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Reload this Page The Taint Must Be Removed!
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Default The Taint Must Be Removed! - 09-02-2012, 08:44 PM

Dear Friends,

Currency in circulation, including even US dollars, is simply crawling with taint. The taint of blasphemers, the taint of shrub-humping paganists, the taint of kiddie-diddling bongo playing illegal immigrant hipsters -- the taints are beyond numbering.

We True Christians™ simply can’t accept the risk posed by accepting donations generally from the public. After all, as 2 John 1:9-10 instructs us:

Quote:
Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine, receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds.
We cannot take sinful money in -- we need to clean it first.

Due to a recent IRS ruling, we are required to disclose now how it is that we take potentially grody money and render it fit to accrue compound interest in our Godly Bank Accounts. We, of course, follow a multi-step process by which the money is progressively cleaned over time, starting with the most immoral handlers and moving closer and closer to people who do not automatically make us vomit.

$1.00 donation pledged to LBC -- taken in trust by Jew lawyers

$1.00 transferred from LBC to LFP, Inc., Larry Flint Productions, publisher of Hustler; 5 cents kept for processing

$0.95 transferred from the pimps at LFP to Bloomsbury Publishing, behind all the Harry Potter books; 10 cents kept for processing

$0.85 transferred from Bloomsbury's dementors to the LA Galaxy’s ownership team, the most effeminate team in soccer, the world’s most flagrantly gay sport; 8 cents kept for processing

$0.77 transferred from LA Galaxy's flaccid girly men to the Communist Party of Princeton Borough; 3 cents kept for processing;

$0.74 transferred from the Commies (no longer scaring anyone, red or not) to the League of Women Voters; 7 cents kept for processing;

$0.67 transferred from the suspicious spinsters at the League of Women Voters to the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation; 10 cents kept for processing;

$0.57 transferred from the "let's make people poop without water" do gooders at the Gates Foundation to the National Rifle Association; $0.2 cents kept for processing;

$0.55 transferred from the Second Amendment enthusiasts at the NRA to Liberty University; 7 cents kept for processing;

$0.48 transferred from (perhaps a tad liberal) Liberty U to four independent Baptist churches to sit for a month; if nobody gets defrocked and no churches burn down, they each take 2 cents and 40 cents go back to our Jew lawyers

Who take 10%, and $0.36 of completely untainted money comes into our coffers!

Yours in His Squeaky-Cleanness,
bab
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