[BelieverInGod]

SISTERS! I COULDN'T BELIEVE MY EYES

Okay, after being stared at by Sister MM like I was speaking some foreign tongue when I gave her a tray of Nanaimo bars on Sunday, I decided to drop by the Des Moines library to pick up some real American cook books.

I am so sorry. I didn't know what I was getting myself into. All I wanted was good American Cookbooks so that I wouldn't show my Canadian shame.

Did you know there are witch and lesbian cookbooks? Why do lesbians and witches need cookbooks, don't their gay friends do all the cooking for them?

I came across the following titles, and it completely shocked me.



Those are just a few of the awful titles I saw. I am so glad that I didn't go through the steps of getting a Library card. I took as many of the books as I could up to the counter and THREW them at the lesbian there. I then started rebuking her and telling her that as hard as it must be for an old spinster like her LESBIANISM IS NOT THE ANSWER! I then pulled out my lighter and tried to burn the books, but a very large security guard grabbed me at that point and threw me out.

I was so shook up that I almost caused 3 accidents on the way home. Do the Lesbians have to get their filthy little fingers into ever part of society? I thought cooking and cleaning was below them, isn't that why they all smell like filthy hippies?

Seth properly rebuked me when I got home, and I deserved it. I thought I would surprise him with a completely authentic American meal, but failed completely. I should know better than to do such silly things without asking him first.