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Default Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AGAIN! - 05-15-2011, 08:43 AM
Brothers and sisters, we need your prayers tonight. About two hours ago, I received a phone call from fellow church member Rebuko the Clown who was thrown in jail today under completely bogus allegations. I will admit though that I was quite flattered that he used his only phone call on me, since he knew I am a man that can make things happen. Just another case of Christian persecution that goes on today under our new Obama-nation.

Rebuko aka Starshine Simpson (a birth name given to him by his hippie mother) aka "Steve" Simpson is in serious trouble. For the past two months, he has worked as a janitor and handyman for the local Girl Scouts here in Iowa at Camp Tanglefoot. This is what apparently happened...

At 7:30 this evening, several girl scouts were on a nature hike on the outer perimeter of the compound. One girl went to relieve herself in a nearby pit outhouse. As she defecated, she claimed to have heard a "heavy breathing" below her. She shined her flashlight down into the toilet and saw Rebuko looking up at her, feces on his face, masturbating. She screamed and fled the outhouse.

What Rebuko told me over the phone was that yes, he was down in the bottom of the toilet pit, but he was trying to unclog a drain. I asked him why he thought a pit outhouse would have a drain and he didn't know. Look, the guy is innocent, not smart. It was a simple mistake you or I could make. I asked him about the masturbation claims and he refuted it. He swore on Jesus's good name he was not masturbating while having a pre-pubescent girl take a dump on his face. All he was trying to do was clean a toilet for $7 an hour.

I think what is happening is that a True Christian™ brother is being railroaded by the system. We live in sue-happy times where every man is a rapist and every Christian is an enemy of the state. I think we all know deep down that this is a horrible misunderstanding and Brother Rebuko is innocent. I mean, this is a man so humble he opens up his home for children to have fun in! Why is such a wonderful person being persecuted?

I am praying so hard tonight, and making arrangements for my top lawyer to represent him pro bono and hopefully he will be free from this very, very soon.


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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 03:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
At 7:30 this evening, several girl scouts were on a nature hike on the outer perimeter of the compound. One girl went to relieve herself in a nearby pit outhouse. As she defecated, she claimed to have heard a "heavy breathing" below her.
Exposing herself in public, probably drunk....aren't these (lizzie) girl Scouts notorious for things of this sort? Witnessing scatology, too! POOR BROTHER REBUKO!

PS The "heavy breathing" sound probably came from winds generated by her own stretched-out, self-abused, worn-out cooter.
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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-17-2011, 12:05 PM
A careful examination of the awards given to Brother Rebuko clearly shows he has earned the highly coveted "Ex Masturbator" medal.

The Pastors do not award such medals lightly.

Therefore the masturbation charge is clearly evidence of how we True Christians™ are being persecuted.

The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court

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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 09:57 AM
This is so sad!

Why are they so mean to that nice clown?

I Jesus!
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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 12:05 PM
I am shocked and outraged. What can I do to help? All Rebuko wants to do is put a smile on peoples feces.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Last edited by James Hutchins; 05-15-2011 at 12:06 PM. Reason: Typo. I meant 'faces', not 'feces'.
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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 01:58 PM
Rebuko should sue those girls, their were the ones relieving themselves on man!

I don't understand why Rebuko is in Jail.

Romans 1:18 - For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who hold the truth in unrighteousness;
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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 02:21 PM
Us True Christians seem to get dumped on all the time these days. But now we also get arrested for it as well. This is no different from the persecution suffered by the early Christian martyrs!

(apart from the poopy face and the masturbation.)

YiC

Jack

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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 02:39 PM
The witness is obviously not competent. Either she is too young to know what masturbation is, or she's too much of a harlot to be trusted by anyone.

Also, other parts of her story just don't seem to make sense and I can't believe it. I demand a full recreation of the scene until I am satisfied.

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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 02:53 PM
Instead of going after Brother Rebuko with these frivolous and largely untrue charges, why not go after the REAL criminals, like:

- people who remove the Ten Commandments from court houses

- abortion doctors

- joo bankers

Etc., etc.



Yours in Christ,

Z. Smyth

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Default Re: Pray for our brother Rebuko. FALSE SEX CRIMES ALLEGATIONS..AG - 05-15-2011, 02:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jack O'fagan View Post
Us True Christians seem to get dumped on all the time these days.
"Pun intended" Brother John?
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