Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > Focus on Family - Christian Parenting
Reload this Page Dumb things wives/women say!
Focus on Family - Christian Parenting A place where parents can get good Godly advice on how to raise a family: how to properly administer corporal punishment, which movies to avoid, and more!

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
John Creeser's Avatar
John Creeser John Creeser is offline
Warning: In case of Rapture, this account will be unmanned.
 

Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound True Christian™ Real American™ Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Flat Earth Tell her once Protected by JESUS One Year/1000 posts Bronze Tither Porn Resistant Pro-Life Persecuted Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Hotrodder Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter True Christian Artist Saved 5 Years Long service medal, 3rd class 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mower Stamp of Approval Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts

 
Posts: 7,175
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Freehold, Iowa
John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!John Creeser will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Unhappy Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-13-2018, 03:59 PM

Friends,
In an effort to share in True Christian™ mens suffrage, I have created this support thread to deal with the dumb (or unChristian things) the women in our lives say or do. I'll share first:

At dinner the last night, out of the blue, Abigail looks right at me and proclaims:

Quote:
"John, I resent the fact I was raped by you, impregnated and forced to marry you! BY MY OWN PARENTS!!!"

As you can imagine, I was dumbfounded, shocked and downright hurt. I explained to her, lovingly, that I carefully chose her to rape, knowing she was the one for me. I didn't hide in the thorn bushes outside the Knoxville Baptist Womens Auxilery for hours without careful consideration. Abigail had refused my advances on more than one occasion so the rape bond was naturally the True Christian™ solution of making her mine...for life!!.

Quote:
Deuteronomy 22:28-29


28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found;
29 Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.
See, too many men rape women carelessly and end up in dysfunctional marriages - it's incredibly sad. Look at Hubert Dowry and his ex-wife; he had to lock her up in the basement as she constantly tried to leave. Why? He hated her, she hated him and both resented the rape bond (it was not well thought out). She eventually did leave after she was found hanging from her own tea towels. Sad that she is burning in hell, but Hubert seems to be a lot more happy these days knowing she won't be in heaven to pester him for eternity.


So I don't get where Abigail is coming from. We have two beautiful sons, I have provided (as long as she obeys and submits to my will Ephesians 5:22-33) and I even spent my hard earned money on this portable Menstra-hut so she doesn't have to spend her unclean time (Leviticus 15:19) in the back yard wood shack!!!

Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Didymus Much's Avatar
Didymus Much Didymus Much is offline
Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
 

Hellbound Heathen Atheist Cancer on Society hippie Caution - Poster is Crazy Evilution Perv Baggie Condemned Reaper Evil Grammar Nazi Democrat Commmmmunnissss How dumb can you get? Five years in the service of the Enemy Beastiality Barney Caution - Poster is on Drugs Demonized Bleeding heart liebral Glutton Drunk Devil Rides the Short Bus Fiddler Potty mouth Retard Posting Philistine skull Pot Head Swiss Skull Sinner Devil's Trill Sonata Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Mower Pastor Ezekiel Prize for Unprecedented Retards Marxist

 
Posts: 12,765
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: calling Jim Spanfeller a herb on a forum somewhere
Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Didymus Much is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-13-2018, 05:47 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
...
Does that have wheels? In case, you know...



"If liberty means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear." George Orwell
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Alan Swallows's Avatar
Alan Swallows Alan Swallows is offline
Preserving Freehold's dead for Christ's return
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College TC Bravery Ready for the Rapture Real American™ Early riser Ex-eurotrash The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Alternative Facts Saved 1 Year Proud Team Fortress Denier

 
Posts: 260
Join Date: Dec 2015
Location: On my knees before Jesus
Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alan Swallows will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-13-2018, 11:20 PM

"No." (Ephesians 5:22)


Strait Gate Funeral Parlor
Alan Swallows – Undertaker – Licensed embalmer
Professional and dignified service • Modern facility • Traditional funeral services • Open all hours

NO cremations and NO unsaved clients

You're never too young (Luke 12:20). Prearrange YOUR funeral today!!!
You already have? Our prearranged funeral packages also make the perfect birthday gift for your loved ones!
What are you waiting for? You've got NOTHING to lose! All funeral plans are 100% refundable if Jesus returns before you die.*


NEW: KIDZ KOFFINZfrom only $895
_________________
* Terms and conditions apply
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Dana723's Avatar
Dana723 Dana723 is offline
Forum member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Cleanest Kitchen True Christian Caucasian Ready for the Rapture Pro-Life Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus

 
Posts: 633
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Here
Dana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureDana723 has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-13-2018, 11:21 PM

How terrible! I know my dear husband waited for me until he was sure. He then raped me only because he knew my father would object. Of course, he took me out into a field so no one could hear me scream and then he happily paid the bride price. That's what men in love do, isn't it?


Psalm 62:5-7 KJV
My soul, wait thou only upon God; for my expectation is from him. He only is my rock and my salvation: he is my defence;
I shall not be moved. In God is my salvation and my glory: the rock of my strength, and my refuge, is in God.
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is online now
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 22,529
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-14-2018, 03:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John Creeser View Post
So I don't get where Abigail is coming from. We have two beautiful sons, I have provided (as long as she obeys and submits to my will Ephesians 5:22-33) and I even spent my hard earned money on this portable Menstra-hut so she doesn't have to spend her unclean time (Leviticus 15:19) in the back yard wood shack!!!

Brother, my condolences. I shall certainly keep you in my prayers. I do wonder, if you don't mind, has Abigail's behavior changed recently? If so, you might consider if she's been approached by liberal feminazis lately. I say this because there is a trend among that kind to indoctrinate the simple Christian woman through seemingly innocuous ideas, like "equality" and "respect" and "empowerment." Thanks to college educated and liberal women, our society now suffers from:
college false rape allegations
mass migration from shithole countries
divorce rape
school shooters
fines for not wearing bicycle helmets
consumerism
wages cut in half
herpes
fat acceptance
safe spaces


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 28,522
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Jesus Re: Dumb things wives/women say! - 08-15-2018, 09:00 PM

As many of you know, I was married to my wife, Mrs. Hutchins for a terribly long time until she disappeared one day about a year ago.
When we first married, she would blather on and on about something or other, it got to where I could not think.

1st Timothy 2:9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2:10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1st Timothy 2:11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1st Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
1st Timothy 2:13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve.
1st Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1st Timothy 2:15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.


It took me a while (a few months probably) before I got the woman to stop all the cackling (I swear, it sounded like chickens). She managed to replace the constant yabbering with sobs.
Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
Ephesians 5:24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.


After a year or so, the sobs went away and she finally became a dutiful wife, with child almost all of the time and nearly everyone born alive.


So to be honest, I really have no idea what dumb things wives say. I simply have more important things to do like thank Jesus and Pray.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2018 all rights reserved