Quote:
Originally Posted by BrotherLarry
Finals are only 2 weeks away!
Because I know ALL of you sit and think every day, "How is BrotherLarry's Ph.D. program progressing?" I thought I would provide an update.
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BrotherLarry, in your characteristic modesty, you underestimate your importance in the inner workings of our hearts, minds and souls.
Speaking for myself, "sitting and thinking" does not begin to describe the critical significance that I place upon the progress of your Ph.D. program.
Sometimes I get severe headaches because of how hard I think about your studies. There is a dent in my forehead from my attempt to read up on the study of gnathology* of the equine kind. (I dozed off and hit my head on the desk.)
My prayers for you are often and earnest. I reflect upon your aspirations whenever I brush my own dentition or pull my hair into a ponytail.
Sleep alludes me as thoughts of your educational efforts crowd out concerns over global warming, (Why do people persist in worrying about it?), the precise intent of the Second Amendment, (Does the "right to bear arms" mean that we are only allowed to have as many guns as we can carry?), the sex lives of teenagers across this great land of ours, (What if cell phone companies could be regulated to monitor text messages and report salacious content to designated watchdog agencies?) the upcoming rapture (Will Jesus pick a time for His return when no Christians anywhere are on the toilet?) and the strange, misshapen growth poking through my left armpit, (I know, more prayer, less googling medical diagnosis sites.
What can I say? The Lord continues to do His work with me.)
Forgive me for going on like this, BrotherLarry. I realize that I could be using this time to pray for you during this busy period before finals. Do keep focused on your coursework and studies and giving Glory to Jesus by acquiring prestigious letters after your name. Soon, we'll be calling you Doctor BrotherLarry. On the day when that lofty title is settled upon you, I will finally be able to rest--knowing that I did everything possible to assist you in your noble ambitions as long as it didn't require me to spend any money or actually leave my house.
In Christ's Blood
,
Handmaiden
* Which I used to call the Study of Horse Teeth; silly, simple me.