31 lady that I just naturally know that is what you did. Ultimately, you are God's property first and your husband as head of the household will be answering to the Lord. Would not want to be in his shoes.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 05:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Actually I've gone home. He's promised it won't happen again, he's talking to the pastors, and he did see a counsellor for a while.

Anyway, I looked at my options and what's a few punches compared to having to live in poverty? I'll just try my best not to make him mad.
u shouldn't have to try and do anything. u seem like a good wife and good person in general. what ever makes u happy is what you should do, but i honestly think you shouldn't of put up with it. just put your foot down and draw a line. he married you so he should always respect u and love u as you are because you are. at least he is showing some remorse and its good that he is seeking help. god forbid he do this agin. u'll both be in my prayers. i hope your marriage goes just as you want it to from now on.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 05:50 AM

Thank you sister handmaiden for the tip, to be honest he's not a puncher and he has never given me a black eye. In fact I have never had a bruise that I couldn't explain away with a shrug and a comment about large dogs or clumsiness. I'm rather glad though, because the idea of putting a leech on my eye gives me the absolute willies.

Sister Repented Harlot, yes I did spend a lot of time in prayer. Thank you for that scripture. If things become too much for me at a future time I will follow that Biblical advice and ask to take some time away for fasting and prayer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
u shouldn't have to try and do anything. u seem like a good wife and good person in general. what ever makes u happy is what you should do,
I realize that you are an underaged poster so have no idea of what goes on in a marriage. There's an old saying that your happiness no longer matters as soon as you have children, this is true. Everything I do, I do for my boys. Should I send them to public school because it's easier than teaching them at home? Should I plop them in front of the TV because it's easier than dealing with them? Should I feed them freezer food because it's easier than cooking a proper meal? Then why should I force them into poverty?

Quote:
but i honestly think you shouldn't of put up with it. just put your foot down and draw a line. he married you so he should always respect u and love u as you are because you are. at least he is showing some remorse and its good that he is seeking help. god forbid he do this agin. u'll both be in my prayers. i hope your marriage goes just as you want it to from now on.
I'm doing my best to keep everything on an even keel. He is the head of the family, I have to remember this. I guess because I married so late in life I got set in my ways. I'm really trying to break that habit and become much more submissive.


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 06:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Thank you sister handmaiden for the tip, to be honest he's not a puncher and he has never given me a black eye. In fact I have never had a bruise that I couldn't explain away with a shrug and a comment about large dogs or clumsiness. I'm rather glad though, because the idea of putting a leech on my eye gives me the absolute willies.

Sister Repented Harlot, yes I did spend a lot of time in prayer. Thank you for that scripture. If things become too much for me at a future time I will follow that Biblical advice and ask to take some time away for fasting and prayer.


I realize that you are an underaged poster so have no idea of what goes on in a marriage. There's an old saying that your happiness no longer matters as soon as you have children, this is true. Everything I do, I do for my boys. Should I send them to public school because it's easier than teaching them at home? Should I plop them in front of the TV because it's easier than dealing with them? Should I feed them freezer food because it's easier than cooking a proper meal? Then why should I force them into poverty?


I'm doing my best to keep everything on an even keel. He is the head of the family, I have to remember this. I guess because I married so late in life I got set in my ways. I'm really trying to break that habit and become much more submissive.
Repented harlot? i was a harlot? i thought you couldnt be a virgin and a harlot, but ok? thanks? well i know u do all you can for your boys, but if you dont take care of yourself, who will take care of them the way a mother does? they say the house is at the mothers feet. if you fall ur family will suffer. your going through what my grandmother went through many years ago. she took a stand and showed her strength as a women. i learned that women are to be greatly respected. after all, we keep the world populated. the men in my family know that laying hands on a women is wrong and i think laying hands on anyone is bad. have you talked to him and told him how you feel/ maybe he can tell you what bothers him and you can tell him what bothers you. its alwasy best to look at each others opinion and both come to a compromise. u shouldnt do all the compromising. its a marriage after all and your both partners in this world till death do u part, under god and all the angels that helped bring you two together and helped give you the family that you have now. its lovly that you want to work things out. that shows you are strong and loyal to your family. i'm happy for you because you have this to keep you going and you dont give up. keep trying for your sons, you strong women of god.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 06:48 AM

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Originally Posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
Repented harlot? i was a harlot? i thought you couldnt be a virgin and a harlot, but ok? thanks?
Okay, so you're also self centred. Before making any judgments, would you look at the name of the person who posted above you. Her name (on here) is Repented Harlot.


Quote:
well i know u do all you can for your boys, but if you dont take care of yourself, who will take care of them the way a mother does? they say the house is at the mothers feet. if you fall ur family will suffer.
I am taking a stand. By staying where I am I can afford to actually take care of my boys rather than forcing them to live in a rat infested hole while I work 2 full time jobs just to keep a roof over their head.



Quote:
your going through what my grandmother went through many years ago. she took a stand and showed her strength as a women. i learned that women are to be greatly respected. after all, we keep the world populated.
You do realize that we need men to do that right? Or do you think we pick babies from the cabbage patch under the blue moon?


Quote:
the men in my family know that laying hands on a women is wrong and i think laying hands on anyone is bad. have you talked to him and told him how you feel/ maybe he can tell you what bothers him and you can tell him what bothers you.
Oh, goodie, then maybe we could knit a quilt together and talk about our feelings. I'm getting the feeling that you were not raised in a Christian home. The Bible is very specific about the roles that we are to take. Even if I did leave my husband, I would probably not divorce him (unless he asked for it) and I would definitely not remarry. I just couldn't, it would be so wrong.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

So it is Christ's job to rebuke my husband if he is wrong, and it is my husbands duty to rebuke me if I am wrong.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

I am to submit to my husband.


Quote:
its alwasy best to look at each others opinion and both come to a compromise. u shouldnt do all the compromising. its a marriage after all and your both partners in this world till death do u part, under god and all the angels that helped bring you two together and helped give you the family that you have now. its lovly that you want to work things out. that shows you are strong and loyal to your family. i'm happy for you because you have this to keep you going and you dont give up. keep trying for your sons, you strong women of god.
Thank you? I'm a little confused by your statements.


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-14-2010, 02:43 PM

Oh, sister, you are so right on so many points-- and so blessed!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post

I am taking a stand. By staying where I am I can afford to actually take care of my boys rather than forcing them to live in a rat infested hole while I work 2 full time jobs just to keep a roof over their head.
This person clearly does not seem to appreciate that the Good Lord, in His Wisdom, made men and women unequal in economic matters as well as spiritual and physical. This, of course, is to prevent us from running off and supporting ourselves whenever we are tempted to rebel over the tiniest little rebuke.

Quote:

Oh, goodie, then maybe we could knit a quilt together and talk about our feelings. I'm getting the feeling that you were not raised in a Christian home. The Bible is very specific about the roles that we are to take. Even if I did leave my husband, I would probably not divorce him (unless he asked for it) and I would definitely not remarry. I just couldn't, it would be so wrong.
Oh, sister, you know that one does not knit a quilt! Or are you so out of practice that you have neglected to knit your husband's socks? Perhaps you could visit among the Amish (but not for too long! ) for a refresher on quilting?

I certainly agree with you on the remarrying point. My own former husband, a self-proclaimed Bible-Believing Christian ( though I have my doubts now, based on the number of things he let me get away with ) has remarried a somewhat younger woman than myself. I have not remarried and this as the Lord would deem fit.

Quote:


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

So it is Christ's job to rebuke my husband if he is wrong, and it is my husbands duty to rebuke me if I am wrong.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

I am to submit to my husband.

Truly you present God's Owm Truth.

Submitting to a husband can be difficult, but the alternative is no picnic, either. Praise God that you have a husband to rebuke you. I do not; and I must seek out rebukes from the brothers here, and they don't always have the time to do it thoroughly.

Because this is a cyber connection, meanings can often become unclear. Having a husband right there, who can administer some just physical correction makes the learning process so much more direct.

Thanks for sharing your deservedly humbling experience and the important lessons that you have learned.

Impressedly Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 12:15 AM

Dear Handmaiden I under stand you are with out a man to keep you in line. If you feel the need to be disciplined for any reason stop by my home day or night and I will be glad to help you. Its my duty as a Christian to give you a hand if you need it.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 12:23 AM

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Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Dear Handmaiden I under stand you are with out a man to keep you in line. If you feel the need to be disciplined for any reason stop by my home day or night and I will be glad to help you. Its my duty as a Christian to give you a hand if you need it.
Do you mean a hand or a fist?

And just exactly how hard can you hit?

Because I am one stubborn mama.


Stubbornly Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 12:30 AM

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Originally Posted by handmaiden View Post
Do you mean a hand or a fist?

And just exactly how hard can you hit?

Because I am one stubborn mama.


Stubbornly Yours,

Handmaiden
Generally I find that a open hand on the bare bottom does the trick. If need be I do have a barber strap that will prevent you from sitting for at least 5 hours. YIC James
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Smile Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 03:53 AM

1 Peter 3

1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.


I hope these verses give you some strength, BelieverInGod. I know it isn't easy, but submission is so very worthwhile. I find that if I go to my husband about every little thing, more times than I can count he will leave the decision up to me. It took a few years for it to happen, but eventually he decided that he had me trained well enough to anticipate his every need. The only exception is clothing--he is always very decisive about my clothes, both the buying and the wearing. It really is nice not to fret over what to wear.

Our home will be praying for you and yours fervently.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 04:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by repented harlot70 View Post
1 Peter 3

1Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

3Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel;

4But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

5For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

7Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.


I hope these verses give you some strength, BelieverInGod. I know it isn't easy, but submission is so very worthwhile. I find that if I go to my husband about every little thing, more times than I can count he will leave the decision up to me. It took a few years for it to happen, but eventually he decided that he had me trained well enough to anticipate his every need. The only exception is clothing--he is always very decisive about my clothes, both the buying and the wearing. It really is nice not to fret over what to wear.

Our home will be praying for you and yours fervently.
Thank you sister,

I think one of my biggest issues is my husbands job. Most weeks he leaves Monday morning and does not return until Friday afternoon. This leaves me in charge of the household basically 5 days of the week. I have a routine and find it very difficult to hand control back over when he is around. I often find myself feeling resentment because he is upsetting my routine.


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 04:12 AM

I don't know how you do it.

You are so strong for having to deal with such separation on a weekly basis.

I am completely at a loss for what to say.

All I can think of to do is lift you up in prayer and trust that God will do what's best in your family.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 05:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BelieverInGod View Post
Okay, so you're also self centred. Before making any judgments, would you look at the name of the person who posted above you. Her name (on here) is Repented Harlot.



I am taking a stand. By staying where I am I can afford to actually take care of my boys rather than forcing them to live in a rat infested hole while I work 2 full time jobs just to keep a roof over their head.




You do realize that we need men to do that right? Or do you think we pick babies from the cabbage patch under the blue moon?



Oh, goodie, then maybe we could knit a quilt together and talk about our feelings. I'm getting the feeling that you were not raised in a Christian home. The Bible is very specific about the roles that we are to take. Even if I did leave my husband, I would probably not divorce him (unless he asked for it) and I would definitely not remarry. I just couldn't, it would be so wrong.

1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

So it is Christ's job to rebuke my husband if he is wrong, and it is my husbands duty to rebuke me if I am wrong.

Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord

I am to submit to my husband.




Thank you? I'm a little confused by your statements.
sorry. i was writing a paper and replying to you at the same time. so i was a bit flustered due to the fact that it is a big part of my grade. anyways, y submit to your husband as unto the lord? your husband is not a lord but a person who makes mistakes just as you do. you were not wrong. and i dont know why you are so concentrated on making your home a sexist place. men and women are equal. at least i am and i am proud to say i win my bread, take care of my home, fight for my rights and devote myself to god as well as any man, if not better. and why not knit together? maybe it could be a relaxing couples activity. you should consider going out golfing or something. its nice to include each other in activities as well as have time apart. you dont need a man to work for you when you are perfectly able to do so for yourself. and your thinking of hard labor. with a good education, you dont work hard and make a lot of money anyways. money that can be spent on giving your boys the best and maybe even letting your husband take a vacation from his job for a day or two. having finial stability also coming from the women from the women would certainly benefit the family. isnt it stressful on your husband to do all the work out side of the home? why not split the work? this clears time for you and your partner to have more time with your children. i hope you know all i say to you is a suggestion that i have seen help others in a marriage. a nice thing to say is "thank you for the suggestion but no thank you." oh, and i was raised in a Christian home.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 05:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
sorry. i was writing a paper and replying to you at the same time. so i was a bit flustered due to the fact that it is a big part of my grade. anyways, y submit to your husband as unto the lord?
Because the Bible tells me to? Did you miss the scripture? Would you like more?

Genesis 2:24:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Genesis 3:16:
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

1 Peter 3:1:
Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

Ephesians 5:22-24:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.



Quote:
your husband is not a lord but a person who makes mistakes just as you do. you were not wrong. and i dont know why you are so concentrated on making your home a sexist place.
I'm not making my home sexist, I am making it Godly home, which means following the Bible.



Quote:
men and women are equal. at least i am and i am proud to say i win my bread, take care of my home, fight for my rights and devote myself to god as well as any man, if not better. and why not knit together? maybe it could be a relaxing couples activity.
How can you say you devote yourself to God when you don't follow his rules? He's pretty clear on the man-woman thing. As for knitting with my husband (sorry Sister Handmaiden, you are right, I was just typing without thinking) I want a real man. I want a man who puts meat on the table, literally.


Quote:
you should consider going out golfing or something.
Why? I'm not good at golf. I don't enjoy golf.


Quote:
its nice to include each other in activities as well as have time apart.
So I should take up golfing because he likes it? He should take up sewing because I like it? No thanks.

Quote:
you dont need a man to work for you when you are perfectly able to do so for yourself.
Again with the calling me lazy. I put this thread on here to ask for help from my Brothers and Sisters in Christ, you come on here and tell me that I'm lazy because I don't work outside the home and that I'm forcing my husband to work for me?


Quote:
and your thinking of hard labor. with a good education, you dont work hard and make a lot of money anyways.
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

You really think this? Do you realize how many hours that Doctors and Lawyers put in? My husband currently holds 3 degrees yet he's on the road 150-200 days of the year. What am I supposed to do with my boys while I get this education? Put them in suspended animation?

Oh, and FYI, the average house in Vancouver is now $750,000, average rent is $1150. Minimum wage is $5/hr. You do the math and tell me I'm not going to need two full time jobs just to put my boys in some east end crack house basement. You tell me what kind of life they're going to have there.

Face it, you're just too young to understand these things.



Quote:
money that can be spent on giving your boys the best and maybe even letting your husband take a vacation from his job for a day or two. having finial stability also coming from the women from the women would certainly benefit the family. isnt it stressful on your husband to do all the work out side of the home? why not split the work? this clears time for you and your partner to have more time with your children. i hope you know all i say to you is a suggestion that i have seen help others in a marriage. a nice thing to say is "thank you for the suggestion but no thank you." oh, and i was raised in a Christian home.
So you think because I get a job, my husbands boss is going to say "well that's okay then, the Northern accounts aren't important, hey so what if someone dies because the equipment hasn't been repaired." Sure, I'm sure his boss (who works from 5:00 AM to 8:00 PM because of time zones) will gladly say that.

And if I'm working all day, whose taking care of my boys? The secular education system? Where they will learn everything about drugs and sex but nothing about how to read and write? What do you think I do all day? I have 3 boys, dogs, birds, cats, a house, and a lot of other things to take care of. I home school, I cook real food, and I keep the house clean.

I can't believe you were raised Christian, I just can't believe it. Unless you have broken your parents heart by totally abandoning your faith.


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 06:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
sorry. i was writing a paper and replying to you at the same time. so i was a bit flustered due to the fact that it is a big part of my grade.
So, if the paper is such a large part of your grade, why are you dividing your attention between it and this forum? You do realize that you are currently covering the same argument on two threads at the same time as writing this important paper?

This isn't the proper venue for me to declare my sentiments over the myth of multi-tasking. ( I suspect it to be of Satan since it is ruining the world ) But come on-- do one thing at a time and try to do it well. Do two (or more) things at once and you can't even do a half-(another word for donkey) job of it. No wonder your arguments are weak and unsupported.

And do not tell me that you are going to hand in a paper that is as poorly written as your posts. If you get a passing grade on something like that I will picket your school and bribe someone to rescind its accreditation.

Anyway, even though the poor horse was beaten to death hours ago and is now rotting in the sun I will make one more effort, You talk a lot about God and your personal experience. Frankly, it sounds as though you are not willing to stretch yourself beyond reading the warm and fuzzy, feel good parts of the Bible. Congratulations. Your powers of self-delusion are even more developed than your skill at multi-tasking. Neither of these do you credit.

Yawningly Yours,

Handmaiden


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-15-2010, 12:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by theonetheonlyme View Post
and i dont know why you are so concentrated on making your home a sexist place.
Sexist? What does that have to do with anything? The word 'sexism' is just a by-product of the feminazi witch agenda. Nobody takes those bitter and miserable old harridans seriously. All those megaphone-yelling witches want to do is slaughter unborn babies and convert everyone to lesbianism. Jealous bulldykes, the lot of them.

You would do well to put such useless words out of your vocabulary.


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-18-2010, 10:16 AM

The next time your husband tries to beat you, to protect yourself try to beat him off.
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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-18-2010, 10:56 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Barnabus View Post
The next time your husband tries to beat you, to protect yourself try to beat him off.
Huh? She should accept her well deserved beating and improve herself to prevent another one!


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-19-2010, 12:13 AM

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The next time your husband tries to beat you, to protect yourself try to beat him off.
I know what you're getting at and it's not funny. Do you think that marital issues are a joke?


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Default Re: Help - my husband beat me up - what can I do? - 05-19-2010, 12:54 AM

Like any advice, it's your choice to take it or leave it. It would take his mind off of batting you around though. I suppose Mr Cranky is right, take what you have coming as God commands like the decent Christian woman that you are.
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