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Default God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 03:56 AM

A few days ago, the weather forecasters, who foolishly try to divine God's plans, were predicting rather normal weather for the godless northeast region of America. Today, God decided to cover the entire region with several feet of snow. Those Yankees are somewhat resourceful, so I doubt they will all freeze, but I expect there will be a thinning of their heathen population. His will be done.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 04:01 AM

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Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
but I expect there will be a thinning of their heathen population. His will be done.
Well thank God! It's about time!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 12:45 PM

Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 01:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
Jesus does not smite His own, idiot.

Has it not dawned on you that there are a lot of atheist meth addicts in that area?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 04:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
Lol wat if you go by that logic then god hates the christian Midwest all those tornados every year
There has also been a tornado tearing through your brain in the form of pot smoke, destroying all brain cells in its path. Put down the marijuana cigarette and pick up a KJV1611.


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in 2016

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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-27-2015, 09:49 PM

You are right. God made us tough..


Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 03:10 AM

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Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
You are right. God made us tough..
No doubt that there was a lot of praying going on out in the Northeast, and things are looking up. The Godly Republicans are now in control of the House and the Senate, and the Holy Spirit did guide you here to the Landover Baptist Forums for a reason. Jesus is sending all a message about His Salvation® and has some hope about your final destination.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 03:47 AM

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Originally Posted by alooneymormon View Post
You are right. God made us tough..

No, I said resourceful. Yankees are about as tough as the French. There are a few bad ones with knives, but most are sissies. You have the tenacity of rats. I believe it is the Jew influence. God hates you and people like you. Hell is full of your tribe.


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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 03:56 AM

Yankees are the product of every race that God hates interbreeding. The absolute worst qualities of each of those races are combined into one foulmouthed mongrel race unfit for decent society. While evolution is an outright lie, Yankees show that humans can indeed devolve into subhuman ranks through indiscriminate racial fornication.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 01:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr Laurence Niles View Post
Jesus does not smite His own, idiot.

Has it not dawned on you that there are a lot of atheist meth addicts in that area?

YIC
Has it not dawned on you that the conservative south has a pretty bad meth reputation as well?
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 01:30 PM

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Originally Posted by VictoryOS View Post
There has also been a tornado tearing through your brain in the form of pot smoke, destroying all brain cells in its path. Put down the marijuana cigarette and pick up a KJV1611.
I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 01:42 PM

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Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work
Stolen valor is serious business, kid.



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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 01:46 PM

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Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
I think you have been misinformed on Mary Jane for I use for a legit medical reason suffering PTSD fighting in a war we had no business being in the first place, alternative forms of pot do not work



God will send you to Hell for lying. The marijuana has ruined your ability to write a sensible sentence. Your structure is on a third grade level and you are lying about going off and fighting the Viet Cong.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Angry Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 02:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
God will send you to Hell for lying. The marijuana has ruined your ability to write a sensible sentence. Your structure is on a third grade level and you are lying about going off and fighting the Viet Cong.
You do realize I'm 29 years old so how could I fight the Vietnam Cong. Are you saying I'm a Time traveling phantom, your either a special kind of stupid or did you think the Vietnam war is still being fought today, btw a lot of military don't agree with the war either so don't go calling me a fraud becuase of that


Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 03:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
You do realize I'm 29 years old so how could I fight the Vietnam Cong. Are you saying I'm a Time traveling phantom, your either a special kind of stupid or did you think the Vietnam war is still being fought today, btw a lot of military don't agree with the war either so don't go calling me a fraud becuase of that
Post a scan of your DD-214.



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The Lord's Archer The Lord's Archer is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 04:11 PM



I better start moving, as I live on Long Island! Luckily, my rent is paid up, so I can start packing ASAP.
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 04:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Lord's Archer View Post


I better start moving, as I live on Long Island! Luckily, my rent is paid up, so I can start packing ASAP.
What is so funny in that, mister?
Having sinners like Ron Jeremy and Lindsay Lohan as a neighbor is not funny at all.

Have you told them to stop?
Romans 1:32
1 Timothy 5:20-22

Stop seeing them!!!
1 Corinthians 5:9
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The Lord's Archer The Lord's Archer is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 04:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
What is so funny in that, mister?
Having sinners like Ron Jeremy and Lindsay Lohan as a neighbor is not funny at all.

Have you told them to stop?
Romans 1:32
1 Timothy 5:20-22

Stop seeing them!!!
1 Corinthians 5:9
I never meant for it to be funny, I was only glad about my rent. I'm sorry that it came off as me trying to crack a joke!
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AtheistPolesmoker's Avatar
AtheistPolesmoker AtheistPolesmoker is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 04:46 PM

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Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.
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The Lord's Archer The Lord's Archer is offline
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Default Re: God Hates Yankees, Decided to Bury Them All! Glory! - 01-28-2015, 05:00 PM

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Originally Posted by AtheistPotsmoker View Post
Look, man, this isn't exactly the place to post that. Maybe you should find a soldier's forumn?
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