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Default Hand Over Jesus' Crown of Thorns to Landover Baptist Church NOW! - 04-18-2019, 05:26 PM

In the aftermath of the devastating Notre Dame fire many Christians were shocked to find that Jesus' Crown of Thorns was housed there for "safe keeping" - in an aging cathedral in dire need of repairs and susceptible to fire. We might also mention that this took place in France - a place overrun with mooselimbs that would like nothing better than to have the whole place burn to the ground so they can erect a mosque in its place.

To add insult to injury, the story is now coming out that the cathylicks tore a thorn off the crown and placed it in a metal rooster which adorned the top of the church spire to make a "spiritual lightening rod" to protect the church and the residents of Paris. If God wants to strike you by lightening there is nothing you can do about it - aside from repenting your sins.

Indeed, the cathylicks have not been good stewards or practicing due diligence over the centuries. Take for example the True Cross that Jesus was crucified on. They took it and ran it through a wood chipper and sold it off piece by piece - like an auto body chop shop. Then there is Christ's alleged burial cloth, the infamous "Shroud of Turin" - it suddenly pops up in the 14th Century and no one can trace its origins, and we endure years of arguments about "carbon dating" and other hoaxes.

And where is the Vatican and their vast wealth that could have kept Notre Dame cathedral in good repair in all this? It was too busy financing their global sodomy empire.

On belalf of all True Christians™ throughout the world, we hereby demand that the Notre Dame clergy hereby turn over Jesus' Crown of Thorns to the Landover Baptist Church (and we want that missing thorn back too).


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Jesus Re: Hand Over Jesus' Crown of Thorns to Landover Baptist Church NOW! - 04-18-2019, 08:20 PM

Brother Bryan

I would be happy to personally retrieve this holy object. I can at the request of the church immediately travel to Paris and demand its immediate return. I will of course need to stay in the city a few days to minister to the French homers before my tres triomphante return. I can’t think of anyone better suited for the job.

God’s servant
BrotherLarry


Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
“The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
Amen and Amen
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Default Re: Hand Over Jesus' Crown of Thorns to Landover Baptist Church NOW! - 04-18-2019, 08:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
And where is the Vatican and their vast wealth that could have kept Notre Dame cathedral in good repair in all this? It was too busy financing their global sodomy empire.
Amen, dear Brother Bryan. Quite right, absolutely. I can't remember the details as to why the Vatican has not intervened, but I heard they were busy with other things, including a fancy dress party for someone who was celebrating a birthday. The photos below show the guests arriving in their best gowns and hats, and enjoying great merriment, obviously oblivious to the situation with the Lord's crown of thorns. A blessed day to you, dear Brother. Sincerely, Isabella W.









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Swell the mighty flood;
Louder still and louder
Praise the precious .
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