The Thrifty Christian Business, Investing and Finance Tips for True Christians™ |
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-19-2011, 09:09 PM
Brothers and Sisters, it is with extreme excitement that the World Wide Headquarters of DFAC ( The Dewitt Foundation for the Advancement Of Christianity) will be completed 5 months early. The building as many of you have seen is a 12 story complex. The first floor will be in part a Christian Book store operated by LBC, I hope to lease the remainder for a Christian Restaurant. The remaining 11 stories will be the home of DFAC.
The mission of DFAC is to help wonderful Christian churches like our own LBC spread the word of God. It is funded by myself and a few other Christian Businessmen across America. My partners wish to remain silent about their identities. Currently funding is at a all time high, 1.3 billion dollars.
Due to an all ready over loaded scheduled on my part, I will not be able to run DFAC. So I am soliciting a person to be the face of DFAC.
The person must be above reproach, and a True Christian.
The primary responsibility of the Head of DFAC will be to investigate and fund Christian activities. He/ She will be in charge of all workers at my complex. He/She will be solely responsible for the hiring and firing of employees.
A very generous salary will be given to the individual. DFAC will have a private jet and pilot ( My last years Gulf Stream) at the disposal of the person chosen.
The Pastors at LBC and myself will be making the decision with in the next few months.
Put a resume together and fax it to me. YIC James Dewitt
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God Drunken gay-enabling degenerate
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 439
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: World Famous Napa Valley (40 years)
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 06:57 AM
Congratulations I hope your organization will trane a media outreach person to screen the storys coming from some religious rights churches that defame the homosexual bisexual and lesbian communities and their families. The old fashioned hate speech is not making religion popular in this new day and age and it does not promote a church's 'community' image when outsiders are attacked for no reason except they are human. There is room for all of us that is what America is about. But the hate speech and the needless goating have to stop.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 12:04 PM
Brother James, I'm sure are expecting me to file an application, but, sadly, I cannot.
I carefully did research in my law library and discovered that the principle of non partus tempus outsidus laborious applies, thus affecting my availability for the position.
I also consulted with my fellow jurists and was pleased to discover I can continue my sideline as an Amway representative because I was engaged in that lucrative endeavor prior to my appointment to the bench.
Speaking of which, I am prepared to offer substantial discounts on quantity purchases of supplies to maintain your new edifice. And here I'm talking gold and silver polish, glass cleaner, floor cleaning and polishing supplies, and hand cleaners especially forumlated to de-grease the hands of the messicant cleaning crews you will hire.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God Drunken gay-enabling degenerate
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 439
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: World Famous Napa Valley (40 years)
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
I carefully did research in my law library and discovered that the principle of non partus tempus outsidus laborious applies, thus affecting my availability for the position.
|
what's that? Are you saying you cant get the job on religious grounds that is illegal. If they block you from getting a qualified job because your religion is not like theres you have ways to challenge. Its the same as the house and senate deciding you can't not hire military people because they're gay..cuts both ways. Someone cant refuse to hire you because of religion either across the board.
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 05:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by napa valley nan
what's that? Are you saying you cant get the job on religious grounds that is illegal. If they block you from getting a qualified job because your religion is not like theres you have ways to challenge. Its the same as the house and senate deciding you can't not hire military people because they're gay..cuts both ways. Someone cant refuse to hire you because of religion either across the board.
|
Its my Foundation correct? I can and will hire just whom I please. I will not hire any active HOMOSEXURAL! I will not hire a atheist! I will not hire a Catlik, Mormon, Jew, Wicca, witch or any one other than Baptist. You and or the Federal Government can not and will not change that! Whats next cripples and retards? The person that I hire to run DFAC will adhere to my hiring practices or they will be out of a JOB.
|
|
America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by napa valley nan
what's that? Are you saying you cant get the job on religious grounds that is illegal.
|
Even for Unsaved Trash of the dyke persuasion, you're teetering on the absurd for being dense.
Now, go back and carefully read my post.
No, wait, you've already proved your reading prowess is lacking.
Let me explain:
1. I am a judge in the Freehold judicial system.
2. Therefore I am on the public payroll and subject to the restrictions therein.
3. I am bound by case law from obtraining employment outside of the position I already hold.
4. Even though Brother James already knows I would be the ideal candidate, I posted the above as a courtesy so he will realize he will to choose from lesser applicants.
Now, toddle off to wherever you came from and let us men complete our business.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 08:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Its my Foundation correct? I can and will hire just whom I please. I will not hire any active HOMOSEXURAL! I will not hire a atheist! I will not hire a Catlik, Mormon, Jew, Wicca, witch or any one other than Baptist. You and or the Federal Government can not and will not change that! Whats next cripples and retards? The person that I hire to run DFAC will adhere to my hiring practices or they will be out of a JOB.
|
Ignore that harridan, she's only here to test our resolve.
May I suggest that you make a competition out of the job? Only persons who have subscribed for more than a year to The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper will be eligible to enter.
If you have a particular candidate in mind, give a slightly altered address in the advert and then inform your chosen candidate of the correct address.
I would also remind you of the wisdom of asking for a photograph. You don't want Darkies applying, they get so upset when they are rejected. Also, ask for a list of all schools attended - obviously anyone who went to "St Mary Mother of Jesus, Immaculate Bleeding Heart Queen of Heaven School", etc., will not make the first cut.
|
|
The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 188
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Where ever I lay my head, the Stars are my Blanket
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 08:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Brothers and Sisters, it is with extreme excitement that the World Wide Headquarters of DFAC ( The Dewitt Foundation for the Advancement Of Christianity) will be completed 5 months early. The building as many of you have seen is a 12 story complex. The first floor will be in part a Christian Book store operated by LBC, I hope to lease the remainder for a Christian Restaurant. The remaining 11 stories will be the home of DFAC.
The mission of DFAC is to help wonderful Christian churches like our own LBC spread the word of God. It is funded by myself and a few other Christian Businessmen across America. My partners wish to remain silent about their identities. Currently funding is at a all time high, 1.3 billion dollars.
Due to an all ready over loaded scheduled on my part, I will not be able to run DFAC. So I am soliciting a person to be the face of DFAC.
The person must be above reproach, and a True Christian.
The primary responsibility of the Head of DFAC will be to investigate and fund Christian activities. He/ She will be in charge of all workers at my complex. He/She will be solely responsible for the hiring and firing of employees.
A very generous salary will be given to the individual. DFAC will have a private jet and pilot ( My last years Gulf Stream) at the disposal of the person chosen.
The Pastors at LBC and myself will be making the decision with in the next few months.
Put a resume together and fax it to me. YIC James Dewitt
|
ME!!!
I Am Sledge, I am the Man for the Job. I am like Job, tested by God! I Passed HIS test! Glory to Sledge that God has Given me an A for Effort!
I Cannot be Approached! I can be the HEAD, My Head is STRONG in The LORD!!! My Body was Weak, I had a Cough, but it has Cleared UP. My Lungs are CLEAR!!!
I no longer Wander, I will Stay Put. They told me to Be Quiet and Stay Put!!! And they Gave me Blankets, CLEAN and NEW Blankets!! I have a Platform!!! The Wood was FREE!!! I am Warmer now! I built a ROOF!!!
I need a Salary, the Mowing is slow in the Winter, the Snow covers the LAWNS and they DO NOT Grow! I do not like Celery!!! It tastes Like WATER!!!
I want the JET!!! I used to fly, in Space! But I keep it Under My Hat. I want a new Hat too, the old one is Too Cold.
When I am in Charge, I want a Hat the covers My EARS!!!
I am Sledge, I am a MAN, the Man for the JOB. I have a TRUCK! It is a FORD! I need New Tires!!! I want The JOB!!!
A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!
Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16 A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire
Ignore that harridan, she's only here to test our resolve.
May I suggest that you make a competition out of the job? Only persons who have subscribed for more than a year to The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper will be eligible to enter.
If you have a particular candidate in mind, give a slightly altered address in the advert and then inform your chosen candidate of the correct address.
I would also remind you of the wisdom of asking for a photograph. You don't want Darkies applying, they get so upset when they are rejected. Also, ask for a list of all schools attended - obviously anyone who went to "St Mary Mother of Jesus, Immaculate Bleeding Heart Queen of Heaven School", etc., will not make the first cut.
|
Excellent idea Brother .
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-20-2011, 10:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sledge Riprock
ME!!!
I Am Sledge, I am the Man for the Job. I am like Job, tested by God! I Passed HIS test! Glory to Sledge that God has Given me an A for Effort!
I Cannot be Approached! I can be the HEAD, My Head is STRONG in The LORD!!! My Body was Weak, I had a Cough, but it has Cleared UP. My Lungs are CLEAR!!!
I no longer Wander, I will Stay Put. They told me to Be Quiet and Stay Put!!! And they Gave me Blankets, CLEAN and NEW Blankets!! I have a Platform!!! The Wood was FREE!!! I am Warmer now! I built a ROOF!!!
I need a Salary, the Mowing is slow in the Winter, the Snow covers the LAWNS and they DO NOT Grow! I do not like Celery!!! It tastes Like WATER!!!
I want the JET!!! I used to fly, in Space! But I keep it Under My Hat. I want a new Hat too, the old one is Too Cold.
When I am in Charge, I want a Hat the covers My EARS!!!
I am Sledge, I am a MAN, the Man for the JOB. I have a TRUCK! It is a FORD! I need New Tires!!! I want The JOB!!!
|
Thanks for the umm application. At this time it (THE Job) is only open to highly qualified applicants. Perhaps if that changes we might be able to consider you.
There is a small possibility that I might have a job opening in the janitorial staff, as a supervisor, do you speak messicant or jive ? At any rate I will keep your application on file for 1 year. YIC James Dewitt
|
|
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-21-2011, 12:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Its my Foundation correct? I can and will hire just whom I please. I will not hire any active HOMOSEXURAL! I will not hire a atheist! I will not hire a Catlik, Mormon, Jew, Wicca, witch or any one other than Baptist. You and or the Federal Government can not and will not change that! Whats next cripples and retards? The person that I hire to run DFAC will adhere to my hiring practices or they will be out of a JOB.
|
DewittCorp would like to make a formal statement here and emphasize the fact that our hiring process will be in accordance with all federal laws (including, but not limited to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964). DewittCorp is proud to embrace diversity and all applications will be considered regardless of the applicant's race, color, religion, sex or national origin. *
*Most of those will be "considered" right into the paper shredder though.
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-21-2011, 12:41 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
DewittCorp would like to make a formal statement here and emphasize the fact that our hiring process will be in accordance with all federal laws (including, but not limited to Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964). DewittCorp is proud to embrace diversity and all applications will be considered regardless of the applicant's race, color, religion, sex or national origin.*
*Most of those will be "considered" right into the paper shredder though.
|
As founder and CEO of Dewitt Corp. I make the rules, not the damn Government. Lycia fetch my belt and meet me in my DEN. One of us is in deep trouble and might have overstepped her bounds*
* I need a spanking
|
|
Ex-prostitute on her knees for the Lord Now that she's Saved©, Priceless
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 2,017
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wherever Jesus takes me
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-21-2011, 12:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
As founder and CEO of Dewitt Corp. I make the rules, not the damn Government. Lycia fetch my belt and meet me in my DEN. One of us is in deep trouble and might have overstepped her bounds*
* I need a spanking
|
Private Message for James Dewitt:
Brother, remember how we talked about making statements like that in public? We at least need to pretend to follow the labor laws!
End private transmission.
Yes sir!
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-21-2011, 12:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant
Private Message for James Dewitt:
Brother, remember how we talked about making statements like that in public? We at least need to pretend to follow the labor laws!
End private transmission.
Yes sir!
|
Do not make me say it again!
I know, but I do have to keep face with the Guys, Zeke allready thinks I am pussy whipped. I have been bad, dont make me beg.
|
|
The Lord's Favorite Head Trauma Victim
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 188
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Where ever I lay my head, the Stars are my Blanket
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-22-2011, 01:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
There is a small possibility that I might have a job opening in the janitorial staff, as a supervisor, do you speak messicant or jive ? At any rate I will keep your application on file for 1 year. YIC James Dewitt
|
YES!!!
I can SPEAK LOUD so that all Can Understand ME!!! I can YELL at Mexicans and Negros with God's words IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGES!!!
I found TAPES, in My Wandering Time. Berlitz Tapes, on 8-track, and I listened, I LISTENED Good!!! In Wyoming under a Bridge. A Bridge to My Future! A Bridge to NOW! It is NOW time, Here and Now Time! ALL will hear me now, CAN YOU!?!?
Soon We will ALL Speak and Spell as Children of God! I clean UP nicely, I have TWO mops, one is old, one is a SWIFFER!! They are in My TRUCK, it is a FORD!!!
A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!
Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16 A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!
|
|
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-22-2011, 01:35 AM
I am not doing much this winter, is this part time or would you want more than 2-3 days a week? It would keep me busy, I guess.
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-23-2011, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis
I am not doing much this winter, is this part time or would you want more than 2-3 days a week? It would keep me busy, I guess.
|
Brother Davis I am afraid that this is very much a full time position. Lots of travel. Next week I am flying to Iberia Spain, to look at a stripper club. DFAC might purchase it and turn it into a half way house for whores or a Christian Book Store. I will keep your offer on the books for 1 year. Thanks James
|
|
Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-23-2011, 06:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Brother Davis I am afraid that this is very much a full time position. Lots of travel. Next week I am flying to Iberia Spain, to look at a stripper club. DFAC might purchase it and turn it into a half way house for whores or a Christian Book Store. I will keep your offer on the books for 1 year. Thanks James
|
Brother James, you seem to be having difficulty attracting qualified (and sane) candidates.
I know you expect me to offer myself for the position; as a Pastor and experienced Church Planter, I am certainly more than capable of managing your Foundation. However, I would not be able to begin work for a few months; probably by June, when the building opens, but probably not before.
Have you considered Widow Helen? She was a very successful businesswoman for decades until a certain Amway sucker "Independent Businessman" repeatedly scheduled large events at her establishment and failed to pay his bills. (I bear some of the responsibility, as I told her that she should extend credit to this True Christian™, as surely he would not leave a Christian widow in the lurch. He did.)
She could get the ball rolling until I am able to take over, and then remain as my deputy director. She has excellent human resources skills; in fact, in her youth, she had a career in recruitment. She was a renowned headhunter back in New York City; she then switched to the other side, and worked as one of those people who handle the employees during downsizing. Quite the hatchet lady, she is. Let me tell you, as a man who has seen her in action, when she gets to work, the heads roll!
The Bed & Breakfast was supposed to be her early retirement . . .
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
|
#63 on Forbes'...but #1 in Jesus's Heart
|
|
Posts: 6,234
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold, Ia
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-24-2011, 10:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
Brother James, you seem to be having difficulty attracting qualified (and sane) candidates.
I know you expect me to offer myself for the position; as a Pastor and experienced Church Planter, I am certainly more than capable of managing your Foundation. However, I would not be able to begin work for a few months; probably by June, when the building opens, but probably not before.
Have you considered Widow Helen? She was a very successful businesswoman for decades until a certain Amway sucker "Independent Businessman" repeatedly scheduled large events at her establishment and failed to pay his bills. (I bear some of the responsibility, as I told her that she should extend credit to this True Christian™, as surely he would not leave a Christian widow in the lurch. He did.)
She could get the ball rolling until I am able to take over, and then remain as my deputy director. She has excellent human resources skills; in fact, in her youth, she had a career in recruitment. She was a renowned headhunter back in New York City; she then switched to the other side, and worked as one of those people who handle the employees during downsizing. Quite the hatchet lady, she is. Let me tell you, as a man who has seen her in action, when she gets to work, the heads roll!
The Bed & Breakfast was supposed to be her early retirement . . .
|
Thanks so much for the input. I will have to take a pass on the widow. I have been in touch with a few people in private. I have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 people. As for the Amway dealer(Yes I know who you mean). Lets just say this do not store your Hummer limo at his trailer park. I left mine there for a few weeks with a AM express credit card. In two weeks $249,789.25 in charges, limo on blocks tires gone, engine gone and a lot of weird balloons in the back seat with several empty bottles of tequila.
|
|
Winning Souls in his Winnebago
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,893
Join Date: May 2010
Location: travelling the heartland in my Winnebago.
|
|
Re: DFAC Office Building slated to open June 1, 2011 -
01-24-2011, 11:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt
Thanks so much for the input. I will have to take a pass on the widow. I have been in touch with a few people in private. I have narrowed it down to 2 or 3 people. As for the Amway dealer(Yes I know who you mean). Lets just say this do not store your Hummer limo at his trailer park. I left mine there for a few weeks with a AM express credit card. In two weeks $249,789.25 in charges, limo on blocks tires gone, engine gone and a lot of weird balloons in the back seat with several empty bottles of tequila.
|
Tequila you say, sounds like you had a nest of messicans move in there. I would get the police to check that out, could be a couple still in there under the seats or something..
1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|