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Default Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-14-2006, 07:22 PM

From England..

Two altar boys from St. Andrews ages 17 and 21 imitated Darth Vader, and made light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That's right, they opened them up, poured gasoline inside, and lit them. As one can imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. Darth Vader died, while his opponent survived to 'fess up to their creative, but stupid, reenactment. They were going to fight over the priest who was dressed as Barbarella.

From Brazil..

Comes the story of a dumb catlick who tried to disassemble a Rocket Propelled Grenade (RPG) by driving back and forth over it with a car. This technique was ineffective, so he escalated to pounding the RPG
with a sledgehammer. The second try worked--in a sense. The explosion proved fatal to one man, six cars, and the repair shop wherein the efforts took place. 14 more RPG grenades were found in a car parked nearby. Police believe the ammunition was being scavenged to melt into Madonna figurines.


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Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 04:43 AM

uhh.. you made that last one up.
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Unhappy Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 06:15 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.I Hail Mary From New Orleans View Post
uhh.. you made that last one up.
Mr.N'awlins, i not no where you get your bad informashuns from, but Mr.Pastor Pistle check his innernet sorces wiv a fine-toothed combs it be the same combs he use on his comb-over, so there!
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 06:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Hail From New Orleans View Post
uhh.. you made that last one up.
Uhhhhhhhhhhh....no I didn't.


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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 01:06 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
From England..

Two altar boys from St. Andrews ages 17 and 21...
I think these lads were Anglicans, not good sturdy Catholics. Our Altar boys are always much younger, which is why we call them boys. This is yet another example of the baseless hostility and disinformation smears The Church suffers at the hands of Baptwits. It is little wonder they remain a backward and marginalised cult.



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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 01:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
From England..

Two altar boys from St. Andrews ages 17 and 21 imitated Darth Vader, and made light sabres from fluorescent light tubes. That's right, they opened them up, poured gasoline inside, and lit them. As one can imagine, a Star Wars sized explosion was not far behind. Darth Vader died, while his opponent survived to 'fess up to their creative, but stupid, reenactment. They were going to fight over the priest who was dressed as Barbarella.
Is there any evil in this world that can't be traced to Jane Fonda in one way or another?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 02:24 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Is there any evil in this world that can't be traced to Jane Fonda in one way or another?
http://www.truthorfiction.com/rumors/j/janefonda.htm


Well, she is a Baptist after all.




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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-15-2006, 02:52 PM

And just think, if those young altar boys were right with the Lord and weren't going around worshipping Mary statues, they might have had the sense to NOT go around idolising Darth Vader...

Ah well, I'm sure they're regretting not being properly Saved and fighting over a priest now, burning in Hell!!

~Rain
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-16-2006, 12:17 AM

Assuming all of those are true, what kind of smear campaign is this against the good name of the Catholic Church? They were obviously acting on their own accord.
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-16-2006, 01:04 AM

"Good name" of the Cathylicker Church? Good name?! Sir, where have *you* been for, oh, the past 2,000 years? The Cathylick Church has one of the most unmentionable names of all time!


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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-16-2006, 11:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
I think these lads were Anglicans, not good sturdy Catholics.
We're no bigger fans of the Angler-can't "church" than we are of the Roman institution. The Angler-can'ts, like the Loserans, are just Cathylicks without the Pope. Besides, while a Barbarella costume can presumably be a perfectly acceptable liturgical vestment in any of those "churches," you won't catch True Christian™ pastors dressing in that fashion.

Quote:
Our Altar boys are always much younger, which is why we call them boys.
We don't want to hear about Roman priests and much younger boys, "Father" Badtouch.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-16-2006, 11:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
Well, she is a Baptist after all.
She may go to a church that calls itself Baptist, but she is obviously no True Christian™:
Quote:
Originally Posted by the article posted by "Father" Mo
She said she regards herself as a "feminist Christian" and is trying to reconcile that what she calls the "patriarchal, hierarchal structure" of Christianity.
That sounds to me like a typical cafeteria "Christian" who rewrites any Scripture that gets in the way of her liberal lifestyle choices -- in other words, more like a Romanist than a True Christian™.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 03:54 AM

Today's secular news brings the latest reports of pope ratty's pathetic attempts to purchase young boys from the deluded mary-worshippers. Unfortunately for him, no one took the bait.

Quote:
Pope "loses" ring, crowd tosses it back

VERONA, Italy (Reuters) - Pope Benedict may have to have his ring tightened.

According to Italian media reports, the papal ring "slipped" off his finger twice while he was shaking hands with well-wishers as he left Verona's Bentegodi stadium Thursday.

The brainwashed mary-worshippers into whose palms the gold ring fell promptly gave it back each time.

The ring is known as the "Fisherman's Ring," because it depicts St Peter, the first pope, casting a net into the sea. The catlickers cult is hated by Jesus and all True Christians...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 08:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Today's secular news brings the latest reports of pope ratty's pathetic attempts to purchase young boys from the deluded mary-worshippers. Unfortunately for him, no one took the bait.
I wouldn't have given it back. GOD HIMSELF is removing Pope Ratstinger by giving away his worthless pewter accoutrements and the pisanos keep giving them back. How stupid! But then, I wouldn't have been shaking hands with him. Who knows where the old bastard's hand has been? If I had known that Cardinal Mwogunga Itttitutsu wasn't a shoe in, I wouldn't have spent all that time getting rid of the LAST pope.


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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 02:36 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
...I wouldn't have spent all that time getting rid of the LAST pope.
One does not get rid of the Pope. When our Lord and Saviour decides it is time for a new Holy Father for his Church he calls the Pope to Heaven and a new one is chosen. Many Vicars of Christ go on to become Saints and all of them leave a legacy of inspired writings so that the instructions they received from God are forever available to all mankind. This is but one of the many reasons that the Holy Father is amongst the world's most revered leaders and respected symbol of goodness on God's earth.




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Father Mo


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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 02:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Maurice Lester View Post
One does not get rid of the Pope. When our Lord and Saviour decides it is time for a new Holy Father for his Church he calls the Pope to Heaven and a new one is chosen. Many Vicars of Christ go on to become Saints and all of them leave a legacy of inspired writings so that the instructions they received from God are forever available to all mankind. This is but one of the many reasons that the Holy Father is amongst the world's most revered leaders and respected symbol of goodness on God's earth.

Bless you my repeat offender,
Father Mo
Mo, when you post this kind of drunken nonsense, you're only embarrassing yourself.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 10:16 PM

Father Lester has bviously been reading the "Top-Shelf" Magazines again.
I thought these had been banned within our walls.
Name:  pope5fq.gif
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Perhaps he aspires to a position far higher than he is capable of?
.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 10:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Father Lester has bviously been reading the "Top-Shelf" Magazines again.
I thought these had been banned within our walls.


Perhaps he aspires to a position far higher than he is capable of?
.
He is a drunken pederast who hates God. I see no reason why he cannot reach the highest possible posts within the Vatican.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Talitha Talitha is offline
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Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-21-2006, 11:01 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
He is a drunken pederast who hates God. I see no reason why he cannot reach the highest possible posts within the Vatican.
As you say Brother Temperance, but he may have to climb over under or through thousands of other True Catholic Perverts before reaching a position at the top of this Cattlicking Cult.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Mrs. Rogers Mrs. Rogers is offline
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Default Re: Catholics Today: What nonsense are they up to now? - 10-23-2006, 03:43 AM

Quote:
VERONA, Italy (Reuters) - Pope Benedict may have to have his ring tightened.[snip]
So Ratsinger is considering an extreme makeover of the unmentionable kind, in an attempt to recapture the snugness of his Nazi Youth? I haven't the nerve to read further.


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