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Default The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-09-2006, 09:29 PM

And the writers seem to have lumped in Santa Claus with Jesus Christ as a deity!

War on Christmas: The Official Field Manual



Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-09-2006, 11:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
And the writers seem to have lumped in Santa Claus with Jesus Christ as a deity!
The page you posted states that they're anti-Christian, but a review of the sample pages suggests that they are actually anti-Santa. They just need to change that first page to say "the shackles of Santaist oppression" and change the title.

I believe we can all support The War on Santamas.

And before ANYONE asks, no, in the sample pages they did NOT suggest replacing the Baby Jesus™ with a SNAIL.

They do suggest getting Santa jobs at malls and promising every child a pony. Since Santa is Satan, the Father of Lies, such action could provide True Christians™ an opportunity to witness to the squalling little UNSAVED brats on CHRISTmas Morning, when they rush downstairs in their little feeted pajamas hoping to find a pony under the tree and instead find socks.

Arethusa, have you taken the opportunity to witness to the author, and explain the difference between Christianity and Santaism?
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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-10-2006, 12:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Arethusa, have you taken the opportunity to witness to the author, and explain the difference between Christianity and Santaism?
It may be wise to take along a Godly© Pastor to also give this person a good solid Ministering in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ™.

Paise® His Name



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-10-2006, 12:35 AM

You know, I can't even count how many jew-owned shopping malls that I've been escorted out of by security. I make it my business to distribute Chick Tracts and the photo below to every young hellbound child I can find waiting in line to be fondled by that old satanic pervert. Praise Jesus.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-10-2006, 01:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
The page you posted states that they're anti-Christian, but a review of the sample pages suggests that they are actually anti-Santa. They just need to change that first page to say "the shackles of Santaist oppression" and change the title.

I believe we can all support The War on Santamas.

And before ANYONE asks, no, in the sample pages they did NOT suggest replacing the Baby Jesus™ with a SNAIL.

They do suggest getting Santa jobs at malls and promising every child a pony. Since Santa is Satan, the Father of Lies, such action could provide True Christians™ an opportunity to witness to the squalling little UNSAVED brats on CHRISTmas Morning, when they rush downstairs in their little feeted pajamas hoping to find a pony under the tree and instead find socks.

Arethusa, have you taken the opportunity to witness to the author, and explain the difference between Christianity and Santaism?
Uhhhh sure, I'll get right to that eventually, with a Landover approved minister. After I celebrate my forthcoming birthday tonight.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
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OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-10-2006, 11:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Uhhhh sure, I'll get right to that eventually, with a Landover approved minister. After I celebrate my forthcoming birthday tonight.
Happy birthday and happy witnessing!

For a fun party game, try making your own Nativity scene.

Use caution, however. When I tried it, the characters kept moving to places I didn't intend; the program may be have been hacked or possessed.

I'm not quite sure exactly what is supposed to be going on here. It seems there are two "areas of attention", but neither of them involves the Baby Jesus!
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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-10-2006, 05:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Uhhhh sure, I'll get right to that eventually, with a Landover approved minister. After I celebrate my forthcoming birthday tonight.
Happy Birthday! Here at Landover, we like to celebrate birthdays by accepting a generous tithe to thank JESUS for letting you live another year.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-11-2006, 11:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by OnYourKnees View Post
Happy birthday and happy witnessing!

For a fun party game, try making your own Nativity scene.

Use caution, however. When I tried it, the characters kept moving to places I didn't intend; the program may be have been hacked or possessed.

I'm not quite sure exactly what is supposed to be going on here. It seems there are two "areas of attention", but neither of them involves the Baby Jesus!
Bwahahahahahaha. I'll make one, print it out and pin it on my evil Cathylick roommate's door as a part of my witnessing. Thank you very much OYK for the birthday greetings and Christian tutorial game.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al Pistle
Happy Birthday! Here at Landover, we like to celebrate birthdays by accepting a generous tithe to thank JESUS for letting you live another year.
Oh Pastor, I was not clear enough in noting that my birthday actually falls on this Wednesday! I had to celebrate on the weekend because everyone had other stupid things to go to during the week like exams at heathen universities and heathen Office Christmas parties. I do plan to celebrate at a clean pub on Wednesday again if I have the chance. Those holy car bombers are very good.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,891
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Secular Manifesto has been found! - 12-11-2006, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Oh Pastor, I was not clear enough in noting that my birthday actually falls on this Wednesday! I had to celebrate on the weekend because everyone had other stupid things to go to during the week like exams at heathen universities and heathen Office Christmas parties. I do plan to celebrate at a clean pub on Wednesday again if I have the chance. Those holy car bombers are very good.
Excellent. So we will be expecting to receive your generous Love Offering to Jesus via Paypal first thing wednesday morning. Happy Birthday, and Praise Jesus for not killing you last year.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
 

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