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Default Baptized At Home in the Bathtub? NO! - 04-18-2022, 01:28 PM

An idea is going around the internet that a person can be baptized at home in the bathtub while the preachers talks to them on a smart phone. I hate to be crude, but that is bat$hit crazy.

We are Baptists. That means we get baptized. Taking a bath in your clothes is not getting baptized.

If you have a child or a friend that needs to be baptized, arrange with your preacher to be baptized properly. John the Baptist baptized Jesus. (Matt 3:13-17) It was done in the River Jordon, not in a bathtub.

Virtual bathtub baptisms help Maryland megachurch gain online members during pandemic (religionnews.com)


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Baptized At Home in the Bathtub? NO! - 04-22-2022, 08:51 PM

So many people these days want an easy, created for comfort Christianity. Well, it simply doesn't work that way.

Imagine for a moment that you're Jesus. On Judgment Day, one of these Bathtub Baptists comes before you. You suffered unimaginable tortures and gave your blood for the remission of this Bozo's sins, and he couldn't even be bothered to head down to the nearest body of water to express his faith in you?

Yes, as Jesus, you're all about love and forgiveness. But this is just too much. He doesn't worship you, he worships comfort. So you're sending him to an eternity of torment in the lake of fire. Maybe he can talk Satan into throwing him into a bathtub of fire instead.

God will not be mocked!


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Default Re: Baptized At Home in the Bathtub? NO! - 04-22-2022, 09:37 PM

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Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
So many people these days want an easy, created for comfort Christianity. Well, it simply doesn't work that way.
Imagine for a moment that you're Jesus. On Judgment Day, one of these Bathtub Baptists comes before you. You suffered unimaginable tortures and gave your blood for the remission of this Bozo's sins, and he couldn't even be bothered to head down to the nearest body of water to express his faith in you?
Yes, as Jesus, you're all about love and forgiveness. But this is just too much. He doesn't worship you, he worships comfort. So you're sending him to an eternity of torment in the lake of fire. Maybe he can talk Satan into throwing him into a bathtub of fire instead.
God will not be mocked!
Such a wonderful observation about Jesus' suffering, Brother Dnow. We True Christians™ need to keep a steady eye on the baptism ritual. We can't let it be hijacked by the two drops Christians like Catholics and Presbyterians.

A trend I'm worried about, too, is the young women who have an eye on one of our pastors or young deacons. When a woman shows up for baptism wearing a T Shirt and no bra I'm suspicious of her motives.


Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Default Re: Baptized At Home in the Bathtub? NO! - 04-22-2022, 09:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WWJDnow View Post
So many people these days want an easy, created for comfort Christianity. Well, it simply doesn't work that way.[...]

Yes, as Jesus, you're all about love and forgiveness. But this is just too much. He doesn't worship you, he worships comfort [bold by me]. So you're sending him to an eternity of torment in the lake of fire.
I see a practical solution here. If comfort is the sin, why not baptize that person in the lake of molten sulfur? That certainly would not be comfortable and then the former sinner can happily stink up Heaven with his sulfur fumes, making sure the True Christians™ don´t fall for the same sin of comfort.


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
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Default Re: Baptized At Home in the Bathtub? NO! - 04-22-2022, 09:42 PM

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Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
Such a wonderful observation about Jesus' suffering, Brother Dnow. We True Christians™ need to keep a steady eye on the baptism ritual. We can't let it be hijacked by the two drops Christians like Catholics and Presbyterians.
What do you call a ceremony where a Catholic priest anoints a baby with holy water? Grooming.

Quote:
A trend I'm worried about, too, is the young women who have an eye on one of our pastors or young deacons. When a woman shows up for baptism wearing a T Shirt and no bra I'm suspicious of her motives.
Indeed, there are many Jezebels hidden among the flock. Thank God that Pastor Zeke is so holy that he is immune to the worldly charms of these wanton women!


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