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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Exclamation New rule: post a fact, any fact - 12-21-2018, 01:46 AM

I'm sick of unsaved trash nondebunking the Bible with unsupported opinions, empty slogans, and one the same 3 out-of context Sunday-School scripture quotes. From now on, I demand that every newbie post a fact - any fact - just to get in the habit. Or just to see if they are actually capable of it.

It can be "the tallest mountain is Mount Everest" or "the largest river is the Amazon". Any fact at all, heck, it doesn't even need to be correct. I just want to see if you can type a fact without your fingers falling off, that's all.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 12-21-2018, 01:59 AM

The King James 1611 Bible is the inerrant word of God.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 12-27-2018, 12:10 PM

Amen!


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Bible Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 12-30-2018, 02:38 AM

Fact: the Sun can stop in its tracks until a God-approved battle is over.

Joshua 10:12-14
12 Then spake Joshua to the Lord in the day when the Lord delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.
13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.
14 And there was no day like that before it or after it, that the Lord hearkened unto the voice of a man: for the Lord fought for Israel.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 01-10-2019, 04:36 AM

No unsaved trash has dared take my challenge. And I know you guys are reading this.

You, the typical unsaved trash, separates truth from falsehood by superficially glancing at a some clickbait headline, saying "well, it looks true" and then being loud and opinionated based on that.

So if a total non-expert on aircraft, physics, and in-flight snacks just scribbled together a blueprint for an airplane, and said "well, it looks like it will fly", would you volunteer to be on the maiden flight?

No, of course you wouldn't. When your skin is on the line, when your butt is likely to be the one falling from the sky in a rain of flaming jet fuel and small packets of mediocre pretzels, suddenly "it looks right" isn't good enough.

Things are complicated. Things are not only more complicated than you imagine, they are more complicated than most people CAN imagine. You need people who sweated bullets to learn the facts. You need obsessive nerds who spend sleepless blue-balled nights studying everything that can go wrong. You need people who say "it looks good enough, but WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?"
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 01-31-2019, 07:46 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
No unsaved trash has dared take my challenge. And I know you guys are reading this.

You, the typical unsaved trash, separates truth from falsehood by superficially glancing at a some clickbait headline, saying "well, it looks true" and then being loud and opinionated based on that.

So if a total non-expert on aircraft, physics, and in-flight snacks just scribbled together a blueprint for an airplane, and said "well, it looks like it will fly", would you volunteer to be on the maiden flight?

No, of course you wouldn't. When your skin is on the line, when your butt is likely to be the one falling from the sky in a rain of flaming jet fuel and small packets of mediocre pretzels, suddenly "it looks right" isn't good enough.

Things are complicated. Things are not only more complicated than you imagine, they are more complicated than most people CAN imagine. You need people who sweated bullets to learn the facts. You need obsessive nerds who spend sleepless blue-balled nights studying everything that can go wrong. You need people who say "it looks good enough, but WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?"
Here is a fact: The earth is a flat square


Revelation 7:1


And after these things I saw four angels standing on the four corners of the earth, holding the four winds of the earth, that the wind should not blow on the earth, nor on the sea, nor on any tree.



Last edited by Basilissa; 01-31-2019 at 09:00 PM. Reason: original picture was way too large
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 01:12 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Turdmond View Post
I'm sick of unsaved trash nondebunking the Bible with unsupported opinions, empty slogans, and one the same 3 out-of context Sunday-School scripture quotes. From now on, I demand that every newbie post a fact - any fact - just to get in the habit. Or just to see if they are actually capable of it.

It can be "the tallest mountain is Mount Everest" or "the largest river is the Amazon". Any fact at all, heck, it doesn't even need to be correct. I just want to see if you can type a fact without your fingers falling off, that's all.
Fact: the KJV was written by King James who was not a prophet so it cannot be the unadulterated word of God

Fact: Jesus alaihi salam never said “I am a god or worship me”. Its always Paul and Paul saying those things

Fact: you cannot prove me wrong on this

Fact: you are too scared to debate me so editing my posts and sending me infractions and hiding behind made up rules is all you can do to protect your weak faith in Paul. If your faith were strong, you wouldn’t be so scared of debating anyone
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 01:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
Fact: the KJV was written by King James
Please show me a single book of the Bible which was authored by king James.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
who was not a prophet so it cannot be the unadulterated word of God
Ever heard of a translation? It's a fascinating concept; if you spoke more than one language, you might be able to comprehend it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
Fact: Jesus alaihi salam never said “I am a god or worship me”. Its always Paul and Paul saying those things

Fact: you cannot prove me wrong on this
Yes we can.

Timothy 3:16-17
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
Fact: you are too scared to debate me so editing my posts and sending me infractions and hiding behind made up rules is all you can do to protect your weak faith in Paul. If your faith were strong, you wouldn’t be so scared of debating anyone
Start reading and citing the Bible, we certainly can help you guide you to God.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 01:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Please show me a single book of the Bible which was authored by king James.

Ever heard of a translation? It's a fascinating concept; if you spoke more than one language, you might be able to comprehend it.Yes we can.

Timothy 3:16-17
16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
17 That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Start reading and citing the Bible, we certainly can help you guide you to God.
I speak Arabic, Russian and English so i know what a translation is. You guys only speak English (except the ones obsessed with navajo).

A translation is not the word of God. It is just a translation. A translation made by a King 1600 years after Jesus alaihi salam. Why do you accept this?

Dont get me wrong, im not putting the KJV down. I recognized as the translation closest to the original, and vastly superior to NIV and other translations that came after it. It is the most widely read Bible in the word for a reason. But it still a translation and not the original text.

No Muslim on Earth would accept a Quran as the word of God if it is on any language other than Classical Arabic, the language it was revealed. Even a translation to Modern Standard Arabic would be unacceptable as a the word of God and it would be treated just as commentary/interpretation.

I have read and studied the Bible. And what i find is that everything related to more than one God, that Jesus is a god, that a holy ghost is a god, is always written by Paul or Timothy or non relevant people.

When the Bible cites Jesus directly, we find that he is not God. He is the Messiah and the Christ, and one of the mightest Prophets of God, but he never claims divinity nor he tells anyone to worship him.

Jesus alaihi salam cant do anything by himself. All the power for his miracles comes from God.
John 5:30
“I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.”

Jesus doesnt even know when judgement day will be! Not Jesus not the angels not everybody except the One true God. Only God knows when the hour will be

Matthew 24:36
“But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.”
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 02:16 PM

The Breath of God moves the dendrites of our minds as the wind moves the branches of the trees.

This probably comes out better in one of the original languages of The Bible. How would it read in Arabic? I've thought of learning classical Arabic. Is it very different from what's spoken in Arabia? When visiting I've only ever needed English but I've only been to 3 or 4 countries there. I found the roads quite good and the drivers polite.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 02:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Stuart Thurmond View Post
No unsaved trash has dared take my challenge. And I know you guys are reading this.

You, the typical unsaved trash, separates truth from falsehood by superficially glancing at a some clickbait headline, saying "well, it looks true" and then being loud and opinionated based on that.

So if a total non-expert on aircraft, physics, and in-flight snacks just scribbled together a blueprint for an airplane, and said "well, it looks like it will fly", would you volunteer to be on the maiden flight?

No, of course you wouldn't. When your skin is on the line, when your butt is likely to be the one falling from the sky in a rain of flaming jet fuel and small packets of mediocre pretzels, suddenly "it looks right" isn't good enough.

Things are complicated. Things are not only more complicated than you imagine, they are more complicated than most people CAN imagine. You need people who sweated bullets to learn the facts. You need obsessive nerds who spend sleepless blue-balled nights studying everything that can go wrong. You need people who say "it looks good enough, but WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY?"
As they say at Boeing, no nerds, no birds.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 03:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
I speak Arabic, Russian and English so i know what a translation is. You guys only speak English (except the ones obsessed with navajo).
Gavaritie pa russkiy, tavarishch? Excellent! I do need to brush up on my Cyrillic, I haven't used it for a while, so I read Russian painfully slowly (but I understand Russian OK when listening to spoken language). And actually, you speak less languages than I do. (Nonetheless, we both pale in comparison with Dr. Elmer White, who is fluent in something 15 or 20 or more languages - I lost count long time ago).

Quote:
A translation is not the word of God. It is just a translation. A translation made by a King 1600 years after Jesus alaihi salam. Why do you accept this?
Because the Bible has been written in languages which now are dead, and not every Christian is a polyglot. Would you rather deprive Christians from reading the Holy Book which is the basis of our religion? Also, your critique is rather hypocritical, as your book also has been translated into other languages very long after it was written. When I read Koran, it was actually a 20th century Polish translation, so ca. 1400 hundred years after the book was written. Does that mean I read complete garbage? (I mean, most Christians would agree that it definitely was pure garbage, but I'm asking for your opinion here).

Quote:
Dont get me wrong, im not putting the KJV down. I recognized as the translation closest to the original, and vastly superior to NIV and other translations that came after it. It is the most widely read Bible in the word for a reason. But it still a translation and not the original text.
Sure, and I do enjoy looking at the original versions, parsing words and tracing meanings. Then again - not everybody is a linguist.

Quote:
No Muslim on Earth would accept a Quran as the word of God if it is on any language other than Classical Arabic, the language it was revealed. Even a translation to Modern Standard Arabic would be unacceptable as a the word of God and it would be treated just as commentary/interpretation.
OK, let me get this straight. Languages change, on average, 11% in a century. That means the more time passes, the less legible the original text is. Are you sure you guys are OK with the entire population reading something you can no longer understand? Or do you understand that reading the original text is a luxury limited to specialized linguists, while the rest of the population has no choice but to read a translation?

Also please note that you do not speak for every Muslim on earth. The translation of the Koran I read was a printed book, published by the Polish Muslim Society. Here is their website, with Polish translation of the Koran, plus the original text and commentaries.

Quote:
I have read and studied the Bible. And what i find is that everything related to more than one God, that Jesus is a god, that a holy ghost is a god, is always written by Paul or Timothy or non relevant people.
Here's the thing: with the Bible, is either all or nothing. Either it is the Word of God from beginning to end; or it is an unreliable collection of fables written by schizophrenics, parts of which may or may not be based on some actual events. The moment you begin to say, "oh, I only believe parts of it, and the rest is wrong," you open the path to questioning all of the Bible. If the Bible is not the Word of God, then how can you assess which parts of it are true and which parts are fables? That is a very slippery slope, dear.

Quote:
Jesus alaihi salam cant do anything by himself. All the power for his miracles comes from God.
John 5:30
“I can of mine own self do nothing: as I hear, I judge: and my judgment is just; because I seek not mine own will, but the will of the Father which hath sent me.”
Indeed. God acts through Jesus and the Holy Ghost. Think of it like a hand with fingers. To make the metaphor more obvious, you'll have to chop off two fingers, so that you're left with just three. Three fingers, one hand.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 04:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor View Post
The Breath of God moves the dendrites of our minds as the wind moves the branches of the trees.

This probably comes out better in one of the original languages of The Bible. How would it read in Arabic? I've thought of learning classical Arabic. Is it very different from what's spoken in Arabia? When visiting I've only ever needed English but I've only been to 3 or 4 countries there. I found the roads quite good and the drivers polite.
Do you think that Jesus, the creator of all things could not make sure the Bible is in the correct language for the audience to understand?

The KJV1611 was obviously written for white people to understand and written normally. In the Bible times when everyone spoke Jewish the Bible was written in a language couched in financial terms where property and ownership and strictly following rules were most important.

English being the language of white people is has fewer formal rules and you can see that the KJV1611 only has one rule: do exactly what Jesus demands every time, forever without fail.

Despite all of the chances Jesus gave the Jews they couldn’t help themselves but kill Him for money so there was no reason to keep writing the BibleKJV in Jewish.

Turns out white people (or at least all non/Jews) are more trustworthy so the most up to date Bible in the language of a trust worthy people is by definition the most accurate: and if you don’t believe me Incan cite the highest authority!

That’s right: the BIBLE(KJV1611) 🙌🏻

Do you see now?

YIC


1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.

Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.

Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
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Grammar Nazi Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 04:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
Fact: the KJV was written by King James who was not a prophet so it cannot be the unadulterated word of God

Fact: Jesus alaihi salam never said “I am a god or worship me”. Its always Paul and Paul saying those things

Fact: you cannot prove me wrong on this

Fact: you are too scared to debate me so editing my posts and sending me infractions and hiding behind made up rules is all you can do to protect your weak faith in Paul. If your faith were strong, you wouldn’t be so scared of debating anyone
First of all, this is NOT a debate forum. We're right and you're wrong, according to Jesus and the Holy Word of God. Please read THIS thread before making an even bigger fool of yourself.

Secondly, while the internets might seem to be "free" to you, this particular corner of the internets is a privately owned Christian forum. The rights you have on this forum are listed HERE. Please contact a Pastor immediately if you feel that any of your rights have been violated.

Finally, your unsaved opinions or tantrums are not even slightly of interest to us. We follow the Holy Word of God TO THE LETTER, and make no apologies for that. One of the most important commandments in the Bible tells us to avoid unsaved scum such as yourself. You wandered in here uninvited, and unwelcome .

If you want to debate people, THIS is the place to go.

Please make a thread of your own in the "Introductions" section of the forum, so that we can properly greet you. Tell us about yourself, your church, and how you came to find Jesus.

And if you're here to flame us, better take a look at THIS before making an even bigger ass out of yourself.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit enter you and chase the demons out of your rectum and let Jesus fill you with His Grace. If you use your God-given free will to reject Christ and His temporary death on the cross for my sins, then you are sending yourself to hellfire.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-09-2019, 10:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
About your private message
If you took your time to learn about the other Abrahamic teligions, like most pastors actually do, youd see we all believe in Moses, and Noah and the flood, creation, etc so your claims that i dont believe in the flood are false. These are common beliefs between the 3 religions. All pastors know this

Even scientists believe in the flood as it is a proven historical fact
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-10-2019, 12:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
If you took your time to learn about the other Abrahamic teligions, like most pastors actually do, youd see we all believe in Moses, and Noah and the flood, creation, etc so your claims that i dont believe in the flood are false. These are common beliefs between the 3 religions. All pastors know this

Even scientists believe in the flood as it is a proven historical fact
Sweetie, instead of being mean towards our Pastor, why don't you engage in a civilized discussion - you could start by addressing my post above.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-11-2019, 12:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Basilissa View Post
Sweetie, instead of being mean towards our Pastor, why don't you engage in a civilized discussion - you could start by addressing my post above.
He is a rather strange pastor. He posts the same thing over and over regardless of whos he talking to... are you sure he is not a robot?

Regarding your post above there is not much to address. Scripture should be analized in its original language regardless if its dead or alive.

The Quran is in Classical Arabic. A language that nobody speaks anymore. Still Muslims learn to recite the Quran in Classical Arabic since they are little, while also using a translation for meaning, they havent lost touch with the original language of revelation.

This is something rather sad for Christians that most of them lost touch with the original language. Even the jus read the Torah in Ancient Hebrew, which is vastly different from modern Hebrew.
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-11-2019, 12:51 PM

Also im sorry by i cant imagine God as a hand with fingers or as a creature with parts. Creatures have parts, God has no parts.

The Quran says clearly “And there is nothing comparable to Him”. So anything you can compare God with, it cannot be God. If you can imagine it with your human brain, then it cannot be God.

Why would God need sons or ghosts if he is all powerful? God cannot have parts, it doesnt make sense, you cannot divide God
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Grammar Nazi Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-11-2019, 12:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MustBeOnDrugs View Post
He is a rather strange pastor. He posts the same thing over and over regardless of whos he talking to... are you sure he is not a robot?

Regarding your post above there is not much to address. Scripture should be analized in its original language regardless if its dead or alive.

The Quran is in Classical Arabic. A language that nobody speaks anymore. Still Muslims learn to recite the Quran in Classical Arabic since they are little, while also using a translation for meaning, they havent lost touch with the original language of revelation.

This is something rather sad for Christians that most of them lost touch with the original language. Even the jus read the Torah in Ancient Hebrew, which is vastly different from modern Hebrew.
I can assure you as can all decent Christians, I am no robot. I am a virle man chosen by God Himself to spread his Loving Words. Even to despicable scum of the Earth like you. You see camel jockey, Christians do not discriminate. We treat everyone the same, no matter how depraved people like you are.

Consider this:
You're riding your baby bomber vest, all proud because your dad took off the safety. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.

You're dead
Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: New rule: post a fact, any fact - 03-11-2019, 01:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
I can assure you as can all decent Christians, I am no robot. I am a virle man chosen by God Himself to spread his Loving Words. Even to despicable scum of the Earth like you. You see camel jockey, Christians do not discriminate. We treat everyone the same, no matter how depraved people like you are.

Consider this:
You're riding your baby bomber vest, all proud because your dad took off the safety. A Good Humor truck comes and runs over your gut, causing your body to burst and spray entrails all over the street.

You're dead
Whether due to your own disgusting sinning or the Lords divine will, you are dead. Instantly your soul begins falling towards the black abyss above Hell. The falling seems eternal as you gather speed and the heat begins to grow. Then you notice a red dot below you growing larger by the second, this is the Lake in the center of Hell. It is the brightest point in Hell therefore it is visible for a great distance. Keep in mind that the farther you fall, the further from Christ you are.
As you gain speed and the flames become apparent you may wonder how you can stop this from happening. The answer is simple. It's too late and you can't, you're doomed. Your soul is damned and it WILL happen. The temperature is now approaching the unbearable limit as your flesh begins to smoulder and ignite and you continue to build speed as you plummet toward the now visible boiling Lake of Fire. You can almost make out individual souls thrashing in the magma with your flaming eyesockets. Soon you will join them, your terror mounts as your screams become gargled with the stench of Hells evil smell. The heat becomes excruciating as you notice your skin peeling away and your bones becoming visible and black. Flaming and screaming in anguish, you splashdown into the acidic brimstone of Satans Lake at around 250 MPH. You are instantly vaporized and reformed as a tormented soul writhing in absolute terror in the deafening depths of the Lake that Burns Eternal. The pain is beyond comprehension as you gnash your teeth so hard they shatter in your mouth. Satan periodically plucks you from the flames to savagely rape repeatedly and casually tosses you to his infernal minions to rip apart and rape at will, only to be reformed and have this scenario repeated...over and over and over, forever.
Is it still funny mocking our mission to Save© your soul? We want you to enjoy Heaven and eternal praise and worship at the feet of our Saviour the Lord Jesus Christ.

Unless you are Saved™ by Jesus Christ and His Holy website and favorite church, Landover Baptist, there is no other way to avoid this.
Wait, what? Christians believe you go to heaven or hell right after death??? Without day of Judgement first? Doesnt your soul stay on Earth after you die until the day of judgement?

Alhamdulillah for being Muslim. Even if I end up in hell its not straight away. I get to float around the world for some time until Israfil blows the trumpet.

Also if my father straps bombs on me (why would cranky old man do that?) and i die, then it isnt my fault so i become a Martyr and its my father the one who goes to hell
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