General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 03:50 PM
So today's the Big Day and He/he is nowhere around. Did The Word™ leak out about the Special loaf of Dungbread I made Him/him and he is such a shy Man he/He figured there wouldn't be enough to go around for everyone, figuring that "It's Better to give than Receive?"
Pastor Ezekiel! Come back to your Confederacy of Christians! ! I won't call you E-Z Eek any more in public!
There's still plenty of my Good Dungbread left, with lots of your own private-label Beverage to wash it down with
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 04:31 PM
Happy Birthday Zeke! (Assuming you're still alive... )
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Globally; US, UK, Germany
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 04:36 PM
Birthdays are SCIENCE's way of making you stop thinking about God and think about yourself.
If you celebrate your own birthday it is the same as masturbation and gayetry and you will burn in the lake of fire with the sodomites and athiests.
If you celebrate the birthday of another male (and you yourself are male) then this is an act of gayism and you will burn in the lake of fire.
If you celebrate the birthday of ANYONE ELSE you love God less! This is a fact!
Mark 13:22
For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shewe signes and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, euen the elect.
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 04:40 PM
ProvHerbs 5:12-15
Quote:
Monster grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the Noodle to know the difference. I remember that an elephant never forgets, but i forget what the elephant remembered. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Flying Spaghetti Monster, please give me the hunger to eat the pasta I can, the humility to accept that I can eat no more when too full, and the wisdom to remember where I live when I'm trashed on Holy Friday.
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Your astrological week ahead, with Psychic Bob
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Still no word from the Dragon’s Den about your asparagus-flavoured baby milk that lets you know when your baby’s wet its nappy.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream
you celebrate the birthday of another male (and you yourself are male) then this is an act of gayism and you will burn in the lake of fire.
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Um, did you just call me a fag?
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Unsaved trash Hateful God mocking pirate
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Posts: 6,336
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: The Land of the Beer Volcano and Stripper Factory.
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch
Um, did you just call me a fag?
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I think he did, I also think he is saying that if you celebrate the birthday of the baby jesus you are also a fag, or does it not count when it comes to mythical people?
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True Christian™ Princess The Driving Force behind RA12 Have at it, anytime!
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Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream
Birthdays are SCIENCE's way of making you stop thinking about God and think about yourself. Blah, blah, blah.
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Although I may be Damned to Hell forever for this (by our Church Pastors).....WTF?!?!?!
How dare you try to ruin Pastor Ezekiel's Birth-day like this?!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
How dare you try to ruin Pastor Ezekiel's Birth-day like this?!
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See the half-hearted apology I had to force out of him here.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV
Although I may be Damned to Hell forever for this (by our Church Pastors).....WTF?!?!?!
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Don't worry: Sarah Palin says it all the time now.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Globally; US, UK, Germany
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 06:07 PM
In light of having been formerly introduced to the heirachy of this forum I'd like to wish Happy Birthday to the Pastor!
In regards to the witch hunt forming against me;
Know who else does witch hunts? WITCHES! that's right. Please forgive me for overstepping the pecking order here on my induction into these Godly forums.
I hope the good pastor and my fellow brothers and sisters can see my intentions here are good.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 855
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 06:10 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel! FedEx will be delivering 100lbs of juicy polar bear steaks to you before 5 PM. Enjoy!
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 06:10 PM
Are you suggesting that the pastor is a witch? Because in case you didn't notice he's a dude.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 855
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Nunavut
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream
In light of having been formerly introduced to the heirachy of this forum I'd like to wish Happy Birthday to the Pastor!
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It is good that you are are learning to mind your place, little boy. Do not displease me by stepping out of line again.
Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 189
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Sept-Îles, Québec
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 06:35 PM
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Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
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Posts: 7,220
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-15-2011, 08:36 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel. I trust you enjoyed my wife's pie she delivered to you last night. Stupid woman was an hour late, said she got lost on the way home. How many times has she been to your place and she still gets lost
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 11
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-16-2011, 08:00 AM
hey billy bob jenkins. no one cares your wife is deformed. you are a fag.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! -
07-16-2011, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxativeBro
hey billy bob jenkins. no one cares your wife is deformed. you are a fag.
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Thanks for ruining my birthday, demon.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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