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Reload this Page For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life:
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Cool For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-25-2013, 07:32 PM

MAN RULES:

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guy's side of the story.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE!

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE: THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

  • SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-25-2013, 07:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
MAN RULES:

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guy's side of the story.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE!

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE: THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

  • SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.
Why don't womenfolk know all this already? Men are pretty easy to be around. It doesn't take a genius to figure out any one point you made Mr. King. I knew all this even before I became a Christian housewife.
Any woman who hasn't noticed these things already (Especially about her own husband) is probably a little self-absorbed.
You are so gracious to educate them Mr. King! Bless you, in His Glorious Name, for the vast Love he gave you to share with us poor little women.
I think another point should be to learn what your husband likes to talk about, so he's not totally bored the moment you open your trap.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-25-2013, 10:41 PM

Wait so what are the female rules?
Last I checked, mine were let me clean and buy me candy.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 12:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
MAN RULES:

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guy's side of the story.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE!

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE: THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

  • SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.
This is priceless, Brother King. Bless you. I already do all of this, of course, but having it in writing is perfect.

At the moment, I'm needlepointing this for our home. Mr Holly will be so pleased.
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Mary Thompson Mary Thompson is offline
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 01:51 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
MAN RULES:



AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN FINALLY, the guy's side of the story.

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE.
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE!

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE: THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

  • SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
  • OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!
1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE.

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS.
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR.

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING.
Thank you, Brother King, I'm sure all God-Fearing Ladies already do this but if any feminazi whores come along they might change their ways! PRAISE JESUS!


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Nobar King Nobar King is offline
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 06:12 AM

Also, you don't have to repeat everything your man says. Seriously, ladies, in four posts, three of them copied the text from the original post. Is that really necessary? Try to keep the chatter down.


May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Holly Graham Holly Graham is offline
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 06:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Also, you don't have to repeat everything your man says. Seriously, ladies, in four posts, three of them copied the text from the original post. Is that really necessary? Try to keep the chatter down.
Thank you, Brother King, for showing us silly women the error of our ways. What would we do without the help of you men?
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Alexandria Puckett Alexandria Puckett is offline
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 07:44 AM

Ah, yes. Simply habit on the forum to quote when directing a comment at someone. Sorry for starting that, Mr. King. Probably should've shoertened it initially.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Mary Thompson Mary Thompson is offline
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Mary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMary Thompson has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 08:01 AM

Sorry, Brother, it's just a habit because on many threads when people don't use the quote button it gets quite cunfusing to see who the person is replying to.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 08:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Holly Gram View Post
Yappitty Yap
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexandria Puckett View Post
Yappitty Yap
Oh dear. Please keep down the noise dears, you'll wake up the Pastor.
You both have a long way to go until you'll make as perfect a True Christian™ woman as myself.



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being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 05:45 PM

Didn't realize it was noise when apologizing to my superiors for making a mistake. Thank you for pointing that out, ma'am.


But he answered and said, it is not right to take the children's bread and cast it to the dogs. (Matthew 15:26)
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-26-2013, 08:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Also, you don't have to repeat everything your man says. Seriously, ladies, in four posts, three of them copied the text from the original post. Is that really necessary? Try to keep the chatter down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Talitha View Post
Oh dear. Please keep down the noise dears, you'll wake up the Pastor.
You both have a long way to go until you'll make as perfect a True Christian™ woman as myself.
I've read the rules. I've understood them. I'll apply them.

(trying to keep the noise down)
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-27-2013, 12:28 AM

After many years, my wife (Mrs. Hutchins) and I no longer have to talk much. I tell her what she needs to know, she responds "Yes James".


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-27-2013, 01:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
After many years, my wife (Mrs. Hutchins) and I no longer have to talk much. I tell her what she needs to know, she responds "Yes James".
She is blessed to have a husband like you. We women really don't have to make things so complicated.


1 Cor. 11:8-9: For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-27-2013, 10:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
After many years, my wife (Mrs. Hutchins) and I no longer have to talk much. I tell her what she needs to know, she responds "Yes James".
PRAISE JESUS, YES!!! THANK YOU!!
(Genesis 3:16)
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-28-2013, 12:10 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
After many years, my wife (Mrs. Hutchins) and I no longer have to talk much. I tell her what she needs to know, she responds "Yes James".
My mother (Mrs. Pastor Lamentations Flint) doesn't know my father's first name (Pastor Lamentations Flint). She's always called him "sir."


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-28-2013, 12:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
My mother (Mrs. Pastor Lamentations Flint) doesn't know my father's first name (Pastor Lamentations Flint). She's always called him "sir."
This reminds me of Sarah and Abraham (1 Peter 3: 6) as Sarah called Abraham her lord.


Thinking of Abortion?
That fetus will be in Hell, because they never had a chance to repent their sinful ways (Psalms 51:5) (1 Kings 8:46)
Think of the children. Stop being a slut.
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Thumbs up Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-28-2013, 12:20 PM

Oh you big sillies. Jesus doesn't want you to be in service to men. What nonsense! Only yesterday, when Shania and I were deciding from the catalogue of sperm donors, I chuckled to myself at the thought that women are finally doing what Jesus would have wanted us to do.

We are praising his name and praying and getting degrees in theology and fighting for the rights of bisexuals everywhere.

It's so thrilling to be a part of the wonder of Jesus as he moves into the 21st century, overthrowing centuries of male-dominated tradition. Jesus was the first true feminist.




Proverbs 31:26 She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-28-2013, 12:36 PM

Lesbeans are allowed to raise future queers, now?

This is why I have as little to do with women as I can: does anyone actually understand them?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: For the ladies: rules to follow for the men in your life: - 04-28-2013, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Waynetta Kerr View Post
Oh you big sillies. Jesus doesn't want you to be in service to men. What nonsense! Only yesterday, when Shania and I were deciding from the catalogue of sperm donors, I chuckled to myself at the thought that women are finally doing what Jesus would have wanted us to do.

We are praising his name and praying and getting degrees in theology and fighting for the rights of bisexuals everywhere.

It's so thrilling to be a part of the wonder of Jesus as he moves into the 21st century, overthrowing centuries of male-dominated tradition. Jesus was the first true feminist.
Oh that's wonderful news!

Being Christian is more than following every that God says: it's about love and happiness and togetherness.

ThinksDesign
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