The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Mar 2018
Location: Jesus' Left Testicle, TX
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
03-24-2018, 08:28 PM
Thank you so much! If only all of humanity had the same thinking, those poor souls. I'm making my filthy Sodomite son memorize this, in the hopes that the pure righteousness of this text scares the foul spirits of Satan from his body! I will be sure to pray for all those lost souls that they might one day (if, of course, it is the will of God) find salvation.
Praise the LORD!
Psalm 27:1
The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
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Another brick in Donald´s wall - A.K.A "The Gonz" True Christian™
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Posts: 1,838
Join Date: Sep 2016
Location: Ungodly South America
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
03-26-2018, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Arnie Flenderson
Thank you so much! If only all of humanity had the same thinking, those poor souls. I'm making my filthy Sodomite son memorize this, in the hopes that the pure righteousness of this text scares the foul spirits of Satan from his body! I will be sure to pray for all those lost souls that they might one day (if, of course, it is the will of God) find salvation.
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Mr Flenderson, I must ask, how did your son ended up being a homer?I am seeing a father with not enough discipline. A father without a rod.
Is that the case, Mr Flenderson?
1 Thessalonians 4:16 For the Lord himself shall descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel, and with the TRUMP of God: and the dead in Christ shall rise first.
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Unsaved trash aka The Flood of Disinformation
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Posts: 128
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Christchurch, Canterbury, New Zealand
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
04-05-2018, 06:39 PM
It can't be any clearer. Only Christ can save!
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 22,539
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
04-05-2018, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Diesel Stanford
It can't be any clearer. Only Christ can save!
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Indeed only Christ can Save!
Glory!
However, please understand we can peruse Youtube videos whenever we wish, and this isn't a dropbox for videos. What we're interested in is your personal walk with Jesus! In your own words. You can introduce yourself in our very conveniently labeled Introduction Forum!
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 3
Join Date: Jun 2018
Location: Prison
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 05:50 AM
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell. 
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc_Niccals
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell.  
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Hell Friend,
Welcome to the friendliest of friendly forums. It would be nice if you could introduce yourself and tell us all about your own, personal, Walk With Jesus.
Luke 1:6 - And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
YIC
TT
Isaiah 66:15
For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 70
Join Date: Apr 2018
Location: Alabama
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
06-09-2018, 06:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Murdoc_Niccals
Thanks For the info and I'll try to be more Satanic. And I'll see everyone in Hell.  
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How edgy of you, Murdoc! Welcome to the forums. Have you made an introduction post yet?
1 Timothy 2:12
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Unsaved trash, loathsome teenage godmocker, probably queer
Under Investigation
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Posts: 16
Join Date: Jul 2018
Location: Hell
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-24-2018, 02:35 PM
Thank you for telling me about the word of God
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 22,539
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-24-2018, 02:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Salmon_GOD
Thank you for telling me about the word of God
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You're welcome, dear! Are you ready to be born again and follow Christ and join us praising His Holy Name forever and ever and ever?!?
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,257
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
07-25-2018, 06:51 AM
There are creeds claiming that baptism causes Salvation and that by sprinkling babies who have no idea what's going on they can sucker in another schmuck. Conversion however results from a belief. Baptism follows on from that belief and clearly does not cause the belief because catholic or Anglican baptism (of babies) very rarely results in Christian adults.
Acts 8: 5-6a, 26-29, 35-40
Then Philip went down to the city of Samaria, and preached Christ unto them. And the people with one accord gave heed unto those things which Philip spakeThe locations mentioned are shown on the map.
I've marked a line from Jerusalem to Gaza for reference. And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, was returning and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet. Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot.The eunuch was puzzled by what he read.
Was it a prophecy that God was about to reproduce?
Philip explained this more fully. Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. And as they went on their way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, here is water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing. But Philip was found at Azotus: and passing through he preached in all the cities, till he came to Caesarea.
There are also people who claim that God does not produce children, or is incapable of doing so, or that the whole concept has nothing to do with any Israelite prophecy. These are false claims, not supported by Scripture. Obviously some heretic could write a different Gospel in which God did not have children and therefore did not have a son and therefore Jesus was not related to God. In such cases the heresy could be cooked up over a thousand years or so, complete with rewritten Scriptures, then after another thousand years the bogus material could be held up as bogus evidence for the bogus claims. But if that were the case, Philip would not be teaching The Truth and would not be endorsed by The Holy Spirit for his witness that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. He would not have been sent to the eunuch with a false teaching and would not have been transported by The Holy Spirit to Azotus to continue his ministry.
But he was. The eunuch was saved. In this way we know that accepting Jesus as God's Son is the path to Salvation and that heretics are promoting garbage.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 32
Join Date: Aug 2018
Location: Remote Pensilvania
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
08-15-2018, 03:56 PM
I have repented! Blast the Trumpets 'till ears bleed for the Lord!
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,257
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: How Do I get Saved? A Guide for the Lost! -
08-16-2018, 01:37 AM
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