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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-03-2007, 05:28 PM
Brother Williams and I were talking after Bible study Thursday, and the topic of the wonderful array of gated True Christian™ lifestyle communities in the Freehold area came up. Brother Williams said that Exodus Acres Phase II was the most beautiful gated residential development that he's ever seen, but I'm somewhat partial to my own gated True Christian™ lifestyle community. What does everyone else think?
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-03-2007, 10:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by H. Montague Worthington
Brother Williams and I were talking after Bible study Thursday, and the topic of the wonderful array of gated True Christian™ lifestyle communities in the Freehold area came up. Brother Williams said that Exodus Acres Phase II was the most beautiful gated residential development that he's ever seen, but I'm somewhat partial to my own gated True Christian™ lifestyle community. What does everyone else think?
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It was only a minor friendly debate, Brother Worthington - soon to be rectified. My point was that Exodus Acres Phase II was built entirely using old growth lumber (which the LIEbral peacenik environmentalists have temporarily prevented us from using). There is nothing like old growth lumber for its strength and beauty. I nearly gagged recently to see some of the cheap bamboo cabinets that the chinks are trying to foist on us at the Lumberrama. The developer informs me that as soon as the Republicans re-take congress we will again have ample supplies of old growth stock.
I am pleased that the council finally approved the return of the nostalgic gas streetlights modeled after those used by Frederick Law Olmsted. The cross-shaped mantles are a nice touch and I hear that they can double as cellular antennas.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 12:36 AM
Obviously, I don't know the area as well as you lot, but on my trips to the City upon a Hill, I've always been impressed by Exodus Acres Phase III. I mean, don't get me wrong, Exodus Acres Phase II has it's charm and all, but Exodus Acres Phase III just has that certain extra something, if you know what I mean. Certainly knocks Maker's Mill flat on its fundament, that's for sure.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Anvil of the Antipodes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,269
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: policing mockery of the free internets
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 01:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Obviously, I don't know the area as well as you lot, but on my trips to the City upon a Hill, I've always been impressed by Exodus Acres Phase III. I mean, don't get me wrong, Exodus Acres Phase II has it's charm and all, but Exodus Acres Phase III just has that certain extra something, if you know what I mean. Certainly knocks Maker's Mill flat on its fundament, that's for sure.
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Zion Hills - nowhere else offers the amenities (the toilet cubicles attached to the tennis courts just have so much room inside them!!!), nowhere else offers the shuttle service to the marina, and the only 'foreigner' is a 3rd generation mexican who speaks english perfectly!
I can drive to church in my Golf Buggy, and straight onto the first tee within minutes.
I particularly enjoy the concealed security extras, like the razor wire and unobtrusive CCTV cameras and the shopping mall has one of the best stocked gunshops I have ever been in.
If i do have a complaint, its that the Helipad is located a little too close for my liking.
The devil, whose business is to pervert the truth, mimics the exact circumstance of the Divine Sacraments. He baptises his believers and promises forgiveness of sins...he celebrates the oblation of bread, and brings in the symbol of the resurrection. Let us therefore acknowledge the craftiness of the devil, who copied certain things of those that be divine." Tertullian (155-222 AD) from The Prescription Against Heretics' Ch XL
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Predestinated Servant of Jesus Christ by the Will of God True Christian™ Theologian
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,420
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 01:51 AM
Monty, you are wicked!
Well, I may as well let you all in on the news. Our own Freehold is about to become the beneficiary of its own Thomas Kinkade Village. That's right. I know Tali and BAB are practically peeing in their slacks over the news, but Mr. Kinkade -- the "Painter of Light" himself -- has decided that we're the PERFECT demographic to support an ultra-exclusive subdivision of custom-built homes, where the homes and even the streets are all modeled after some of Kinkade's most sought-after paintings, and the interiors come decorated as if Kinkade had painted them himself. This -- do I need to tell you? -- is an honor for Freehold and a blessing from the Lord.
Mr Kinkade plans to use the following paintings as models for Freehold's "Village".
And of course, Zeke (the Humble Man Of God™ that he is) has got his eye on this one:
I loved Newt before Newt was invincible
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Spiritual Mother of LBC
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,341
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, IA
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 03:06 AM
I just wanted to thank Brother Worthington for NOT including those attached patio homes (Romans Villas) in the poll. I have a hunch that a very wealthy pastor is going to have those villas torn down to make room for her landing strip. FLIGHTY GLENDORA
Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Thank you Pastor Pistle!
Forum Member
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Posts: 969
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: bible belt land
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 04:25 AM
<<I heart Thomas Kinkade.
If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.
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God Squad
True Christian™
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Posts: 9,322
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: rebuking eurotrash commies
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 11:05 AM
I like leviticus landing. The bass really bite!
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 02:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
And of course, Zeke (the Humble Man Of God™ that he is) has got his eye on this one:
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Wow...I can only imagine what the basement'll be like. I like how isolated it is, it looks like it'd be nice and quiet and you wouldn't have to worry about the neighbours...well, you know what I mean.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-04-2007, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Lee
Monty, you are wicked!
Well, I may as well let you all in on the news. Our own Freehold is about to become the beneficiary of its own Thomas Kinkade Village. That's right. I know Tali and BAB are practically peeing in their slacks over the news, but Mr. Kinkade -- the "Painter of Light" himself -- has decided that we're the PERFECT demographic to support an ultra-exclusive subdivision of custom-built homes, where the homes and even the streets are all modeled after some of Kinkade's most sought-after paintings, and the interiors come decorated as if Kinkade had painted them himself. This -- do I need to tell you? -- is an honor for Freehold and a blessing from the Lord.
Mr Kinkade plans to use the following paintings as models for Freehold's "Village".
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That's wonderful news. Even the left-leaning Bible-haters at Conservapedia have recognized him as the very archetype of a painter.
I take it that the cottages to which the ladies retire during that time of the month have been discreetly hidden behind the trees and shrubs. You have to admire such attention to detail.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Foul Sinner on Moderation
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Posts: 67
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: Freehold's Best Gated Community -
12-05-2007, 02:53 AM
the best news ive ever heard on this forum is that yall live in gated communities. that works for everyone.
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