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Reload this Page Officer Richards Bachelor Party
WEDDING BELLS! - Christian Wedding Forum A seasonal forum hosted by cyber Bridesmaids, Daisy Mae Johnson, Sister Mary Etheldreda and Sister Talitha . Groomly advice is also offered from Best Man, Pastor Zeke!

 
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 06-30-2009, 04:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
I hope you save the Bride a dance. You look like you can really boogy!
Why, thanks for the compliment, Sister Thumper! I don't mean to brag, but I really did "get down" with these negro bucks. Amazingly, these guys never even seen anyone do "The Hustle" before until I showed them. There was a lot of laughter and shocked faces, but only because they were so impressed that an older white guy like me is still "groovy" with the younger generation and "totally radical" in his dance moves. I taught these young dudes how to be "far out" and "bodacious".


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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 06-30-2009, 04:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I am given to understand that there will be a swimming pool available at this bachelor party.

Since I'm unable to attend, but am very concerned about water safety -- I nearly drowned myself at a local man's bachelor party down at the lake last year -- I'd like to send an early present . . . A couple of special flotation devices, to be sure nobody drowns.

To whom should I send them?
I've purchased the special flotation devices. Where do I send them? Could someone send me a PM with an address? (At this late date, they'll have to go to a street address, not a P.O. Box. I'll ship UPS 2nd Day.)

Thanks!

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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 06-30-2009, 10:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer View Post
I've purchased the special flotation devices. Where do I send them? Could someone send me a PM with an address? (At this late date, they'll have to go to a street address, not a P.O. Box. I'll ship UPS 2nd Day.)

Thanks!
I PMed you Pastor Ezekiel's address! Make sure you send it there since he's going to be the first stop once we hit Freehold tomorrow and I'm dying to show him this awesome RV! I can't wait to see these flotation devices....we do plan on having an outrageous pool party so they will be perfect for the festivities!

Thanks again Rev. Rodimer, and I'll be sure to send you HD videos live from the Bachelor Party straight to your computer!


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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-02-2009, 07:08 PM
Here I am in Freehold finally! It was a long drive, but well worth it! I finally got to meet the wonderful residents of this beautiful and perfect town. We stopped by Pastor Zeke's place and he gave me a personal tour of his mansion....outstanding! I also met his lovely fiancee Sister Thumper (I can't believe that engagement has been going on for over 6 years...marry this beautiful woman, Zeke!), many of Landover's other residents, Bob, Nobar, Heathen Basher, Ezekiel Bathfire, Sister Sue, Sister M&M, Jenny, Capt. Portway, Prof. Bessemer and many, many more.

All the unsaved ladies from Europe have arrived on time and currently boarded up in various homes around the town. The menfolk have been very generous and kind in opening up their bedrooms as places for these young women to stay! Now that is something Jesus would do!

Tonight we are going to have a Pre-Bachelor Party Party, to celebrate the Bachelor Party tomorrow night. Rev. Rodimer sent us some inflatables for the pool party and I will post pics up later. Of course, I didn't come empty handed....I brought a whole case of Crown Royal Royal Crown Cola for the gentlemen tonight. Mix them with club soda, and we'll be ready to party!


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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-02-2009, 07:26 PM
How charming, Reverend Jim!

The only thing missing is A Lady to Preach Deuteronomy or Leviticus, (maybe even a little Mix n' Match!) then do some loud and hearty Witnessing and Testifying, for, oh, say the usual amount of time.....maybe five or six hours.

Perhaps Mother Glynndie could even be persuaded to bring over a plate of her Godly Snickerdoodles.

I shall Volunteer. I once lived in the Godly state of Tennessee, you know!
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-02-2009, 07:46 PM
I should be rolling into Landover about midnight. I have the reefer loaded with all the frozen foods, Rev. Osborne's 'personal Items' and more. Mrs. Hitchin's is staying home to take care of the farm. I brought her baby sister (no baby at 19) along with me as she had never been more then 15 miles from where she was born. That girl has some wide moutheyes! Was a delight riding herthe road with her!

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-02-2009, 08:49 PM
Where's that pilot? I haven't heard from him for days. I'm over at my buddy's,
Honza Svejk, and It's 10 minutes to the airport from there, so if I don't hear something soon I may have to open somethings sooner!

Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-02-2009, 11:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Rev. Rodimer sent us some inflatables for the pool party and I will post pics up later.
They arrived! Great!

I can't wait to see the pics of the gents enjoying the flotation devices. I got them from a special online Christian shop.

Quote:
I brought a whole case of Crown Royal Royal Crown Cola for the gentlemen tonight. Mix them with club soda, and we'll be ready to party!
Wouldn't that be a bit watery? RC Cola mixed with club soda?

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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 01:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
I should be rolling into Landover about midnight. I have the reefer loaded
We do not allow that demon weed here in Landover



Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 01:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
We do not allow that demon weed here in Landover
Surely you can tell by the context that James simply made a verbal slip! It did not mean "reefer", but "freezer". No one here smokes that stuff...especially that skunk, purple kush, or Humboldt strains of weed that are so thickly powdered with THC crystals, you get stoned off of one hit. Do not worry. There will be no pot-smoking circles at the party!


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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 02:21 AM
I would hope that there would be prayer circles instead!

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Smile Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 10:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
We do not allow that demon weed here in Landover
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne View Post
Surely you can tell by the context that James simply made a verbal slip! It did not mean "reefer", but "freezer". No one here smokes that stuff...especially that skunk, purple kush, or Humboldt strains of weed that are so thickly powdered with THC crystals, you get stoned off of one hit. Do not worry. There will be no pot-smoking circles at the party!

A reefer is a refrigerated box. Sorry for using trucker lingo.

I will not be handing out drugs at the party. So, if you are looking for pot, speed, 'X', prescription drugs, be sure to ask me and I'll tell you the same thing

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 02:17 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by James Hutchins View Post
A reefer is a refrigerated box. Sorry for using trucker lingo.

I will not be handing out drugs at the party. So, if you are looking for pot, speed, 'X', prescription drugs, be sure to ask me and I'll tell you the same thing
That is a great relief Brother. I will be sure to have a rewarding conversation with you on the subject at the party.

Thank God no one has mentioned Thai bud, sinful stuff.



Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 02:28 PM
One question only: Is Don Bozo del Guapo planning on being there?
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 03:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
One question only: Is Don Bozo del Guapo planning on being there?
Sister Sue, does your lust know no bounds ?



Leviticus 26:27-29

27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.
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SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 03:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord View Post
Sister Sue, does your lust know no bounds ?
But Brother Sayved, how could any True Christian Lady resist trying to C-o-n-Vert
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 08:02 PM
Phew! I made it to Freehold just in time, but getting here wasn't easy.

A big problem is that my driver's license was revoked due to a mild medical condition (paranoid schizophrenia). It's just another example of why we need to get rid of big government - a driver's license is another form of liberal oppression. Do you think our Founding Fathers like George Washington and Ronald Reagan had driver's licenses? I rest my case.

Anyway, lacking a driver's license, and not wanting to take socialist public transportation, I had to get to Freehold by an indirect route - via Wichita, Kansas.

As all of you no doubt know, Wichita was the home of the notorious Dr Killer, a baby murderer who operated an abortion clinic that my fine organization, Operation Rescue, has been fighting for years. Dr Killer was particularly notorious because he'd perform late-term abortions on women who falsely claimed they had medical complications with their pregnancies.

You also no doubt know that on May 31, the liberal media accused totally innocent Scott Roeder of murdering Dr Killer. It's a total lie. What happened is that the abortionist, overcome by guilt for all the babies he's murdered, finally committed suicide by shooting himself in the back six times while attending church.

Anyway, I was able to hitch a ride to Wichita with a group of fellow Operation Rescue protesters. We went to Wichita to celebrate mourn. After the party funeral, we then spent several days outside the still-operating clinic harassing employees and knocked-up harlots informing misguided pregnant women of their alternatives such as dying in child birth adoption. Of course, we used perfectly legal methods to get our message across, such as bullhorns, plastering their cars with photos of dead fetuses, calling their employers to ask them why they hire baby murderers, and posting the harlots' names, addresses and phone numbers on pervert web sites.

After the festivities services ended, I then hitched a ride with other fellow Operation Rescue nutcases people to Freehold. I'm so happy to finally be here! And so looking forward to one hell of a great party!

Praise Jesus!
Brother Buford

yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



The only way to reduce the number of nuclear weapons is to use them.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-03-2009, 08:35 PM
Glad to see you here in the nick of time, Brother Buford! No doubt you'll have a wonderful ecstatic experience tonight at the Bachelor Party as you convert some young women aged 18-24 that really need Jesus! There's more women than I can minister to, so hopefully you will be able to help with their salvation.

Last night we had a pre-Bachelor Party Party in Pastor Zeke's gorgeous backyard Olympic-sized pool with rock waterfalls, waterslides, and exotic landscaping. The Rev. Rodimer was kind enough to send us over some inflatables for the pool party and we had a lot of fun with them...

One of the inflatables was Dolly the Sheep. She represents the "Lamb of God" who takes away the sins of the world. She's also a reminder that Christ is our shepherd and that we are His flock. Rev. Rodimer has a keen eye for symbolism!



Unfortunately there was a slight mix-up. See, Rev. Rodimer ordered an inflatable Jesus so we could celebrate our Lord and Savior at the party, but due to a clerical error they sent us the wrong inflatable....



Still, we had fun nonetheless...especially Pastor Zeke and Bob4God. All in all it was a great night and I converted three -- yes, Three -- unsaved women. But it was very exhausting and I slept like a baby. Of course now I have a headache from all the whiskey witnessing I partook in last night. Need to go back to bed. I'll be there tonight at the Actual Bachelor Party with our Guest of Honor, Officer Don W. Richards!!!


Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-04-2009, 04:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Professor Tyeisha X View Post

I have fought for undocumented immigrants rights!!

I'm sorry, but sense when do criminal, illegal aliens have any rights??
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Default Re: Officer Richards Bachelor Party - 07-04-2009, 08:14 PM
I think illegals have the right to not:

Have crimes committed against them investigated and prosecuted
Be accommodated in any way

The do have the right to:

Be exploited
Abused
Treated like the vermin they are


That all said, I like my messican gardener. One dollar a day or I call 'Immgraccion!' 12+ hours of labor a day with nary a complaint. I rarely hit him unless I am in a foul mood and cannot find my wife or kids.

Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
 
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