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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Jesus Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 05:43 AM

Just when the mooslimbs were gettin' to me, I found this forum. It opened up my eyes on how video games and mushlimes are the scum of God's green earth. I praise God, the holy son Jesus Christ, and Landover Baptist forums every day for savin' little ole me. Thank you for bein' such an aceptin' comunity.


Deuteronomy 1:26

Notwithstanding ye would not go up, but rebelled against the commandment of the LORD your God
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Thumbs up Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 05:52 AM

Amen BROTHER! The mushlims are the work of the devil, as are the gays. We live in tuf times today with the big court tellin us that the gays can get married n all now, so its nice to have guidance from this little community. Welcome!


John 1:3
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 05:55 AM

Thank you Brother Bobby.


Deuteronomy 1:26

Notwithstanding ye would not go up, but rebelled against the commandment of the LORD your God
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JohnnyTightLips JohnnyTightLips is offline
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 05:59 AM

hey dude. cool beard. just like Jesus had. you will fit in perfectly with us real Christians. but honestly, i think Muslims (the proper spelling) are not all that bad. give them a chance.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby Against Gays View Post
Amen BROTHER! The mushlims are the work of the devil, as are the gays. We live in tuf times today with the big court tellin us that the gays can get married n all now, so its nice to have guidance from this little community. Welcome!
hey. you should be more tolerant to gays. they are cool people. being gays is not that bad. Jesus said he loved everyone in Luke i think. i think we should too.


Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 06:06 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby Against Gays View Post
Amen BROTHER! The mushlims are the work of the devil, as are the gays. We live in tuf times today with the big court tellin us that the gays can get married n all now, so its nice to have guidance from this little community. Welcome!
Why don't you make you're own intro thread and tell everyone about yourself...
And don't forget: favorite verse, what church you attend, and how you found Jesus...


Ezekiel 23:3 And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.
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Jesus Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 06:07 AM

The mushlimites have no purpra spellin. They be the spawn o stan. Thank ya for the wurm welcom howevr friend


Deuteronomy 1:26

Notwithstanding ye would not go up, but rebelled against the commandment of the LORD your God
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Cross Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 06:37 AM

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Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
hey. you should be more tolerant to gays. they are cool people. being gays is not that bad. Jesus said he loved everyone in Luke i think. i think we should too.
Well I'll be, a fella who says we should 'tolarate' these here people who are menacing our present day society. You ever look at un o those gays in the eyes? Nuttin there. No soul. Them bodies are filled with fire n KY Jelly. I once drove into a Macdonalds drive thru and a gay fella took my order. When I asked him if he new christ he just tole me that he aint been to church in a long while, n he mustve cursed my burger with that gay magic cuz soons I got home I touched my sons genitals likes I always wanted to.I knew Christ is about patience n sacrifice, but the gays that cursed my burger were driven only by sex and evil. I tells you what, now that those gays can combine forces theys gon be cursin lots of burgers and I dont want that for my kid. N you know what, they must be tellin the mushliems to, bcuz them mooslimbs dont like to eat burgers. All those mooslimes know what aint good for them in those burgers. Its a scary world out dere , n you aint gone get through it with your "tolarating"


John 1:3
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
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Love Jesus Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 07:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby Against Gays View Post
Well I'll be, a fella who says we should 'tolarate' these here people who are menacing our present day society. You ever look at un o those gays in the eyes? Nuttin there. No soul. Them bodies are filled with fire n KY Jelly. I once drove into a Macdonalds drive thru and a gay fella took my order. When I asked him if he new christ he just tole me that he aint been to church in a long while, n he mustve cursed my burger with that gay magic cuz soons I got home I touched my sons genitals likes I always wanted to.I knew Christ is about patience n sacrifice, but the gays that cursed my burger were driven only by sex and evil. I tells you what, now that those gays can combine forces theys gon be cursin lots of burgers and I dont want that for my kid. N you know what, they must be tellin the mushliems to, bcuz them mooslimbs dont like to eat burgers. All those mooslimes know what aint good for them in those burgers. Its a scary world out dere , n you aint gone get through it with your "tolarating"
Mr. Bobby,

You seem to be decent young youth who is potentially useful raw material for Jesus to be molded into a Soldier for our Savior! There are obviously some issues that we'll be praying for including your slightly retarded spelling.

1 Corinthians 14:13
Wherefore let him that speaketh in an unknown tongue pray that he may interpret.

Nothing a decent amount of prayer will not cure, if you're ready to open your heart to Jesus!



Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 07:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Powers Jackson View Post
Just when the mooslimbs were gettin' to me, I found this forum. It opened up my eyes on how video games and mushlimes are the scum of God's green earth. I praise God, the holy son Jesus Christ, and Landover Baptist forums every day for savin' little ole me. Thank you for bein' such an aceptin' comunity.
God bless you Brother Jackson, and welcome to the forum.

Indeed, the mooselimb menace is something to be concerned about - and while they do pose a threat to the Kingdom of God here on earth, the good news is that Jesus has them otherwise occupied killing each other as well.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 12:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
Jesus said he loved everyone in Luke i think.
Dear friend:

On this discussion board, when we make assertions like that, we back them up with direct quotations from Scripture. Thank you for your anticipated future compliance, and have a blessed day.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 12:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
Jesus said he loved everyone in Luke i think. i think we should too.
Nice try, atheist.

Matthew 12:30 "He that is not with me is against me; and he that gathereth not with me scattereth abroad."
Proverbs 6:16-19 "These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren."
Deuteronomy 12:31 "Thou shalt not do so unto the LORD thy God: for every abomination to the LORD, which he hateth, have they done unto their gods; for even their sons and their daughters they have burnt in the fire to their gods."
Hosea 9:15 "All their wickedness is in Gilgal: for there I hated them: for the wickedness of their doings I will drive them out of mine house, I will love them no more: all their princes are revolters."
Matthew 13:41-42 "The Son of man shall send forth his angels, and they shall gather out of his kingdom all things that offend, and them which do iniquity; And shall cast them into a furnace of fire: there shall be wailing and gnashing of teeth."
Isaiah 45:7 "I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things."
Luke 14:26 "If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple."

Rather than spending your free time trying to make Jesus look like some sissy-boy, why don't you actually read the Bible(KJV1611)?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 05:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Powers Jackson View Post
Just when the mooslimbs were gettin' to me, I found this forum. It opened up my eyes on how video games and mushlimes are the scum of God's green earth. I praise God, the holy son Jesus Christ, and Landover Baptist forums every day for savin' little ole me. Thank you for bein' such an aceptin' comunity.
Welcome to our friendly forums! We are indeed a very welcoming community. The Pastor doesn't care from whom or where the money comes. We welcome it all. We're ever so close on getting his new jet!


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 06:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lee Powers Jackson View Post
Just when the mooslimbs were gettin' to me, I found this forum. It opened up my eyes on how video games and mushlimes are the scum of God's green earth. I praise God, the holy son Jesus Christ, and Landover Baptist forums every day for savin' little ole me. Thank you for bein' such an aceptin' comunity.
This being the INTRODUCTIONS section of the forum, we would expect that you might properly introduce yourself. Your hometown, your age, the Church you were raised in, your family, your wife's best pie, your favorite Scriptures, the sins you've struggled with, and so on.

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Lee Powers Jackson Lee Powers Jackson is offline
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Jesus Re: Saved by the forum - 06-27-2015, 10:06 PM

Thanks for the warm welcome yall. I made an introduction post not realizin that i made this one too Pastor


Deuteronomy 1:26

Notwithstanding ye would not go up, but rebelled against the commandment of the LORD your God
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-05-2015, 06:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmer G. White View Post
Mr. Bobby,

There are obviously some issues that we'll be praying for including your slightly retarded spelling.

:
I see what youre meanin with my spelling, I aint never done well in no schooling. But ya know what i say? My head aint filled up with all da edumacation that alls the others are gettin, ins stead I got more room up der for jesus to live inside me. All that edumacation leeks into yore heart, and out from youre heart comes the big ol guy up in the sky. I choose to live the simple life of barbecuking and fishin and spreadin the word of our lord, which dont need no proper spelling.


John 1:3
All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made.
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Mike Miller Mike Miller is offline
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-05-2015, 10:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
hey dude. cool beard. just like Jesus had. you will fit in perfectly with us real Christians. but honestly, i think Muslims (the proper spelling) are not all that bad. give them a chance.
While new here myself, this site is not made for your homosexual advances. Join a Catholic priest forum for that.


Quote:
hey. you should be more tolerant to gays. they are cool people. being gays is not that bad. Jesus said he loved everyone in Luke i think. i think we should too.
Leviticus 18:22 – Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, (Read More…)

Romans 1:26-28 – For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: (Read More…)

Leviticus 20:13 – If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

1 Corinthians 7:2 – Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

God would disagree.
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-05-2015, 11:10 PM

Please tell us where you are from, your background, church, and tell us about your walk with Him. Your refusal to do what Pastor Zeke asked you to do is alarming and makes me wonder -- did your father tan you and instill a sense of respect for your elders? "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes." Proverbs 13:24


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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JohnnyTightLips JohnnyTightLips is offline
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JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.JohnnyTightLips is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-09-2015, 01:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mike Miller View Post
While new here myself, this site is not made for your homosexual advances. Join a Catholic priest forum for that.




Leviticus 18:22 – Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it [is] abomination.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 – Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, (Read More…)

Romans 1:26-28 – For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: (Read More…)

Leviticus 20:13 – If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood [shall be] upon them.

1 Corinthians 7:2 – Nevertheless, [to avoid] fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

God would disagree.
i didn't mean for my message to be construed as a sexual advance. that wasn't my intent. i use Grindr for that. it is a very fun app


Rom.1:26-27
For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature. And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
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Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-09-2015, 11:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyTightLips View Post
i didn't mean for my message to be construed as a sexual advance. that wasn't my intent. i use Grindr for that. it is a very fun app
Why are you advertising p*rn sites on a Godly Christian forum? You do realize that women and children read these posts, right? Also, I thought you wanted to repent and get right with God.


And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.
Deuteronomy 6.5
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is offline
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Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: Saved by the forum - 07-09-2015, 07:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Esther B. View Post
Why are you advertising p*rn sites on a Godly Christian forum? You do realize that women and children read these posts, right? Also, I thought you wanted to repent and get right with God.
Good rebuking Sister! Remember, sinners, that women and children read this, and we are far more inclined to sin then a man -- remember who sinned first? It was Eve. So let's not be a stumblingblock! "Thou shalt not curse the deaf, nor put a stumblingblock before the blind, but shalt fear thy God: I am the LORD." Leviticus 19:12


"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
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