I just learned that Martin Luther King jr. was a conservative Republican True Christian™. The liberal bias historians really had me brainwashed! Now that I think about it, it's so obvious he was a republican: he was into good stuff, and against bad stuff. He even once used the word "
character". How did I not see that?
I'm too young to have every hung out with MLK, but he sounds like a cool guy. The perfect kind of black friend is one who you can trust with the females in your life, the kind who's already well-drained because he's got so many far hotter white girlfriends on his rolodex.
So, what golf clubs was he in? Must of been pretty exclusive ones, I heard you Gold Tithers have one where the grass is imported from some mountaintop in the Andes or something, sounds hardcore. Heard you can only get there by helicopter, it's like the James Bond secret base of golfing. Sweet!
What guns did he like to shoot? I googled around, and found a co-relation between "Martin Luther King" and the "Remington Gamemaster Model 760". 88,400 results for the two terms together, so he seems to be a Remington fan.
He was certainly up-to-date with the NRA mailing list, he followed their talking points on media violence (almost) word for word:
By our silence, by our willingness to compromise principle, by our constant attempt to cure the cancer of racial injustice with the Vaseline of gradualism, by our readiness to allow arms to be purchased at will and fired at whim, by allowing our movie and television screens to teach our children that the hero is one who masters the art of shooting and the technique of killing, by allowing all these developments, we have created an atmosphere in which violence and hatred have become popular pastimes.
- Martin Luther King Jr.
No doubt he would agree that slavery only happened because Africans didn't have 30-round magazines, cop-killer bullets, and fingerprint-proof grips. And obviously he was against background checks for gun purchasers, since those discriminate against the insane, and therefore most blacks.

How many bullets in that magazine? Less than 30, he's definitely a victim of gun control.