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Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.Naomi Ruth Lamb has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Bible The Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship - 03-26-2017, 07:32 PM

After speaking with the administration of Landover Baptist University and coming together with the men who help ensure its continued accreditation, we finally reached a climax that I am happy to share with you here.


Everyone knows that I am shy and demure, and I do not ever wish to sing my own praises. I try to always make the Lord first and myself way, way down the list so that His Glory is apparent and my small, humble work for Him only magnifies His Name.


It is with that same spirit of humility that I announce the formation of the Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship, which shall be available to deserving young men of all specializations. In addition, another fund has been established strictly for those involved in research for Creation Science, which has been aptly named the White-Lamb Scholarship in honor of Dr. Professor Elmer White, illustrious and distinguished faculty member whose works in the field of Creationism and the science behind it are regarded quite auspiciously by true masters in that field. But there's more:


The Naomi Ruth Lamb Comfort Station Fund - monies with which the bathrooms of the university will be completely renovated and tastefully appointed - now has $250,000 and continues to receive donations from customers of Naomi's Moist Pie in special collection boxes across the country. These boxes will be sent to the building committee under the watchful eye of Brother Bathfire. I will hire by contract special bathroom supervisors to ensure that the vandalism and graffiti that was formerly found in these "necessary rooms" is a thing of the past forever. For those who do not know, such hateful slogans and slurs were found on the walls that it behooves me to speak no more of them here.


And we must praise our Lord yet once more, since the deficit facing the university for the past five years has now been resolved and LBU is operating in the clear financially as I have loaned over 75 million dollars long term with low, Christian-like interest rates, a sum which not only paid past debts including salaries of faculty and staff, but allows for hiring of five additional professors in various departments. The hiring will be managed by Dr. Enobarbus, Dr. White, Dr. Bathfire, and special consultant and education experts to be determined after investigation by the Department of Faith. Naturally, Pastor Ezekiel will have the final say on hiring since his spiritual expertise and direct line to Jesus is invaluable in such matters.


Please do NOT thank me - I am merely the humble and wealthy successful businesswoman who kept LBU from being closed permanently in five weeks. No - please direct the glory to GOD and His provision, which is unspeakable, as the songwriter of this great hymn of the faith explains:


"He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.

When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father's full giving is only begun.

Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.

His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again."


Of course, that song could also be written about me, but let's not talk about that fact now, because Jesus deserves the credit and I know He will bless the University to pay me back.


In Humility and Praise to God Almighty,
NRL


For those of you who are simply obsessed with thanking me, gifts and notes of appreciation can be sent to my new office on the campus of LBU at this address: Miss Naomi Ruth Lamb, Landover Baptist University, 777 Naomi Ruth Lamb Way, Freehold, Iowa. Please do not send them to my home address of 1380 Apostle's Park Court, Freehold, Iowa, as I am only residing there sporadically until I feel my work here in Dallas is complete. Of course, if you feel led by God to write to both addresses, I am sure Christ will honor you tenfold come the Glory.


1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers."
Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship - 03-26-2017, 09:43 PM

I give God ALL the glory - every single bit of it, with no praise or thanks whatsoever to the deeds of any person on earth. EVERY OUNCE of the honor goes to the ALMIGHTY GOD, without whom we are nothing.


I am dancing in the Spirit, as the entire congregation of the Pentecostal Holiness Church did here in West Virginia today (where I am representing a rapist who wants to marry his victim). We sang and shouted and danced as the Lord moved among us, hugging and loving each other as we circled the sanctuary 7 times.


I will be making my own announcement about funding Landover Baptist University shortly. Hallelujah! Baptize me with Your Spirt, LORD! Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen!


Mike H


A half truth is a whole lie.
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Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Michael Hezekiah Esq is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship - 04-08-2017, 10:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
I give God ALL the glory - every single bit of it, with no praise or thanks whatsoever to the deeds of any person on earth. EVERY OUNCE of the honor goes to the ALMIGHTY GOD, without whom we are nothing.


I am dancing in the Spirit, as the entire congregation of the Pentecostal Holiness Church did here in West Virginia today (where I am representing a rapist who wants to marry his victim). We sang and shouted and danced as the Lord moved among us, hugging and loving each other as we circled the sanctuary 7 times.


I will be making my own announcement about funding Landover Baptist University shortly. Hallelujah! Baptize me with Your Spirit, LORD! Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen and Amen!


Mike H

I will NOT be funding Landover University and I urge all of you to follow suit. We must not spread false teachings. The earth is ROUND. The Messiah has not yet come. God loves women and treats them as equals. God loves homosexuals although he despises the sin. We evolved through time after God created us, millions of years ago. That, folks, is creation TRUTH.


A half truth is a whole lie.
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Default Re: The Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship - 04-09-2017, 02:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hezekiah Esq View Post
I will NOT be funding Landover University and I urge all of you to follow suit. We must not spread false teachings. The earth is ROUND. The Messiah has not yet come. God loves women and treats them as equals. God loves homosexuals although he despises the sin. We evolved through time after God created us, millions of years ago. That, folks, is creation TRUTH.
Has Hezekiah the equestrian been thrown from a horse and hit his head? He is suddenly talking nonsense.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: The Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship - 04-11-2017, 03:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Has Hezekiah the equestrian been thrown from a horse and hit his head? He is suddenly talking nonsense.
Suddenly?






Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb View Post
It is with that same spirit of humility that I announce the formation of the Naomi Ruth Lamb Scholarship
A scholarship is a very good idea. Has anyone noticed how when secular types "offer a scholarship" they expect to get the say-so about what is taught?

"Here is what we will be investigating!" they say.
"Oh, look here are the facts we will discover," some rubbish they thought up last night but which will ensure continued strong sales for their publishing house.
"These are the conclusions you will all reach."

It is refreshing to have an unbiased source for this important area of funding.
 

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