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Default Labor Saving Devices Get Women To Hell 3 Times Faster!!! - 06-20-2013, 04:25 AM

Modern conveniences are all around us. Microwave ovens, vacuum cleaners, fast food. All supposedly designed to make our lives easier. But this is not God's Plan for us. No, far from it. These so called labor saving devices are in fact soul corrupting devices!

God expects us to work, and work hard. Even Jesus worked. Our Lord and Savior was a humble carpenter who also did God's work!

John 4:34 Jesus saith unto them, My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish his work.

Now if Jesus was building fine tables and chairs while teaching the Apostles, healing the sick, evangelizing from town to town, and casting out demons, do any of you think that God expects you to be sitting idle? Think again, buster! Our beloved, historically accurate, and one billion percent infallible King James Bible has plenty to say about work! Just take a small sample of what God says about work and the affront onto God that is sitting still!


Proverbs 14:23 In all labor there is profit: but the talk of the lips tendeth only to penury.


Proverbs 6:9 How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?


Proverbs 18:9 He also that is slothful in his work is brother to him that is a great waster.

Now we all know that it is a man's job to spread God's Word. See, I'm doing God's plan for me to work right now! Every minute of every day I am laboring with love for God Eternal! And I see many of the men-folk here doing the same. We reach out with Christian compassion to the sinners, the wayward sheep. We struggle mightily against Satan himself to redeem their souls. We face persecution and ridicule for our loving efforts, proving the bible Inerrant once again, as God foresaw this.

John 15:20 Remember the word that I said unto you, The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept my saying, they will keep yours also.

This is all well and good, but what about our lesser halves? How do our help-mates fit into God's Grand Plan? Moreover, how are we helping them when we in our assumed kindness buy them a washing machine or microwave? What are we really doing when we give them a blender or steam mop? I'll tell you what we are doing. We are speeding their decent into hell!

Now we know from Eve that a woman left to her own devices will be up to no good in a short amount of time. She will gossip, plot, scheme, and speculate what she would look like in a pair of jeans. Why on God's Green Earth then would we consider stocking their kitchens with Soul Damning Devices? Those women need to be busy little bees. Churning butter, weaving cloth, and baking pies will keep their hands busy and their minds free from sin.

When I first married the missus, the first few months were troubling indeed. She was raised Lutheran, which we all know is one step away from being pagan. Though it broke my heart, there were several times in which I was forced to tell her something twice before she got the Lord's message. Even 2 months before our first anniversary she still wasn't fully Godly. I was sitting at the dinner table when I noticed that it was six oh one and dinner still wasn't before me. I stood up and cracked my knuckles while walking into the kitchen, intent on instructing her on her womanly duties. She was clutching her nine months ploughed stomach and leaning over the range. A small puddle of liquid pooled on the floor at her feet, and my annoyance rose as I thought I would have to instruct her on this as well.

"My water broke." she told me.

"And the pork chops are about to burn!" I growled.

"Sorry" she said "Could you be a dear and get your shop-vac so I can clean this up before we go to the hospital?"

"Woman," I sighed "You know good and well that shop-vac is for picking up nuts and bolts. It isn't for the kitchen! Now get your mop and sponges and clean this mess up!"

"Yes, sir." she says while getting busy cleaning up the mess she made.

After dinner I get her to the truck and toss in her yarn and knitting needles. If she is going to be flat on her back for an hour or two, she needs to be doing something productive. Our firstborn, little Stonewall, is going to need some booties to keep his feet warm.

Old Doc Roy suggested giving her something for pain while she was in labor, but I refused to be any part of that. No son of mine is going to come into this world with a ready made drug addiction. I did have Doc Roy give me some Vicodin though, as her caterwauling during contractions had given me a headache. After my pride and joy was delivered, the Doc recommended the missus have a day of bed rest. As it was Thursday, I assured him that she would have Sunday off to rest up.

The moral here is not to dispose of your appliances. God let us make those appliances for a reason, after all. God knows that some unlucky men are bachelors who will need those appliances until they marry. God knows that a man may be hungry while the missus is down by the creek doing the laundry, and that man will need a microwave to defrost a TV dinner to hold him over until she puts the clothes away and makes dinner. We men are morally strong, and will use these contraptions wisely and only when needed.

But women are born weak willed and remain as such their entire lives. They will misuse these 'conveniences' and sneak off into the living room to watch television. And we all know that one minute of television can leave a woman indoctrinated by Jew media sponsored liberal socialist feminism. And after that its only a matter of time until the sound of the blender is masking the screams of your children as she is sacrificing them to Satan!

Do the right thing, brethren. Forbid your women-folk these fiendish electrical abominations. Keep their simple minds occupied with honest, Godly labor. We all love our little lesser halves. Don't we owe it to them to guide them into the arms of God and assure their places in heaven?

Glory!


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Labor Saving Devices Get Women To Hell 3 Times Faster!!! - 06-20-2013, 08:07 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Don't we owe it to them to guide them into the arms of God and assure their places in heaven?

Glory!
Oh, dear Brother, your True Christian™ charity is a beautiful sight for a weary world torn apart by liberal lies and entitlement complexes. I know I always feel better when I spend so much time on my knees scrubbing various floors and driveways that blisters burst forth, and blood runs down my legs. Sometimes I imagine what it must have been like to watch the blood that Sweet Jesus spilled at the Pillar, and on the Cross. Oh I just want to weep for the injustice of it all - that He would suffer for someone like me. Me! Why, I don't even deserve the next breath I take, and yet our LORD Jesus Christ suffered and bled, and even died temporarily, just to take on the burden of our sin to appease the system of justice He created in The Beginning. If humanity would only stop and think about this once in a while, we wouldn't have such evil like school shootings and gay pride parades.


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Labor Saving Devices Get Women To Hell 3 Times Faster!!! - 06-20-2013, 10:18 AM

There are no microwaves, televisions, electrical kitchen devices or mechanised looms in the Lizalor household.

I do have a spinning wheel and a sewing machine and no metal is used in food preparation; each spice is ground with wood by hand on stone, slicing dicing scoring (e.g. pork rind) with flint or ceramic knives and the steaming result never fails to delight.

I can recommend spinning as a dual purpose activity, free yarn for knitting and the opportunity to ponder His Word by the fireside even as Jesus cooked by the seaside all those years ago.
JOHN 21
5
Then Jesus saith unto them, Children, have ye any meat? They answered him, No.
6 And he said unto them, Cast the net on the right side of the ship, and ye shall find. They cast therefore, and now they were not able to draw it for the multitude of fishes.
7 Therefore that disciple whom Jesus loved saith unto Peter, It is the Lord. Now when Simon Peter heard that it was the Lord, he girt his fisher's coat unto him, (for he was naked,) and did cast himself into the sea.
8 And the other disciples came in a little ship; (for they were not far from land, but as it were two hundred cubits,) dragging the net with fishes.
9 As soon then as they were come to land, they saw a fire of coals there, and fish laid thereon, and bread.
10 Jesus saith unto them, Bring of the fish which ye have now caught.
11 Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken.
12a Jesus saith unto them, Come and dine.

KJV .. context

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Default Re: Labor Saving Devices Get Women To Hell 3 Times Faster!!! - 06-20-2013, 10:59 AM

I have no electronic device that aids me in my housework,we don't even have a fridge because my husband thought if we had leftovers I would become idle from not cooking dinner, I do all my spinning on a spinning wheel which is hundreds of years old. Every childbirth I have had, I have made blankets with King James Bible 1611 verses on it , my youngest son has a blanket with Genesis 9: 25! Adorable!


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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