Joshua Harris of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” admits love affair with a succubus and leaves the faith after kicking his wife to the curb.
True Christians™ everywhere recognize the epic manual of the Purity Movement, “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” by Joshua Harris, former pastor of Covenant Life Church. Harris inspired generations of True Christians™ to raise their children to fear God and fear sex, not necessarily in that order. The Purity Movement reminds youngsters that Jesus has long declared a girl’s value to be mystically and irrevocably intertwined with their sexual behavior (voluntary or involuntary - so be careful girls, the Bible doesn’t mention any excuses!).
In his book, Harris reminded girls that Jesus says they are also responsible for boys’ experiencing lustful thoughts. This is something modern day feminists infiltrating the courts are loathe to accept, which is why a Christian can get in almost as much trouble saying it out loud as saying “Merry Christmas.” Countless Bible-Believing churches shared the Good News that sharing girls with other boys by behavior promiscuously, is like sharing a stick of gum, or everyone taking turns licking the cookie before the groom gets to eat the soggy biscuit on his wedding night.
Furthermore, the Purity Movement reminds young adults that homosexuality is a greater danger to the faithful Christian than terminal diseases, nuclear weapons, or even an embassy full of machetes is to the unloyal journalist. Afterall, one can only be bound, tortured, and chopped up once, but God can torture the soul for eternity (Matthew 10:28).
Recently, Harris, walking side by side with Satan, has come forward with the announcement that he regrets writing this book, despite enjoying heavy royalties for nearly 20 years, and also hates Jesus, calling Him a Big, Fat, Liar, essentially. He also apologizes to the self-proclaimed Fabulous Gay Community, for reasons that can really only be understood when seeing a picture of his lesbian soon to be ex-wife. True Christians™ are compelled to rebuke the sinner until he repents (Luke 17:3). And if he doesn’t repent, then we are not to expend any effort on him (Matthew 7:6). It would appear that Harris has made his choice. He cast his lot with the Demon of Lust, and has Kissed Heaven Goodbye. And good riddance to bad garbage, I always say.
Fortunately, the True Christian™ knows Jesus Almighty Himself authored the Best Selling Book on Marital Advice long ago: the Holy Bible. The Holy Spirit, working closely with Dr. Elmer White, has published a document teaching the faithful parent just how to raise a child with a heart for Biblical Marriage. This is the Covenantal Way, and the only Jesus-approved method for guaranteeing decent grandchildren. While it is free to download, print, and distribute in your churches, schools, doctors’ offices, and homeschool Creation Science Fairs, Jesus knows how much you love Him and His Favorite Church when He sees how much you tithe. So remember,
He knows how stingy you are in your heart, even if you hide it from your spouse.
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