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Default A Sinner Brought Naked to Jesus - 12-06-2013, 05:42 AM

Leviticus 19:19 Yee shall keepe my Statutes: Thou shalt not let thy cattell gender with a diuerse kinde: Thou shalt not sowe thy field with mingled seed: Neither shall a garment mingled of linnen and woollen come vpon thee. My church has a women's prayer group each Thursday evening. Mother and I, along with my father's sister Gloryglory, attend this time of fellowship and communion with our Lord weekly unless we are having our monthly bleeding out. A new family moved to the house across the street from our church, and the woman of that house came to our meeting tonight. She was dressed somewhat immodestly, with a tight woolen sweater that made her breasts look like a dead heat in a zeppelin race. A collective gasp went up from the ladies when we saw the yoke of this sweater was made of linen and wool mixed together as unashamedly as a harlot might wear a skirt ten inches or more above the knee. Our pastor rebuked the woman immediately, quoting the scripture from Leviticus I've posted here. He had been eyeing her as her bulbous bosoms jiggled up and then down, gravity working its power upon them. I swear one of them almost knocked down poor Sister Simpson when this woman turned suddenly to enter a pew. Anyway, this woman had the audacity to say that she could wear anything she wanted to church and Jesus would honor her presence. With that, Pastor went to her pew and ripped the sweater off while the rest of us prayed and sang Our Eyes to the Mountains, created by our God. The woman tried to escape, but Pastor laid hands on her bosom and prayed for the foul spirit of defiance to be loosed. Before long, the woman broke down and accepted our Lord as her Savior, running around the sanctuary praising God and shouting GLORY! The pastor took her to his office for some private counseling and about 30 minutes later they emerged, Pastor asking for one of the women to provide covering for the new babe in Christ so that she could modestly return home. A new name has been written in the book of life tonight, people! God surely works wondrous and amazing miracles to shew us His love. AMEN?


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
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Default Re: A Sinner Brought Naked to Jesus - 12-06-2013, 06:58 AM

Naomi, that testimony brought tears to my eyes! Oh, to imagine, yet another Bride for Christ (not in a Mormon kind of way), to be Blessed with being united with the King of Kings for all eternity, knowing she won't suffer in Hell like those ugly, mean, rotten sinners who hate Jesus!





Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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