[Ezekiel Bathfire]

The question of fossils has bothered Christians for many years. The strongest evidence to date is that Satan hid the fossils to test our faith. This is widely accepted but recently the Landover University Faculty of Antediluvian Research has found evidence of an alternative theory.

I was amongst the first to realize that most fossils are found underground and that, landslides excepted, there is no reason for this to be the case. Where on earth would the dinosaurs (i.e. behemoths) be when they died? Obviously they would be on the ground. And then the real answer came to me inspired by God.

I was in the yard and about to shoot a few Dalmatian puppies that had the wrong number of spots. I pointed the gun at the first one, and shot – as it happened I missed – but all the puppies scattered and they all tried to hide under something.

And there is your answer to this thorny problem! (You’re probably all ahead of me now but that’s still a little late – This happened a few weeks ago and I’ve published.)

Those dogs knew they were about to meet the dog equivalent of the choir invisible and what did they do? They went under something.

This must be the answer – fossils are underground because dinosaurs burrowed – all of them. See the illustration – I have added a man to give some idea of scale.

The dinosaur felt ill, it realized that it was on the way out (just like the puppies), so it returned to its burrow and died – that is why fossils are underground.

Of course, I can hear you ask “Well why are there plant fossils in coal?” The answer, once the Tunneling Theorem is accepted, is obvious – Miners’ wives took them deep underground to make the miners feel at home.

“And birds” I hear you ask?
“Caught by dinosaurs and taken down their burrows to feed the young – see the picture atheist!”

“And fish?”
“Coral caves”

I think this is pretty conclusive and solves a lot of problems.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by Ezekiel Bathfire

...fossils are underground because dinosaurs burrowed – all of them. See the illustration – I have added a man to give some idea of scale...

Excellent scholarship, as usual, Brother in Jesus Christ! Some atheist paleontologists have ridiculed Creation Scientists because "we haven't found dinosaur and human fossils together". Now we have the answer: humans are not fossorial fossils so it is clear why also our remains should be separate. In addition, the question of ecological zonation (large animals could escape the waters of the Flood (Genesis 7:23) to higher ground) also gets a solution. Again, the secular unbelievers have asked "why there are no dinosaur fossils on mountaintops then". Obviously, these Creatures were taken by surprise in their burrows and were thus overtaken by the floodwaters.

Of course, this new finding of yours that was produced by the best methods available (Prayer and Bible study so there is no need to reproduce your results) will have to be implemented in Creation Museum exhibits. Many of them are now outdated. We can clearly see this in the images as follows:



The Behemoth (Job 40:15) of the Duckbill Created Kind would have been in a tunnel and not overground.



The decently-clad woman would have been able to see only the cute head of this Tyrannosaurid Created Kind Behemoth as it peeked from its underground dwelling place. Obviously, Jesus would still have been able to command these magnificent Creatures due to His omnipotent nature (Revelation 19:6).



These are exciting times. The exponential increase in our knowledge of the pre-Flood (Genesis 7) conditions and fauna is going to convert several scientists into True Christianity™. Jesus must be ecstatic!

Philippians 2:16
Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain.



Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Redeemed Papist]

Thank you, Brother.

As with all great leaps of Bible Science® the answer was always staring us in the face awaiting the right focus on Jesus' infallibility as a model for knowledge of the most subtle workings of the world. We just need to always have the inerrancy of the scriptures in mind and the truth will come.

1 Timothy 6:20

O Timothy, keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of science falsely so called: