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Default Immigration test - 09-15-2020, 12:53 AM

When Trump wins the election later this year and signs an Executive Order declaring himself the greatest citizen of all time and President for Life, there needs to be some changes. One of his first acts should be to upgrade the immigration test to be sure we are getting the best foreigners coming here. We could start with the American Language test and set the pass mark to 100% otherwise you start your application over - we must stress the importance of not sounding like a foreign terrorist when integrating yourself into our monolingual culture and getting used to a diet of white bread and sprinkles.

So here's the first question - match the adjective to the noun:

Sleepy
Slimeball
Phoney
Crooked
Low energy
Nervous
Little
Lyin'
Shifty
Horseface
Kung

And here are the nouns:

Marco
Joe
Jeb
Stormy
Nancy
Schiff
Ted
Tony
Flu
Hilary
Comey

I hope you got them all right. Maybe it was too easy. Bonus point if you name the connection between all these people.


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-17-2020, 05:49 AM

After they pass the test they get to hear the Welcome To America speech:


Hallo. You Have Proven Yourself Worthy To Be An Honorary White Man. Welcome In.


And then someone teaches them the handshakes.


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-19-2020, 08:44 PM

Umm pardon my intrusion kind smart wonderful White Christian man Toole, but I couldn’t help but notice that the adjective “ungrateful” and the noun “Whitmer” weren’t on the list. Given the circumstances of what happened a few weeks ago, I feel it appropriate to have them added.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-21-2020, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Rutherford View Post
Umm pardon my intrusion kind smart wonderful White Christian man Toole, but I couldn’t help but notice that the adjective “ungrateful” and the noun “Whitmer” weren’t on the list. Given the circumstances of what happened a few weeks ago, I feel it appropriate to have them added.
Luckily this is not the final test or you would have FAILED. But thank you for bringing up the omission. As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.


Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-21-2020, 06:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.
Thank you for that, Brother Dr. Toole, Sir. Her unofficial title in this house has been Retching Whiner, but in future we will use the approved version.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-22-2020, 02:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Anthony J. Toole View Post
Luckily this is not the final test or you would have FAILED. But thank you for bringing up the omission. As everyone knows the official title used by the distinguished Federal government of the United States of America to refer to Gretchen Whitmer is: That woman from Michigan / Gretchen Half-Whitmer.
With a name like Gretchen she can't have Americas interests at heart. She probably stomps around her office in pre-war jackboots while fantasizing about der Fuhrer.


Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-23-2020, 03:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
With a name like Gretchen she can't have Americas interests at heart. She probably stomps around her office in pre-war jackboots while fantasizing about der Fuhrer.
Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.
In German of course. Stomping around her balcony talking in a fake German accent "We must Destoy ze Kondstitution! Arbiet macht kapput. Gehen sie zu Hause. Zeig heil! "





Ephesians 5:18 And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-23-2020, 09:24 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Imagine that. Jackboots! Where would you even find pre-war jackboots. Even Epic Militaria doesn't have pre-war jackboots. eBay, maybe? I think I'll try eBay. Just for research purposes, mind you.
The problem with second-hand jackboots is that you don't know whose feet have been in them. If you want a bespoke jackboot, I'd recommend the Duke of Edinburgh's bootmaker, John Lobb Ltd. I understand they also made ex-prince Harry's jackboots, back in his Nazi days.


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-28-2020, 06:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post
I understand they also made ex-prince Harry's jackboots, back in his Nazi days.
Some people just don't understand the concept of costume parties. Dirty Harry can't be a Nazi because no self respecting Nazi would marry a mulatto and raise their quadroon whelp as a tranny.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-28-2020, 07:44 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Des View Post
Some people just don't understand the concept of costume parties. Dirty Harry can't be a Nazi because no self respecting Nazi would marry a mulatto and raise their quadroon whelp as a tranny.
Good point, Brother Des. He presumably can't be one any more, if he ever really was. He was probably just a temporary trans-Nazi. Whatever he is, was, or may become, he is of absolutely no significance and will definitely fail the immigration test, if only because he can't speak Real American™.

By the way, is it true that their unfortunate child (whose name nobody can remember) is being raised as what the terminally "woke" refer to as a theybie?


Revelation 21:8

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
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Default Re: Immigration test - 10-29-2020, 03:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joanna Lytton-Vasey View Post

By the way, is it true that their unfortunate child (whose name nobody can remember) is being raised as what the terminally "woke" refer to as a theybie?
The palace denies it being true. Now why would the queen go to the trouble of denying it unless it were true? Makes no sense to draw attention to it unless there were some meat on the bone, so to speak.


Psalm 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
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flag Re: Immigration test - 10-29-2020, 02:39 PM

I propose a simpler and near fool proof 'Immigration Test'.
  1. Were you born in the ? An original birth certificate (Hawaii not valid) along with affadvits from the midwife and Pastor that oversaw you being expressed from the womb of your Christian mother and a note (handwritten is fine) from your father confirming you are from his Pure Seed©.
  2. Are you Christian? You''ll need five notarized certificates of Testamentary, available from the LBC Church office (ask Miss Cookie for them) for verification


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
 

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