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Lycia The Repentant's Avatar
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 03:11 PM

Thank you everyone for the congratulations on getting the job, and thank you Brother James sir for hiring me. I'm glad you saw how my previous work experience as an anatomical sales associate will greatly benefit your organization.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LordHaveMercy View Post
You may have talked about this already, but the responsibility for beating Lycia properly will probably have to shift over to you, Brother James. I know you are not married, but as I recall, she is in the practice of receiving regular beatings so she can stay attuned to the correct Christian Woman status.

If you don't have the time, I'm sure one of your younger strapping employees would be able to fit it onto their schedules.
Thank you for your concern, Brother, but Mr. Dewitt has already graciously agreed to make sure I still receive the proper Christian education I didn't get as a heathen child while still performing my job duties. He told me that once I get too old and wrinkly once I am no longer needed at the organization he will make sure I have the proper skills to be able to be pawned off married at a future date.

And Brother Benedict, I am looking forward to you advising me on proper attire. I tried to do it myself but Brother James wasn't happy with the results. Apparently I will occasionally need to wear more than just stockings


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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HTannor's Avatar
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 03:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
If you could help her out that would be great, here are a couple of examples of Business attire. Go to the show if you have time. Make sure she picks something slutty for private dinning.
Well, Brother DeWitt, why didn't you post those pictures before?

Had I realized what forms of attire you were after, I would never have applied for the position since "the look" just isn't me.





Although, I do like the briefcase.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Benedict A. Davis's Avatar
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 10:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Thank you everyone for the congratulations on getting the job, and thank you Brother James sir for hiring me. I'm glad you saw how my previous work experience as an anatomical sales associate will greatly benefit your organization.



Thank you for your concern, Brother, but Mr. Dewitt has already graciously agreed to make sure I still receive the proper Christian education I didn't get as a heathen child while still performing my job duties. He told me that once I get too old and wrinkly once I am no longer needed at the organization he will make sure I have the proper skills to be able to be pawned off married at a future date.

And Brother Benedict, I am looking forward to you advising me on proper attire. I tried to do it myself but Brother James wasn't happy with the results. Apparently I will occasionally need to wear more than just stockings
I am more than happy to help, as you can see from my photo I have tuned down my ''business dress'' on the direction of Brother James. I still can dress to the nines when I am out on the town. I will be happy to share the things I learned with you. As an aside, how do you feel about electric blue and/or neon for casual dress?


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
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HTannor's Avatar
HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 10:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
I am more than happy to help, as you can see from my photo I have tuned down my ''business dress'' on the direction of Brother James.

Plaid becomes you, Brother Davis. Does the new pattern reflect your heritage?

And here I'm thinking ...... Scottish, perhaps? And if so, why the waist-up photo only? Are you hiding the kilt from our eyes?

If you're hiding the kilt, why? Afraid you'll bend over in the airport and some third-world minimum-wage type of TSA agent will discover your goods? And uploads it to Youtube?

And the whole world discovers your short-comings?


Please go back to a tasteful navy blue. It's safer.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

"Credo elvem etiam vivere"

Last edited by James Hutchins; 12-06-2010 at 12:17 AM.
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 10:41 PM

One of my granddaughters is looking for a job. She is ugly and stupid so she might be overqualified. Her mother is also ugly and stupid, I still don't understand how she convinced one of my sons to marry her. My granddaughter can use the money and I hope it will stop her whining for handouts.


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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 10:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Benedict A. Davis View Post
As an aside, how do you feel about electric blue and/or neon for casual dress?
Well, as you may know, I've always been a fan of fluorescent green.

And Brother HTannor, I was not aware you had such a shapely figure or such long, beautiful tresses. Did you used to be a male model, your honor?

I'm not sure the high heels suit you, though.


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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HTannor HTannor is offline
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-05-2010, 11:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
And Brother HTannor, I was not aware you had such a shapely figure or such long, beautiful tresses. Did you used to be a male model, your honor?
.
So nice of you to notice, Sister Lycia. It's true, I was a male model for a short period during my youth.

It became untenable after I found myself regularly approached by people named "Bruce," "Troy," and "Reginald." Bruce tended to smell of "Aqua Velva," Troy of "Old Spice", and Reginald of Harley Davidson synthetic oil, along with a touch of gear lube, and my allergies acted up. (If only Troy hadn't kept a pot-bellied pig as a pet, we could have hit it off - but the porker just took up too much bed space.)

It was at that time I felt my true calling was in the field of Law.

Now that you mention it, and you shouldn't have, I have contacted my private counsel and talked about the potential for an actionable offense against you for posting this on the open internet and quoted a precedent. To wit:

State v Dipshitz, 1968, 3rd District. In that case, plaintiff charged defamation of character. Defendent countered with (not to be too crude) "You gotta be sh itting me!".

In a split decision, the court ruled "ex politial ric santorum mia culpa nuet gin-gritch" and judgement was entered for the plaintiff to the tune of a cool mill.

Get out your checkbook, missy.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Benedict A. Davis Benedict A. Davis is offline
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 12:01 AM

[QUOTE=HTannor;648508][QUOTE=Benedict A. Davis;648494]I am more than happy to help, as you can see from my photo I have tuned down my ''business dress'' on the direction of Brother James.
Quote:


Plaid becomes you, Brother Davis. Does the new pattern reflect your heritage?

And here I'm thinking ...... Scottish, perhaps? And if so, why the waist-up photo only? Are you hiding the kilt from our eyes?

If you're hiding the kilt, why? Afraid you'll bend over in the airport and some third-world minimum-wage type of TSA agent will discover your goods? And uploads it to Youtube?

And the whole world discovers your short-comings?


Please go back to a tasteful navy blue. It's safer.
Brother Tannor,
I realize that there has been a sudden, drastic change in your life since you found out you were a judge and with that you suddenly had your clarity in the word of the law it must have been an exciting time in your life! Whether you remember it or not, sometime recently you had to take a vow to uphold the law to the best of your ability. Well the part about this vow was the clause that you could not suddenly stop taking or greatly increase medications prescribed to you, by a licensed Medical Doctor.....you remember that part, right?
i sure would hate to see them take your official judges wig back due to this little oversight of said medication and the possibility of a ''dirty urine'', know what I mean?


1 Chronicles 16:15
Be ye mindful always of his covenant; the word which he commanded to a thousand generations ... an everlasting covenant.
Proverbs 30:5,6: Every word of God is pure: he is a shield unto them that put their trust in him.
Add thou not unto his words, lest he reprove thee, and thou be found a liar.

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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 02:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Well, as you may know, I've always been a fan of fluorescent green.

And Brother HTannor, I was not aware you had such a shapely figure or such long, beautiful tresses. Did you used to be a male model, your honor?

I'm not sure the high heels suit you, though.

Sweet Jesus,Sister if you show up for work looking like that, I will tan your backside all the way to CHINA! Woman dress is navy blue or black!
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.James Dewitt is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 02:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
One of my granddaughters is looking for a job. She is ugly and stupid so she might be overqualified. Her mother is also ugly and stupid, I still don't understand how she convinced one of my sons to marry her. My granddaughter can use the money and I hope it will stop her whining for handouts.
Hey cranky, I might have a position at Dewitt's General Store as a manager, seems as if Brother Tannor is to good for the job.
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 03:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sweet Jesus,Sister if you show up for work looking like that, I will tan your backside all the way to CHINA! Woman dress is navy blue or black!
Brother James, are you sure you made the right choice. I brought this lovely outfit in anticipation of getting the position.

Name:  bw.jpg
Views: 93
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Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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James Dewitt James Dewitt is offline
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 04:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa H View Post
Brother James, are you sure you made the right choice. I brought this lovely outfit in anticipation of getting the position.

Attachment 14512

Sister Lisa, I am afraid that Lycia is being led astray by people with very bad taste. I think perhaps I will put you on the payroll as Corporate Apparel Advisor (CAA). Plaid is bad but fluorescent GREEN
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 04:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sweet Jesus,Sister if you show up for work looking like that, I will tan your backside all the way to CHINA! Woman dress is navy blue or black!
Brother, technically, what little clothing she is wearing in that image is black.


Bible boring? Nonsense!
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 04:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
Brother, technically, what little clothing she is wearing in that image is black.
stopped at the Hair
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 05:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
stopped at the Hair
I do hope you wouldn't want her hair "black or navy blue"?



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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 05:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sister Lisa, I am afraid that Lycia is being led astray by people with very bad taste. I think perhaps I will put you on the payroll as Corporate Apparel Advisor (CAA). Plaid is bad but fluorescent GREEN
I really do not understand why people would want to dress bad. After all you have a corporate image to look after. I would be more than happy to be a CAA.


Genesis 1:1 In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth
Proverbs 19:25 Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: and reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.
Ezekiel 16:14 And thy renown went forth among the heathen for thy beauty: for it was perfect through my comeliness, which I had put upon thee, saith the Lord GOD.
Proverbs 6:25 Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids.
Genesis 24:16 And the damsel was very fair to look upon, a virgin, neither had any man known her: and she went down to the well, and filled her pitcher, and came up.
Song of Solomon 1:15 Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Sweet Jesus,Sister if you show up for work looking like that, I will tan your backside all the way to CHINA! Woman dress is navy blue or black!
Sir, I don't know what came over me! I think the stress of being being sued by Brother Tannor has gotten to me, and it caused me to forget myself and post that old picture of me. I promise it won't happen again, sir!

I still think I'm a much better choice than some of the OTHER women who've posted in this thread. I'm not going to name any names, but they know who they are.

Besides, I thought you told me to wear something skimpy for the first day on the job. That was the skimpiest I had, I promise!


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lycia The Repentant View Post
Sir, I don't know what came over me! I think the stress of being being sued by Brother Tannor has gotten to me, and it caused me to forget myself and post that old picture of me. I promise it won't happen again, sir!

!
You no longer have to sit in fear of me taking legal action against you.

As Brother Davis pointed out, I inadvertently slipped off my drug regimen while listening the Rush Limbaugh show, overdid the oxycontin, and this resulted in a litigious haze.

Now that I have returned from the drug-addled state, I feel much better and take this opportunity to offer my profound apologies.


The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 07:07 PM

Dear Sister Lycia, I do hope that you have done some shopping. We will be leaving for Hong Kong Wednesday morning. Also contact the staff in the Keys. The maids name is Lupe,have her lay in a supply of Kobe beef. Also tell her to have Juan clean the pool and hot tub, you never know what the Messicants have been doing in them. James

PS you don't have to call me sir, unless we are in a meeting or at dinner with clients.
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Default Re: Personal assistant needed. - 12-06-2010, 08:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Dewitt View Post
Dear Sister Lycia, I do hope that you have done some shopping. We will be leaving for Hong Kong Wednesday morning. Also contact the staff in the Keys. The maids name is Lupe,have her lay in a supply of Kobe beef. Also tell her to have Juan clean the pool and hot tub, you never know what the Messicants have been doing in them. James

PS you don't have to call me sir, unless we are in a meeting or at dinner with clients.
Yes sir, Brother James! I've been doing some shopping and I promise that I won't be wearing anything fluorescent green! The brightest color of clothing I bought is a dark navy blue, I hope that's acceptable.

I called your staff in the keys and relayed your instructions to them. Are you sure its OK to let Lupe lay in your Kobe beef though Brother? I've never met her but I know people who aren't True Christians™ don't always have the best hygiene.

I'm looking forward to my first business trip, Brother James sir!


"Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you. For John came unto you in the way of righteousness, and ye believed him not: but the publicans and the harlots believed him: and ye, when ye had seen it, repented not afterward, that ye might believe him." Matthew 21:31-32

An Important Reminder for all unSaved© Ladies
Protect Yourself! Important Information about Demons
My five Six Step Guide to Stopping Your Miserable Harlotry!
Do you hate fornication? Join the Junior Anti-Sex League and help stop it today!
An Open Question to All false christians.

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