[Tone Whitterman]

I may not have read this whole thread, as I've missed my afternoon nap and will be having it in due course after postin' this here message, but I can't understand how you people can be so dense.

Showers a ride into Satan's arms? More like his big, black crotch! How people can honestly think that the devious eve-spawn can be trusted outside of male supervision is beyond me, especially with high powered water-based tools of masturbation!

Why, my wife of fifty years was constantly supervised. Whenever she needed to clean herself, she'd be damn lucky to get a bath, let alone a shower. I used to take her out back and hose her down along with my dog at the same time. That's how you kill two stones with one bird, younguns.

In fact, the only time she was out of my sight, the dappy women, tripped and fell out of window, catching a noose on the way down. Honestly, only a woman would think a decent place to keep a noose was outside of a window. Silly muppet got everything she deserved if you ask me.

[john12]

How piffleing dare you strike a girl. I am christian but I know jesus would not want you to hit a women . She is innocent she didnt do anything leave her alone. The poor girl is probably trouble and brainwashed if you read this get out now you wont go to hell just read the bibly colsley u can get out.

[James Hutchins]

Originally Posted by john12

How piffleing dare you strike a girl. I am christian but I know jesus would not want you to hit a women . She is innocent she didnt do anything leave her alone. The poor girl is probably trouble and brainwashed if you read this get out now you wont go to hell just read the bibly colsley u can get out.

Come back when you graduate the 2nd grade and learn how to write.

[Meek and Humble]

Originally Posted by john12

How piffleing dare you strike a girl. I am christian but I know jesus would not want you to hit a women . She is innocent she didnt do anything leave her alone. The poor girl is probably trouble and brainwashed if you read this get out now you wont go to hell just read the bibly colsley u can get out.

What is the "bibly colsley" and why are you encouraging our honest women to read it? Is it like some sort of kama sutra book for masturbation methods. Go away, pervert!

[openmindedagnostic]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Call a plumber and have a fixed shower head installed. Or, just duct tape the one you have to the bracket that holds it.

yes because no woman could ever figure out how to take off and reapply duct tape

[Rev. Jim Osborne]

Originally Posted by openmindedagnostic

yes because no woman could ever figure out how to take off and reapply duct tape

That's actually a pretty idiotic suggestion. I keep my duct tape in the garage. My wife is not allowed into the garage unless I give her permission (just like all other True Christian™ men here do so). So, it would be pretty suspicious if I saw her sneaking around in there.

And even if she tried to reapply the same duct tape, it won't hold and her crime would be evident.

Finally, I know you're being sarcastic, but actually a lot of women couldn't figure out to take it off and reapply the tape. You've probably never conversed with many women. God gave them smaller brains then men (it's science, look it up) because their role is to be a servant and to bear children.

[Gedeist4Life]

They way i see this issue is this, i think it's total bullshit that you even allow the woman to shower indoor, to me this seems insane, do as follows, build an outdoorshower, for which she will have to use a pump to get the water flowing.

OR

You could stop being a whifebeating piece of piffleing shit. Lay down and die already, of you pop, i bet you have some rope in the garage

[Levi Jones]

Originally Posted by Gedeist4Life

They way i see this issue is this, i think it's total bullshit that you even allow the woman to shower indoor, to me this seems insane, do as follows, build an outdoorshower, for which she will have to use a pump to get the water flowing.

That's a good point, as long as she was wearing a bathing suit.

[Prophet]

Originally Posted by Levi Jones

That's a good point, as long as she was wearing a bathing suit.

Why even allow her that much privacy? They make very small devices for pleasuring oneself these days. One of her friends could deliver one to her and she could hide it before going out for a shower. Remember, the woman may be beneath us, but she is devious. It was her that tricked Adam in the Garden!

[Michael the Demonboy]

You guys are piffleed in the Head if i ever saw one of you hitting any women any were around me you would be getting the beating of a lifetime you piffleing pussy's. what kinda of a man hits a women i guess its a christian you piffleing pussy losers. you wife was probably in the shower banging her self thinking of a real man not some pinner dick little faggot wife beater who probably has the gay porn stashed in his garage for when your priest comes over. your wife is pregnant and you beat her you idiot do you want a mentally challenged baby, well i guess you'll have someone to hang out with you dumbass! you better hope i dont see you you loser cause i will beat your ass worse than your daddy did you piffleing homo!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Saint Michael

You guys are piffleed in the Head if i ever saw one of you hitting any women any were around me you would be getting the beating of a lifetime you piffleing pussy's. what kinda of a man hits a women i guess its a christian you piffleing pussy losers. you wife was probably in the shower banging her self thinking of a real man not some pinner dick little faggot wife beater who probably has the gay porn stashed in his garage for when your priest comes over. your wife is pregnant and you beat her you idiot do you want a mentally challenged baby, well i guess you'll have someone to hang out with you dumbass! you better hope i dont see you you loser cause i will beat your ass worse than your daddy did you piffleing homo!

Dear Hatemonger;

Thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule of obsessive masturbation and demon worship to drop by God's favorite forum and spew hatred. The Holy Bible says that we are actually Blessed by your persecution. Shout Glory!!

Matthew 5:10 Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
5:11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake.
5:12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.

Enjoy hell. I know that Jesus and I will enjoy watching you burn for all eternity.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel

[Michael the Demonboy]

Father ezikiel you a loser too it people like you that bring our society down telling people to beat there wives when you are supposed to be guiding the on the "holy path" i dont want to be a part of your stupid cult you lame old lonley men why dont you go have sex with an alter boy and shut your faggot mouth you loser. down with god satin will rise again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Saint Michael

Father ezikiel you a loser too it people like you that bring our society down telling people to beat there wives when you are supposed to be guiding the on the "holy path" i dont want to be a part of your stupid cult you lame old lonley men why dont you go have sex with an alter boy and shut your faggot mouth you loser. down with god satin will rise again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We are Landover Baptist Church, not a flock of Mary-worshiping papists. I am not your father, and we do not molest altar boys because we DON'T HAVE ANY!!

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

[Michael the Demonboy]

actually you will be the one rotting in hell you lonley loser and no i dont masturbate all day i have unprotected sex with as many women as i can because i am a real man i dont have to be women i have sex with them you on the other hand sit in your little church trying to gain an ounce of respect from anyone who will give but at the end of the day your just a nobody and thats all you will ever be and you will waste your life be a slave to the church because no one else will except you let alone be respected anywhere you wife beating pussy bitch! and this is not gods favorite forum if god was real he would come down and slap you in the face for ruining his name.

[Brother Enoch]

Originally Posted by Michael the Demonboy

i dont masturbate all day i have unprotected sex with as many women as i can

Your mom doesn't count. So, zero then?

[HTannor]

Originally Posted by Michael the Demonboy

actually you will be the one rotting in hell you lonley loser and no i dont masturbate all day i have unprotected sex with as many women as i can because i am a real man i dont have to be women i have sex with them you on the other hand sit in your little church trying to gain an ounce of respect from anyone who will give but at the end of the day your just a nobody and thats all you will ever be and you will waste your life be a slave to the church because no one else will except you let alone be respected anywhere you wife beating pussy bitch! and this is not gods favorite forum if god was real he would come down and slap you in the face for ruining his name.

After carefully examing this poorly-punctuated and uncapitalized screed, I have reached the conclusion this person is either, 1) some sort of braggart, or, 2) a queer.

[Dakkeh]

Hello, guys.

I would like to introduce two concepts that seem oddly foreign to many of you. These are love and hatred. Love is compassion, gentleness, something all true men should strive for. Hatred is the exact opposite; any act of violence, namely inflicting physical pain in another being is either an accident or an act of hatred. Hatred can also be shown verbally...there is an abundance of verbal hatred in this topic and it is rather saddening.

With that said, now, I would be grateful to have to opportunity to introduce a few more ideas. Feel free to kindly disprove any or all of my ideas, seeing as they are probably very far fetched to some of you. I am simply offering a few thoughts.

-God is not an existing being, but an ancient creation, like a myth passed down, its motives changing within each person to whom it is passed.
-The bible was not created by a divine being, but the same generations of men from which god was created.
-Only concepts that have been proven and can still be proved today can legitimately be considered and rightfully promoted as fact.
-Such is why science is far more legitimate in explaining natural phenomenons.
-Evolution is an example of one of these proven phenomenons.
-The only way to live an ideal human life is to live with an open mind and acceptance of others.
-Sexual pleasure received in any form is beneficial to the mind and the body, excluding STDs. (this point is relevant to the topic post)
-Discrimination against any belief, gender or racial group is an act of hatred in its worst form.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Dakkeh

Hello, guys.

I would like to introduce two concepts that seem oddly foreign to many of you. These are love and hatred. Love is compassion, gentleness, something all true men should strive for. Hatred is the exact opposite; any act of violence, namely inflicting physical pain in another being is either an accident or an act of hatred. Hatred can also be shown verbally...there is an abundance of verbal hatred in this topic and it is rather saddening.

With that said, now, I would be grateful to have to opportunity to introduce a few more ideas. Feel free to kindly disprove any or all of my ideas, seeing as they are probably very far fetched to some of you. I am simply offering a few thoughts.

-God is not an existing being, but an ancient creation, like a myth passed down, its motives changing within each person to whom it is passed.
-The bible was not created by a divine being, but the same generations of men from which god was created.
-Only concepts that have been proven and can still be proved today can legitimately be considered and rightfully promoted as fact.
-Such is why science is far more legitimate in explaining natural phenomenons.
-Evolution is an example of one of these proven phenomenons.
-The only way to live an ideal human life is to live with an open mind and acceptance of others.
-Sexual pleasure received in any form is beneficial to the mind and the body, excluding STDs. (this point is relevant to the topic post)
-Discrimination against any belief, gender or racial group is an act of hatred in its worst form.

Dear Godmocking fool;

First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

[Dakkeh]

Allllright. This is just blatant hostility that is COMPLETELY uncalled for. Please cool your jets or else your BP is going to skyrocket.

First, name calling. Fool? God-mocking fool? Demon-filled? Immature much? I took my sweet time reading the rules and I am not debating. If I was debating I would be showing that I wanted explanations of opposition to my ideas. Is it a crime to be open-minded? Am I really "flaming"?

Please don't call my opinions tantrums, ESPECIALLY when you're throwing a tantrum of your own. Gaze upon your own words...you're pretty steamed and I had no intentions of harming you to the point where you would lose control. My apologies if I somehow did.

I don't feel that a "proper greeting" is necessary(especially now); a simple 'hello' gets the job done. If it doesn't then I'm sorry.

Please be civil.

[Emil Sledge]

Dakkeh, if you read the rules, but still can't follow them by starting a thread in the introduction forum, why would we think you mean to follow any other rules here? Then you expect members to extend their hand in friendship? If you can't get these rules right how are you ever going to get the 1611 King James Bible into your skull?