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Default Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 03:50 PM
So today's the Big Day and He/he is nowhere around. Did The Word™ leak out about the Special loaf of Dungbread I made Him/him and he is such a shy Man he/He figured there wouldn't be enough to go around for everyone, figuring that "It's Better to give than Receive?"

Pastor Ezekiel! Come back to your Confederacy of Christians! ! I won't call you E-Z Eek any more in public!
There's still plenty of my Good Dungbread left, with lots of your own private-label Beverage to wash it down with





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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 04:31 PM
Happy Birthday Zeke! (Assuming you're still alive... )
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Thumbs down Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 04:36 PM
Birthdays are SCIENCE's way of making you stop thinking about God and think about yourself.

If you celebrate your own birthday it is the same as masturbation and gayetry and you will burn in the lake of fire with the sodomites and athiests.

If you celebrate the birthday of another male (and you yourself are male) then this is an act of gayism and you will burn in the lake of fire.

If you celebrate the birthday of ANYONE ELSE you love God less! This is a fact!

Mark 13:22

For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shewe signes and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, euen the elect.
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 04:40 PM
ProvHerbs 5:12-15
Quote:
Monster grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the Noodle to know the difference. I remember that an elephant never forgets, but i forget what the elephant remembered. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Flying Spaghetti Monster, please give me the hunger to eat the pasta I can, the humility to accept that I can eat no more when too full, and the wisdom to remember where I live when I'm trashed on Holy Friday.
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 04:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream View Post
you celebrate the birthday of another male (and you yourself are male) then this is an act of gayism and you will burn in the lake of fire.
Um, did you just call me a fag?
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 05:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Enoch View Post
Um, did you just call me a fag?
I think he did, I also think he is saying that if you celebrate the birthday of the baby jesus you are also a fag, or does it not count when it comes to mythical people?

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream View Post
Birthdays are SCIENCE's way of making you stop thinking about God and think about yourself. Blah, blah, blah.
Although I may be Damned to Hell forever for this (by our Church Pastors).....WTF?!?!?!

How dare you try to ruin Pastor Ezekiel's Birth-day like this?!
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 05:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
How dare you try to ruin Pastor Ezekiel's Birth-day like this?!
See the half-hearted apology I had to force out of him here.

The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 05:27 PM
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Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Although I may be Damned to Hell forever for this (by our Church Pastors).....WTF?!?!?!
Don't worry: Sarah Palin says it all the time now.

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 06:07 PM
In light of having been formerly introduced to the heirachy of this forum I'd like to wish Happy Birthday to the Pastor!

In regards to the witch hunt forming against me;

Know who else does witch hunts? WITCHES! that's right. Please forgive me for overstepping the pecking order here on my induction into these Godly forums.

I hope the good pastor and my fellow brothers and sisters can see my intentions here are good.
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 06:10 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel! FedEx will be delivering 100lbs of juicy polar bear steaks to you before 5 PM. Enjoy!

Exodus 22:20 He that sacrificeth unto any god, save unto the LORD only, he shall be utterly destroyed.
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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 06:10 PM
Are you suggesting that the pastor is a witch? Because in case you didn't notice he's a dude.

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 06:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SodaStream View Post
In light of having been formerly introduced to the heirachy of this forum I'd like to wish Happy Birthday to the Pastor!
It is good that you are are learning to mind your place, little boy. Do not displease me by stepping out of line again.

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 06:35 PM
Bon Fête Pastor Ezekiels!! I am hoping you have much pea soup and much poutines today!!

Thank you for all the private instructions you have giving me!!

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-15-2011, 08:36 PM
Happy Birthday Pastor Ezekiel. I trust you enjoyed my wife's pie she delivered to you last night. Stupid woman was an hour late, said she got lost on the way home. How many times has she been to your place and she still gets lost

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Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-16-2011, 08:00 AM
hey billy bob jenkins. no one cares your wife is deformed. you are a fag.
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Blessed Birthday, PASTOR EZEKIEL!!! - 07-16-2011, 05:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LaxativeBro View Post
hey billy bob jenkins. no one cares your wife is deformed. you are a fag.
Thanks for ruining my birthday, demon.

Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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