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Rebuke Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-29-2014, 01:39 PM

Pastor Jon Knudsen of the Lokken Independent Church, a personal friend of mine and one of the only few people in godless Scandinavia who will go to Heaven, has an important message about Christmas that I'd like to share.

Quote:
Elves are evil and must be eradicated

Not everyone is enthusiastic about the little creatures. Independent church pastor Jon Knudsen believes that elves are little demons from hell, who should be eradicated.

If we want peace at Christmas, the elves has to go.

- They come from Hell. They are evil entities. There are two approaches to them: Either, you try to please them, become good friends with them and get cohesion with them. Or do you like the Church says you should do. They must be eradicated, says pastor Jon Knudsen.

The spiritual world is made - according to Jon Knudsen - of two layers. Hell consists of evil entities like elves, while Heaven is made up of good entities. At Christmas there are good entities like for example angels. So in order to ensure the true Christmas spirit, we must renounce the elves just like we renounce Satan in our faith.

It is far from the first time that Jon Knudsen is critical of elves. Previously he strung up an elve in the gallows outside his Church to point out that the elves should be eradicated.

- It has always been the duty of the Church to renounce demons, and the elves are historically seen as demons, and there are very many who are afflicted by them. It's not just a figure in history, but a reality for many Danes, says Jon Knudsen.
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-29-2014, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Viking View Post
Pastor Jon Knudsen of the Lokken Independent Church, a personal friend of mine and one of the only few people in godless Scandinavia who will go to Heaven, has an important message about Christmas that I'd like to share.



I watched the video and it was most informative, the danish pastor speaks clearly and very understandable about elves. Thank you for this link!
In the end of summer I visited Norway and found out that they have a law about talking to elves (trolls), it is strictly forbidden there.
Still something remaining about Christianity in that country too.
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-30-2014, 02:04 PM

Elves are always getting under foot and pickpocketing people. Many times whenn I have been traveling across Gods Favorite Country™, stopping at the scenic rest stops to a break and a laying of hands among other weary travelers, I have been acosted by adult elves in the mens room, often dressed as small children. I will not get in to the sordid details and instead, will let you imagination take you on the journey of depravity I suffered on a multitude of occasions.
The State police in Omaha let me out this morning, having had to spend Christmas, the Holiest of days, in a cell with wetbacks, nigras and other criminals. Thank goodness Jesus never had to suffer the humiliation I did.

Never trust an elve, midget or articulate child. Only those ones with the googly retard eyes.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-30-2014, 07:44 PM

I have seen many false elves made of ceramics and plastic. They are sold in such stores as Lowes and Home Depot, Walmart and durn near everwhere else. I have never given them much thought. We live in a world where magazines full of nekid women and worse are sold at every gas station. What is really so odd about images of devilish elves?

That's what they want you to think. When there is a false elf in every garden, how will you notice the real ones and take appropriate action? I believe that I will show the way to my neighbors by going about with a broom stick and breaking all the false elves in the neighborhood. I pray everyone else will do the same. In this fashion, we will not be taken unawares and we can easily draw our revolvers and shoot the real ones.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-30-2014, 08:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
I have seen many false elves made of ceramics and plastic. They are sold in such stores as Lowes and Home Depot, Walmart and durn near everwhere else. I have never given them much thought. We live in a world where magazines full of nekid women and worse are sold at every gas station. What is really so odd about images of devilish elves?

That's what they want you to think. When there is a false elf in every garden, how will you notice the real ones and take appropriate action? I believe that I will show the way to my neighbors by going about with a broom stick and breaking all the false elves in the neighborhood. I pray everyone else will do the same. In this fashion, we will not be taken unawares and we can easily draw our revolvers and shoot the real ones.
Amen to that! I find these elves very disturbing and have been destroying some with my SAKO. It is special fun with some good Kentucky Bourbon.
Some of those elves are already armed!



Beware!
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-30-2014, 09:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
In the end of summer I visited Norway and found out that they have a law about talking to elves (trolls), it is strictly forbidden there.
Marko, are the many trolls that come to these Godly forums actually elves, then? If so, I will make a point of not talking to them. I am not Norwegian (Praise our Beloved Lord Jesus!) and so not obliged to obey their laws, but this particular one seems surprisingly Godly.


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-30-2014, 10:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
Marko, are the many trolls that come to these Godly forums actually elves, then? If so, I will make a point of not talking to them. I am not Norwegian (Praise our Beloved Lord Jesus!) and so not obliged to obey their laws, but this particular one seems surprisingly Godly.
Actually I do not know if these creatures have skills to use computer. They seem quite clumsy, like some disabled people are.
Here is a traffic sign from Norway where is a picture of that troll. I saw this sign suddenly when I had stopped to visit the bushes, and - well - like a reflect i shot it few times. I had only small gun in my hands so there is no as much damage I wished.



But I hate trolls everywhere. They are from Satan.
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-31-2014, 02:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
Amen to that! I find these elves very disturbing and have been destroying some with my SAKO. It is special fun with some good Kentucky Bourbon.
Some of those elves are already armed!



Beware!



Their short stature places them in a position of always firing uphill. Unless they are skilled marksmen, or markselves, I guess, their task is made difficult. That is why you never read about elves shooting people in the newspaper. This is likely part of God's plan.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-31-2014, 03:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss View Post
Their short stature places them in a position of always firing uphill. Unless they are skilled marksmen, or markselves, I guess, their task is made difficult...
Couldn't they just shoot you in the knees first?


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-31-2014, 03:19 PM

Elves and gnomes are actually demons, trying to seduce Christians into believing this fake Christmas nonsense. They are evil spirits...

And also: 2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - Amen.

Demons shape shift in different forms, elves/gnomes/... is just one shape.
The devil is lurking on our children 's souls.


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-31-2014, 05:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doyle Woodworth View Post
Elves and gnomes are actually demons, trying to seduce Christians into believing this fake Christmas nonsense. They are evil spirits...

And also: 2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - Amen.

Demons shape shift in different forms, elves/gnomes/... is just one shape.
The devil is lurking on our children 's souls.
I see a templar cross in your avatar, Doyle.
Are you catlick?
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 12-31-2014, 06:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doyle Woodworth View Post
Elves and gnomes are actually demons, trying to seduce Christians into believing this fake Christmas nonsense. They are evil spirits...

And also: 2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - Amen.

Demons shape shift in different forms, elves/gnomes/... is just one shape.
The devil is lurking on our children 's souls.

Welcome then, Doyle. What ragged verse is that you quote? It is not from God's Holy Word. I suspect it is some modern translation. We read and adhere to the King James Version here. It is the only reliable rendering of His directions.

We'd like to get to know you, if ye be Christian. Please introduce yourself properly in the introduction section. How many are your sons? What is your congregation? What maker do you prefer for the family shotgun?

God Bless!


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-01-2015, 04:34 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Doyle Woodworth View Post
Elves and gnomes are actually demons, trying to seduce Christians into believing this fake Christmas nonsense. They are evil spirits...

And also: 2 Corinthians 10:5
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. - Amen.

Demons shape shift in different forms, elves/gnomes/... is just one shape.
The devil is lurking on our children 's souls.
Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-06-2015, 01:20 PM

Quote:
It is far from the first time that Jon Knudsen is critical of elves. Previously he strung up an elve in the gallows outside his Church to point out that the elves should be eradicated.

Can I just say it is utterly SHAMEFUL that a church in Norway has a proper gallows, yet it is impossible to find even one church in the United States with a gallows out front?


Far be it from me to disparage the Landover Baptist Church, but this sorry state of affairs is true even in Freehold.

I do not blame the church or its pastors, however.

Nay, I blame the congregation! It is the lay people, who file in and out of church every Sunday (and, of course, for additional church fellowships throughout the week), who see the front of the church, barren of a gallows, and do nothing about it.

Why?

Because they are lazy and selfish. They know their church needs a gallows, but they are afraid to speak up, lest somebody expect them to lend a hand and devote some of their free time to a good, old-fashioned afternoon gallows construction party, or --Heaven forfend-- crack open their wallet and tithe a little more so the church can afford construction materials for that gallows.


I think the Bible makes it abundantly clear that this sort of selfishness is not pleasing to the Lord.

Quote:
Philippians 2:4

4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-07-2015, 03:05 AM

I think at the next mens' working bee, we should construct some gallows.
I've found a design which I rather like. What do others think?



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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-07-2015, 03:08 AM

It's serviceable, but a bit drab. Don't we have any ex-gays around who might be able to jazz it up a little? Maybe some color-coordinated decorations of some sort?


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-08-2015, 04:42 AM

The only good elf...



...is a dead elf.
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-08-2015, 06:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
I think at the next mens' working bee, we should construct some gallows.
I've found a design which I rather like. What do others think?

Is this self-service model? You just kick and the trapdoor opens? How we get the elves do that, they are pretty stupid?
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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-08-2015, 08:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marko Loimaan-Aho View Post
Is this self-service model? You just kick and the trapdoor opens? How we get the elves do that, they are pretty stupid?
I figured that the red handle was for the executioner. But I suppose if you tickled them enough, they might kick it themselves. We could even get the children involved in that


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Default Re: Elves are evil and should be eradicated - 01-08-2015, 09:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jim Farmer View Post
I think at the next mens' working bee, we should construct some gallows.
I've found a design which I rather like. What do others think?
My eldest boy says you'd probably need to adjust the measurements, because the drop heights given with that plan don't allow for anyone under 112 pounds, So the platform would need to be higher off the ground.

He suggests you could reduce the height of the hanging frame, because elves are quite short. But the twins suggest that you could maybe compensate for that with a longer rope?

Thursday mornings we have a Practical Math lesson here, so they'll be working on the exact measurements. Does anyone know how tall an average elf is?


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