Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > False Religions and Cults
Reload this Page Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell?
False Religions and Cults Catholics, Wiccans, Lutherans, Satanists, Mormons, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Higgins's Avatar
Higgins Higgins is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

Friend of Jesus Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound True Christian™ Tell her once Sons of Liberty Christian Love True Republican Ready for the Rapture Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 305
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Virginia
Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.Higgins has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell? - 07-30-2010, 09:54 PM

Greetings true believers,

So, recently I read the fiction book called "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman (it is a good read actually). Throughout the book, the basic idea is that the gods of old (Odin, Osaris, Loki, etc.) need some sort of sacrifice in order to have power and their continued existence (be it money, blood, or time). Since the old god characters are trying to continue their existence this puts them up against the 'modern' gods (e.g. Internet, Caffine, Men in Black, etc.). Unfortunetly Jesus was featured in the book (in the afterword Gaiman noted that Jesus was probably too busy with other godly stuff). In the book, the Internet God says that he exists because people spend so much time on their computers. While I suggest we add this book to a banned book list, it did get me thinking.

With all the time I (and also you) spend on the computer. Is my Macbook Pro damning me to Hell?
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Capt. Aaron Portway's Avatar
Capt. Aaron Portway Capt. Aaron Portway is offline
One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers
Salvation from Above
God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts True Christian™ Ribfest '08 Bronze Tither Saved 1 Year Real American™ Christian Love Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Mission to Australia Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Mission to Japan Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas God's favorite pilot True Republican Special Mission (North Korea) True Christian Provider™ award Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Divorcee Prayer Warrior Anti-sodomy Iceland Mission to Messico Gunfest '07 The Hatchet Child Rearing Award The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Long service medal, 3rd class F1 for God

 
Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Capt. Aaron Portway will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell? - 07-30-2010, 09:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Higgins View Post
Is my Macbook Pro damning me to Hell?
I edited out all the unimportant stuff in the post. The simple answer is yes, Hell is where you're headed if you use any Apple computer.

Also, we generally like people to introduce themselves in our Introduction Forum before they start with topics that are well covered in other threads.




Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!



God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!



Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell? - 07-31-2010, 11:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Higgins View Post
Greetings true believers,

So, recently I read the fiction book called "American Gods" by Neil Gaiman (it is a good read actually). Throughout the book, the basic idea is that the gods of old (Odin, Osaris, Loki, etc.) need some sort of sacrifice in order to have power and their continued existence (be it money, blood, or time). Since the old god characters are trying to continue their existence this puts them up against the 'modern' gods (e.g. Internet, Caffine, Men in Black, etc.). Unfortunetly Jesus was featured in the book (in the afterword Gaiman noted that Jesus was probably too busy with other godly stuff). In the book, the Internet God says that he exists because people spend so much time on their computers. While I suggest we add this book to a banned book list, it did get me thinking.

With all the time I (and also you) spend on the computer. Is my Macbook Pro damning me to Hell?
If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Billy Bob Jenkins's Avatar
Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
About as Straight and Manly as you can get
Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™

True Christian™ Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Christian Love Ready for the Rapture Ex-Masturbator Parking Lot Tither True Christian Provider™ award Punched the most queers Real American™ The Lord’s Witness Wound Heaven Bound Home Schooled True Christian Hotrodder Teabag Patriot The Hatchet Child Rearing Award One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Ex-treehugger Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Mission to Korea Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Billy Bob Jenkins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell? - 07-31-2010, 11:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Higgins View Post
Is my Macbook Pro damning me to Hell?
Will going to gay bars on barbituates damn you to Hell? Yes.

Will having anal sex with other men damn you to Hell? Yes.

Will inviting rodents into your anus damn you to Hell? Yes.

Will using Apple products damn you to Hell? Of course!

Any form of homosexuality will damn you straight to Hell. Is that clear?


The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
SticksAndStones's Avatar
SticksAndStones SticksAndStones is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 67
Join Date: May 2010
SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.SticksAndStones is a sorcerer and idolater who follows false gods and will rot in Hell.
Default Re: Is Using a Mac Damning me to Hell? - 08-01-2010, 08:38 PM

Thank God I don't have an Apple then! I am a good ol' Windows user who is going to move to Landover's JesOS distribution of Linux soon.
Macs are pretty gay for the amount of money you spend on them!
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Tags
apple:cult of nerds, cult members face damnation, nerd stuff is nerdy

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved