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Reload this Page A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! *
WEDDING BELLS! - Christian Wedding Forum A seasonal forum hosted by cyber Bridesmaids, Daisy Mae Johnson, Sister Mary Etheldreda and Sister Talitha . Groomly advice is also offered from Best Man, Pastor Zeke!

 
 
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Exclamation Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-30-2012, 11:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
TRUE LOVE HOW IS THAT TRUE LOVE SHE WAS SOLD WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ah, so you think it would be better if he just stole a wife? Listen up Trayvon, we do not tolerate promotion of theft here.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-30-2012, 11:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
um im a wiccan
I'm sorry to hear that, but what does that have to with what the Professor said?

He asked why atheists like you won't just leave us be.




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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 02:44 AM

Congratulations to the bride and groom. My secretary tells me that my Pastor's Wedding fee hasn't been received yet...I'd hate to see your nuptuals interrupted, so better get on that, pal.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 04:59 AM

Weddings are so much nicer when you know that the bride truly deserves to wear white.


Congatulations Captain! And many good wishes to the soon-to-be little woman.





Joyously Yours,

Handmaiden


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 05:55 AM

Congratulations Captain, I know you have been looking forward to finding the right young woman for a while. I'm very happy for you,

Psalm 92:10 But my horn shalt thou exalt like the horn of an unicorn: I shall be anointed with fresh oil.

YIC

Jack


Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.



I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 06:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tyler the earthworm View Post
um im a wiccan
So we're supposed to give you some sort of extra consideration for your views and opinions because they derive from a "faith"?

You're just being rude and using a faith position to hide behind. Why can't you be happy for two people following Godly morals?



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 06:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Congratulations to the bride and groom. My secretary tells me that my Pastor's Wedding fee hasn't been received yet...I'd hate to see your nuptuals interrupted, so better get on that, pal.
Oh Pastor! I am so sorry for the confusion. Brother Portway thought I was handling the pastoral arrangements, and I thought he was dealing with the situation. No matter. I just sent my manservant Chet out with your standard fee in cash. He should be arriving at your home at any moment. I am sorry about the hour, but I was ministering to Chet after dinner and I completely lost track of time. I will see you tomorrow at the ceremony. Praise!


Professor of Creation Science and Flood Geology at Landover Baptist University



Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!

Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 07:48 AM

Congratulations to the lovely couple!

We'll see you at the professor's estate! I can't wait to see her face when you lift the veil and kiss her for the first time! I'm a sucker for a wedding!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 07:30 PM

Thanks for coming everybody! And thanks to those (most of you) that turned off their tablets and their smartphones during the ceremony!

Didn't Naomi look great? I know the dress was a little big, but her Mom was a bit older and taller when she got married (16 she said). Anyway, the little woman and I slipped away from the reception a few minutes ago. Please don't come looking for us, but we're upstairs in one of the Professor's extra bedrooms. He surprised me by decorating it with a sign that said Holy Honeymoon Suite! Wasn't that great of him?

I'm not planning on coming back down to the party, so I'll see you all later. It's time for Naomi and I to get to know each other a little better!. If you hear any crying, it's just that Naomi is so happy we're married that she's a little beside herself right now. I'm sure she'll quiet down once we get into bed.

Praise Jesus for giving me this wonderful little bundle of femininity! Glory!




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:16 PM

Oh Brother Portway,

The ceremony was sooooo beautiful! I was touched by the Bride's tears. She almost seemed to be bawling with joy!

See you at the reception! I guess since you are now her legal guardian she can is legally an "adult" and can enjoy the beer and wine?




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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
The ceremony was sooooo beautiful! I was touched by the Bride's tears. She almost seemed to be bawling with joy!
Wasn't it beautiful though! I could see the bride just quivering all over with anticipation!



Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
Wasn't it beautiful though! I could see the bride just quivering all over with anticipation!

The tears of joy her mother was shedding were wonderful. I wonder why she didn't sit down, though...



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist View Post
The tears of joy her mother was shedding were wonderful. I wonder why she didn't sit down, though...
Some secrets a lady never reveals.

I did notice her glance at her husband throughout the afternoon. I wonder if she was reminded of her own special day!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:29 PM

When did they say they were hanging the sheets out?



Isaiah 34:6 The sword of the LORD is filled with blood, it is made fat with fatness, and with the blood of lambs and goats, with the fat of the kidneys of rams: for the LORD hath a sacrifice in Bozrah, and a great slaughter in the land of Idumea.

John 5:46,47 For had ye believed Moses, ye would have believed me: for he wrote of me. But if ye believe not his writings, how shall ye believe my words?

Join me in scoffing at backwards Muslims clinging to their beliefs in the face of the evidence!
The truth about volcanos
Sex and debauchery in public schools
Faith wins over science (explained for even the very stupid)
God Cures AIDS - GLORY!
Desert whale bones prove Great Flood once and for all.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 03-31-2012, 08:32 PM

Well I have to say that the web cam feed was an delight for all those not able to attend.

She seems really content and her expression when she said 'I do' (through tears of joy)!was an delight for all True Christian™ grooms with the thought of love on the mind.

I would also like to thank the security team who (as ever) let the whole thing run smoothly.

Good on the pair of you!

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 04-01-2012, 12:11 PM

It was a marvelous ceremony, it almost brought tears to my eyes.

To everyone at the reception. Apparently I was battling some demons and that can be the only excuse for me falling onto a few of your tables. I appreciate the ladies trying to steady my gait and hope none of the dresses I tore off are unrepairable. I also seem to of lost my BVD's and was wearing some skimpy lacy thing. I also found a red rubber ball with a strap attached. I'd like to keep it, if that is ok.
Call me

Brother Portway, I am sure you cannot until January and the birth of your first son.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 04-06-2012, 08:03 PM

I've never had so much fun! I may have had one or two too many Daiquiris but all in all it was a joyous event. The bride looked downright glowing, as did you Brother Aaron. I can only hope to find a bride as young as yours, my friend -- she has a great career ahead of her as a mother. Have you picked out the names yet? How many boys are you trying for?

Praise God for your blessings! I trust you'll put together a game night now that baseball season has started, so you can show off her cooking skills!


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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 04-09-2012, 02:02 AM

Would hate to be in her shoes, though I'm good at cleaning and cooking, I get paid for it from my daddy :3 I can make a well balanced meal like that with little mess left to clean up
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 05-12-2012, 09:02 AM

Tears of joy, or tears of losing a childhood.....its all the same in the eyes of god.
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Default Re: A Joyous Occasion on Saturday! Come one, Come All! * - 05-12-2012, 10:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by dogstarz View Post
Tears of joy, or tears of losing a childhood.....it's all the same in the eyes of God.
I'm unfamiliar with the relationship between those two dynamics: can you provide Scriptural support for your assertions? Certainly you aren't claiming to speak for God!

Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth


 

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