[Born Again Bob]

Originally Posted by Saria

Look you ****ing whore, I am having a mental breakdown right now

Dear Friend,

So you admit that you're rejecting God and admit that you're mentally ill, but don't see the connection between the two?

It takes a special sort of genius to be that obtuse.

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

So don't argue. Do you have your parents' credit cards yet?

I suspect that the cards have been well-hidden since she maxed out the limits donating to the heathen coffers of the Wickedans or the SINtologists.

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Saria

And I am honestly sorry for this post, but I am seriously having mental issues and am really not in the mood for this

Listen Sara, What part of your the guest in our forum don't you understand sinner? We make no apologies for telling the TRUTH™ to anyone, let alone sissies like you homer who would rather spank their monkey thinking about another man's ass than being with a woman. So what if it is your sister? At lest she is woman for the Love of God. God is punishing you with your mental break down for your depraved, boy butt humping ways. Get your fagot ass right with Jesus and sick a sock in your whinny mouth sinner.

[Rachael Van Helsing]

So, BJ, is it safe to say that you really 'know' your sister well?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

So, BJ, is it safe to say that you really 'know' your sister well?

Mrs Van Wolfbane, can't you see that Saria is having a breakdown and needs our support?

[Talitha]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

Mrs Van Wolfbane, can't you see that Saria is having a breakdown and needs our support?

I'm sure Saria listening to Bobby Joe's Godly words and hopefully it will be seen that he is trying to help.
For my part I shall include saria in my prayers.

John 14:16
And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Tal, as regards your picture.....you didn't give me permission to keep it so I looked and deleted it. If you wanted me to have a copy to show my Potato-potato-potato friends, feel free to re-email me the link.

PAL

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

So, BJ, is it safe to say that you really 'know' your sister well?

Typical for a sinning harlot wanting to know the luired details of other's privet lives. Not to mention do I detect a hint of jealousy from you at the though of some other woman “Bobbing on this“? Well it doesn’t count like that Rachael. I have REPENTED™ of my depravity. What ever youthful indiscretions that happen between me and my sister Irene, that Joo marrying tramp, has been washed clean by the Blood of the Lamb of Christ®.

Meanwhile we are trying to Soul Save Sara here Rachael, so don't derail the thread in your quest for material to aid you in abusing you mommy cave, okay?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

The details of your 'privet' life, BJ?
My, my, I didn't know that you were partial to shrubbery. Isn't that what you always accuse wiccans of?

Mrs Van Wolfbane, can't you see that Saria is having a breakdown and needs our support?

Well, I can see that, Pastor.
Maybe he needs a nice, relaxing stint at a helpdesk job getting paid peanuts. Guaranteed by the middle of the day he'll have forgotten whatever else it is that's the problem.

[Ixi]

Well I'll be enjoying life, and even though I'm not Christain like my parents, I still love them, and they love me, so there.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

If they still love you, then they must not be TRUE CHRISTIANS™. If they weren't such panty-WASTES, they would know that the LORD GOD commands them to end your pitiful existence ASAP:

"
18If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
19Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
20And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die: so shalt thou put evil away from among you; and all Israel shall hear, and fear." - Deuteronomy 21:18-21 (KJV1611)

Then they could go about their business in creating another less HOMER child, and punish it (apparently they spared the rod one too many times with you, since you became a nancy boy and rejected their teachings -- if they had any).

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Well I'll be enjoying life, and even though I'm not Christain like my parents, I still love them, and they love me, so there.

Friend,

This isn't about your life, it is about what happens to you after your death. Do you want to spend eternity having your guts pulled from your screaming body by Satan? Is that really worth not telling Jesus you love Him and becoming a Christian?

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Ixi

Well I'll be enjoying life, and even though I'm not Christain like my parents, I still love them, and they love me, so there.

Are they familiar with the whole set-up whereby Christians enjoy paradise for eternity, but heathens like yourself are sent to burn in hellfire for ever? Does that not bother them at all?

[Ixi]

I don't know what bothers them and what doesn't, and I know they won't have another kid, I know they love me and my sisters. Is that all you care about? Life is supposed to be enjoyed, I say you all should still worship God, but this doesn't mean ignore the pleasures of life.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Ixi

I don't know what bothers them and what doesn't, and I know they won't have another kid, I know they love me and my sisters. Is that all you care about? Life is supposed to be enjoyed, I say you all should still worship God, but this doesn't mean ignore the pleasures of life.

The so-called "pleasures of life" are nothing more than stumbling blocks and temptations laid out by Jesus. If you cannot even pass a simple loving test, how do you expect to gain admittance to eternal Paradise? Sure you can spend your afternoons with a carrot stuffed up your behind while you gaze longingly at my photo, but you will pay a steep price for those fleeting moments of satisfaction once you get tossed into the lake of fire.

I urge you to stop servicing starnge men in public restrooms, and start begging Jesus to take over your perverted life.

[Jack]

OK, so you don't want your sons to "turn" gay, But I don't see anything in that text about "preventing" lesbianism. Double standard is that?

[Deaner]

Originally Posted by Jack

OK, so you don't want your sons to "turn" gay, But I don't see anything in that text about "preventing" lesbianism. Double standard is that?

Friend, are you one of those whining, cry-baby homers that's always complaining you're being picked on? Do you really feel like the victim in all this? Do you know how much Jesus pukes when he see's you in hot shorts, make-up, and a day's growth of whiskers? Hmm? Do you?

Dean

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Jack

OK, so you don't want your sons to "turn" gay, But I don't see anything in that text about "preventing" lesbianism. Double standard is that?

Judging from your name and location I can tell what you enjoy spending your time doing, and Jesus hates that, so go wash your hands and never touch that little thing again!!

As for your question...it is equally obvious that you have never cracked open a Holy Bible, have you Jackie?

Romans 1:26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: 1:27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.

Paul is quite clear in this verse. Jesus hates lezbeans just as much as He hates homers like you, Jacqueline.

Now, tell me about how you plan on turning your life around. Is your tithing up to date?

[Jack]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Judging from your name and location I can tell what you enjoy spending your time doing, and Jesus hates that, so go wash your hands and never touch that little thing again!!

As for your question...it is equally obvious that you have never cracked open a Holy Bible, have you Jackie?

My name and location, what does that have anything to with my beliefs? Fond of stereotypes are you? I don't intend to spend the rest of my life in this chav-infested country also.

As for never cracking open a holy bible, the reason I am here is because I'm intrigued to find out more about christianity.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Jack

My name and location, what does that have anything to with my beliefs? Fond of stereotypes are you? I don't intend to spend the rest of my life in this chav-infested country also.

As for never cracking open a holy bible, the reason I am here is because I'm intrigued to find out more about christianity.

Well then friend, you came to the right place. This is God's favorite Church. You can begin by going out and purchasing a KJV1611 Holy Bible. Make sure it is none other. Next, read it from cover to cover. Each word and sentence is the Literal Word of God, so you will be getting the straight truth right from God's Blessed mouth.

The Pastors here will be happy to answer any questions you have about God's Holy Word....just don't be a smart ass. I suggest that you go into the "introductions" thread and tell us about your sorry life.

By the way, Jesus expects you to Tithe 10% of your GROSS worth, so hit that Paypal button at the bottom of this page, and we'll get you set up on a Tithing plan that is right for you.