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Default Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-27-2009, 04:42 PM

Dear fellow True Christians™,

I have been gone for some time as you all know on a very special missionary mission to Europe. But, as only the LBC senior pastors and LBU Creation Science Board of Directors were aware, I was also keeping tabs on a particular group of ultra satanic atheist scientists. I am happy to say that my mission is complete and I will be returning to the good ole U.S. this coming Monday.

Last year the Allied Atheist Alliance (A3) threatened the entire world with the completion of their Large Hardon Collider. This devious device, constructed between France and Switzerland (God, help us!), as if to signify it was a point of geological sodomy between the smug surrender monkeys and the cowardly neutrality gibbons, aimed to open a portal to the depths of Hell itself. This horrendous portal would emanate the despotic Higgs Boson particle, blasphemously referred to as the "god particle" to the public, but known in the inner scientific community as the "gay particle". These microscopic demons, or "particles", would spread out over the entire world in all directions simultaneously, seeping through rock, concrete and flesh. Yes, flesh! Imagine your every orifice being assaulted. Every dark crevice invaded and defiled. There would literally be one of those chinkoid hotel orgies occurring within each and every single man, woman, child and infant. Except it would be a gay orgy!!! And then to top it all off, once the mass of the gay particles reached a critical junction an earth-hell imbalance will occur which would pull all the micro demons back into Hell. This will pull every infected form of matter with it. Yes, Satan planned to suck every last denizen of Earth into Hell in what scientist call a "Black Hole".



Obviously, there is a threat. Clearly, we are being lied to. Allow me to go over a few points.

1.) How do you LOOK for INVISIBLE matter?

2.) If gay particles have been bombarding us for centuries how come we aren't all gay?

3.) If gay particles are indeed bombarding us at this very moment why spend 10 billion euros constructing the LHC? Why not just pick a spot somewhere and monitor it for particle collisions?

4.) Aren't scientist always claiming these are particles small enough to pass through matter? Wouldn't the stray "intergalactic particles" that are constantly bombarding us get inside the LHC and mess up the experiment?

5.) If the scientists know that it is completely harmless, then why bother with the experiment? If you already know everything what's the point?

6.) As you will see in the next video they had to make a choice to homosexualize the particles. The particles weren't born that way. But if gay particles (lone gay "protons") are bombarding Earth, shouldn't they natural pick up their naturally partner lesbian particles (feminine "electrons") and become heterosexual particles? In other words, the claim that gay particles are exploding everywhere cannot be true.

If you are confused about this particle talk, let it be known that we already know that atoms don't really exist. Click HERE for details. So what exactly are these particles they are colliding? I'll tell you. It's the divine substance of nature sexual orientation as God intended. The feminine joined with the masculine. This is proof positive that homosexuality is a choice because there are no lone "electrons" or "protons" making up anything.

If you're still not convinced that it is homosexual sorcerer look at this:



1.) The commentator is clearly a homosexual effeminate.

2.) The "electron" (feminine principle) is separated from the "proton" (masculine principle). This all proton particle orgy goes against nature.

3.) Starting at 1:25 you can almost feel the sexual tension. I nearly climaxed in my pants at 1:58!!! Luckily, as a True Christian the power of Satan could not overcome me, but unsaved trash will be instantly defiled.

4.) You can clearly see that this machine is channeling the circles of Hell as these homosexual protons get more and more hot and heavy.

5.) At the final circles of Hell the homosexual protons are given roles. An obvious assignment of gender roles. The blue protons are the pitcher (bears) and the pink protons are the catchers (effeminates).

6.) Then they produce "subatomic" sodomy at four points which opens portals to Hell, showering the world in gay particles.

7.) Notice at 5:58 the international homosexual rainbow symbology is displayed as the result of the collision of sodomite particles.

8.) The atheists involved are clearly fans of The Divine Comedy. Notice that there are 9 circles. 4 occurring in the booster stage, 1 occuring at the proton synchrotron, 1 at the super proton synchrotron and 2 in the LHC itself. The last occurring at the sodomy collison point in which the "rings" of the infamous Ring Theory are supposed to manifest. Those being the rainbow symbols I mentioned. In reality, they are Hellgates.

Now that you've had a refresher course I'll get to my point. In May 2008 the Allied Atheist Alliance was poised to send the world into utter chaos. It was like the plotline of a bad Hollywood summer blockbuster that would have been #1 in the secular jewish box office. But we at Landover Baptist Church turned the tide. Our prayers saved the world. It is our prayers that sparked the infinite compassion of Jesus to spare our despicable lives. But the A3 was not going to give up without a fight which is extremely out of character for France and Switzerland. Satan ordered them to repair the damage Jesus, through our prayers, wrought. The A3 scheduled to try activate it again on September 2008. But we would not sit back and witness the world sink into homosexual anarchy, amoral lawlessness and darwinistic bestiality. We prayed our hearts out because we love the people of the world so very much and Jesus answered our prayers once again ripping the LHC's super magnets out of their hinges and neutralizing Satan's massive hardon from colliding. But the battle of planet Earth is not over. It's been keep hush hush because the A3 doesn't want us to thwart them again, but the LHC is scheduled to be turned on in mid November!!!

We must stand up to Satan's schemes once again! We will not see the world sucked into Hell! We will not stand by and watch the entire world become homosexualized! We will bow our heads and PRAY!!!

HALLELUJAH!!!!
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-27-2009, 08:54 PM

Hardon Collider? Is this a new tool Satan will use to rape decent, white Christian gals?




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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-27-2009, 09:39 PM

That thing with the thrusting motions from 1:25 to 2:00; vile.





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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-28-2009, 12:53 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
Hardon Collider? Is this a new tool Satan will use to rape decent, white Christian gals?
Gals, guys, children and babies!!! White, black, yellow, red, brown, green, purple, pink, blue - the microdemons do not care. They will invade every orifice! No nook or cranny will be spared. In your case it will be like thousands of succubus having wet, hot, sticky scissor action over every inch of your body. You'll have this taste of tuna and clam cowder in your mouth that just won't go away!! It would be absolutely horrible, sister!!! Just HORRIBLE!!!

You might even get the AIDS!!!! That's why we have to PRAY.
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-28-2009, 01:14 AM

Dirty faggots, we should have nuked them when we had the chance


Upon the wicked he shall rain snares, fire and brimstone, and an horrible tempest: this shall be the portion of their cup. (Psalm 11:6)

GOD HATES FAGS
Romans 1:18-32, 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, 1 Timothy 1:8-11, Jude 7, etc
DEATH PENALTY FOR FAGS

WHITE AND PROUD
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-29-2009, 03:08 AM

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Originally Posted by Brother Hank View Post
Dirty faggots, we should have nuked them when we had the chance
Hopefully, when the Muslims finally take over slowly immigrate to the point that they are the majority in those gutless, cowardly, pushover countries and convert them to Islamic sharia law they will revert back to the stone age and we shouldn't have to worry about them building Hellgates anymore.

I just need to know that True Christians™ are praying for the failure of that LHC monstrousity because Jesus sure doesn't give a rat's behind about anyone else's prayers but ours.
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-29-2009, 06:52 AM

mr.Brooks, i thinks 5:37 -5:46 show them liddle Liberace protons wiv jewels on an full of prides that they look real good , they kinda do a boogie-woogie as they travels , i thinks they look smugs, it be a gay proton pride parades an i bets they gives themselfs lurve bites wiv them vacuum pipes

true Christain proton ---><--- pink homer proton


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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-29-2009, 07:07 AM

Goodness me! I was sadly educated by Heathen Darwinists, who taught me the secular "scientific" version of particle physics. Thank JESUS Landover Baptist is here to show me the LIES these Evil-Utionists taught me in the name of thier socialist agenda "Education".

It is truely SHOCKING and PAINFUL to have one's view of "reality" turned upside-down like this, but with the help of Landover Baptist Scientists, I PRAY that True logic and rationality will be mine to understand from now on.

Thank you, Landover Baptist! Praise GOD!
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-29-2009, 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
mr.Brooks, i thinks 5:37 -5:46 show them liddle Liberace protons wiv jewels on an full of prides that they look real good , they kinda do a boogie-woogie as they travels , i thinks they look smugs, it be a gay proton pride parades an i bets they gives themselfs lurve bites wiv them vacuum pipes

true Christain proton ---><--- pink homer proton

Good eye, Petal! You are clearly ahead of your female peers when it comes to intellectual insightfulness.

For lone gay protons it is very disturbing that they have all those gaudy "jewels" on. Clearly, whatever is it's not a representing a proton, neutron and electron because it has already been established that the only thing traveling through those tubes are gay protons. The Allied Atheist Alliance have grown so smug that they are blatantly dropping hints. I guess our new president has the forces of Satan feeling pretty smug and confident. Further evidence that Barack Hussien Obama is the anti-Christ.

Our prayers do make a difference. Look at the theory these scientist are pulling out of their behinds to explain God's intervention on our behalf without just coming out and stating that God, prompted by the prayers of LBC, foiled their plans.

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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 10-30-2009, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joshua Brooks View Post
Our prayers do make a difference. Look at the theory these scientist are pulling out of their behinds to explain God's intervention on our behalf without just coming out and stating that God, prompted by the prayers of LBC, foiled their plans.
the man saids that when the machine broked down it were a wiring fawlt, not the universes. i thinks this be a sneaky way of sayings that homer folk just wired differint from non-homer folk, an that be a big fat lie cuz homerism be a sin that folk choose to do, it true

i were gonna prays for lord God to send a bunch of bootiful girl electrons to turn them gay protons strait, but now i kinda worrieds that they all just gonna be bestest of freinds insteads an gossip an shop an club an stuff

faghag electron ---> <--- an that be her fagbag proton
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 11-12-2009, 06:27 PM

GREAT NEWS!!! Your prayers are working. For all the atheist, liberals and other secularist trash who don't believe in miracles: Eat it and weep!!! Jesus gave the Large Hardon Collider a black eye by having a bird dive bomb it with a crumb. Praise His holy name!!!

Quote:
The LHC is recovering from a serious overheating problem, caused by a piece of stale bread dropped by a bird onto an apparently unprotected thermal vent. Impossible, you say?

Not impossible. I used to bulls-eye whomp rats in my T-16 back home.

While it’s not about to be mistaken for a moon any time soon, the Large Hadron Collider probably is the closest thing we’ve got to the Death Star. With miles of passages, the capability to destroy a planet, and a bunch of people dressed in white scooting around inside, it’s actually a pretty good fit. So it’s no surprise that it has the same weakness. Concerned only with interference from cosmic radiation and nearby townspeople, the structure was built underground — but they didn’t count on the possibility of a clumsy bird with a bit of baguette making the trench run and hitting it where the least expected it.

The absurdity of this failure makes me think that maybe the LHC really is so abhorrent to nature that the universe is contriving to snuff it out.
http://www.crunchgear.com/2009/11/05/breaking-large-hadron-collider-shut-down-by-precision-bird-strike/
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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 11-12-2009, 09:07 PM

I'll bet the bird was a Raven; the one Noah sent out of the ark and it never came back. God has been keeping it alive for this very purpose.





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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 11-13-2009, 12:23 AM

This just further proves that scientists don't know what they're doing and are just playing with fire with the LHC. Here is a machine with the capability of destroying the entire world...yet it this mighty machine is stopped by a mere bird with a bread crumb? Think of how many more things can go wrong and it inadvertently causes massive catostrophe!

A simple water drop could make it blow up?

What about a scientist sneezing?

Maybe a "slight computer error" causes it to lock up and tear a hole in space and time?

The possibilities are endless. The LHC needs to be destroyed!



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Default Re: Satan's Large Hardon Collider Rears Itself Again - 11-14-2009, 05:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
This just further proves that scientists don't know what they're doing and are just playing with fire with the LHC. Here is a machine with the capability of destroying the entire world...yet it this mighty machine is stopped by a mere bird with a bread crumb? Think of how many more things can go wrong and it inadvertently causes massive catostrophe!

A simple water drop could make it blow up?

What about a scientist sneezing?

Maybe a "slight computer error" causes it to lock up and tear a hole in space and time?

The possibilities are endless. The LHC needs to be destroyed!
Or what if Al-Qaeda is behind all of it?

Quote:
France has arrested a researcher at the European Organization for Nuclear Research (Cern) for suspected links with al-Qaeda, officials have said.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/8299668.stm

Just look at the name.

Ceuropean
Eorganization
Rnuclear
Nresearch

Something isn't right here. What does CERN really stand for? Where is Glenn Beck on this subject? He has a very abstract way of seeing things which gives him a glimpse into the finer Truths of reality.
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